Australia, home to sluts, crooks, and heathen

Hello kiddos, I make you smile merrily along, De Pope has gotten back to his bloggy-blog while here in Hell on Earth, Australia. What idiots this country has yes, yes, poo - poo, all about that crazy animal sodomizer Steven Irwin; Satan hair band Air Supply; and disgusting non-German beer, yuckity yuck yuck, yes, yes. PUKE!

It is Hot, yes, yes, just like Hell, and no one practices proper personal hygene, the incense is all over De Popemobile; this place is worse that Zimbabwe. My GOD in Heaven who looks favorable upon De Pope! Just look at it's history, look, LOOKSEE! England would send it's unwanted; blacks, retards, rapists, and witches, burn the witches! What piece of garbage country, heathens galore, even worse that America. I am Melting!


It is like a country of Malachs and Tequila Mockingbirds, methinks it is time to send the HIV virus over there, yes, yes kiddos, monkeys made it, wink wink. Debauchery, violence, faggotry, and blasphemy. Ugh.


But enough of that, let us pray my dearies.


Let us pray that the United States of America comes to it's senses.


All might Halo Wearer,
Please give the US guidance.
They are very close to having a porch monkey run that country,
and we all know you made us the superior race to them.
It is in the Bible yes, yes.
Strike down upon the nappy head of the Heathen they call OBAMA!
All Mighty Spiritman, we pray.


That is all for today, and be rest assured De Pope has become more inspired, and I have put into my date book to blog once a week at least, yes, yes, that makes you happy, no? Can you feel it your loins?


Você é minha vaquinha pequena, você não causa o problema em seus tecidos fritados porque você come a lama

OOO EEE OOO AHH AHH

Ho, ho, ho, De Pope is back to the bloggy blog! You missed us. Yes, yes, he is now in your stinksmelly Amerikkka! De Pope coming to Amerikkka! TODAY!

Where have De Pope been? BUSY, busy as a disrobed altar boy, tee hee, I kid! De Pope has a new apprentice yes he does, check it out:

That's right W. FEEL THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE in my magic stick, yes, yes. I can feel the juices coursing through your glutes! YES!

De Pope is sorry for his absence, yes, yes, he will be back with the vengeance of a Nun scorned! WEEHEEEEE!

De Pope loves you.

Bow your heads and pray.

Dear Lord of the Almighty Dark Side
W. is now your servant
He of the slick tongue and newculear might
We pray he tickles like a girly girl

Amen.

Cowboy Up! Are you happy now ass-pirate.

Where is de Pope?

Many of you have wondered where De Pope has gone. We shush my child, shhhhh, shhh. De Pope will reveal all soon, but just know, he has been, who you say? Hibernating . . . off with his favorite JesusBride, yes, yes, he has. She is asleep beside me right now, but will awaken to my glorious Jesus Sword soon, so De Pope must go, yes, yes. Soon, very soon

When it comes De Pope wants to wail - MAIL!

Hello again kiddos, De Pope has been busy preparing his trip to Amerikkka, he has. He knows you need he Spiritual guidance you do. But, De Pope also realizes you need to wallow in self pity an guilt for awhile, you do.

De Pope read a blog by that hershey highway ramrod Malach. It was very interesting, it was surprisingly, it was about writing a letter back in time to your 13 year old self, yes, yes. You can read his post here. Unfortunatley Malach did not inform himself not to kills all those people at the local mall, he did not. De Pope thought this might be a good teaching moment for my Jesusphiles, yes, yes, so De Pope has decided to write one himself and commands his readers to reflect on their sinful lives and do one themself, yes a booty.

So here it goes:

Hello little Josef,

This is De Pope, from the year 2007, contacting you I am. And guess what, you were right, like usual, cause De Pope is you, yes, yes. So, in your time it is 1940, you have already decided to be Pope, and that was a good decision, yes it was, but we need to make it faster. So, some warnings. I know you are in the early parts of what will be known as World War II. Hitler, is in full power, and doing wonderful things on one had, but bad things on the other, yes, yes. If you like his moustache, where it now! You will end up joining Hitler Youth, don't worry though, the War will be over in a few more years. You will join the seminary early, like a good boy, but will get drafted in 1943, yes, I know you will be only 16, but Mother Germany as it is now, won't be long for this world, and you can fake sick a lot, and sit arond with the guys, yes, yes. Just whatever you do, make sure the people you associate in these years are not Jewish, Gypsies, or Negros, zap. By 1945, you make a decision to desert your post and head home, unfortunately you head right into the Amerikkans taking over you village and become a POW, luckily the Americakkkans are not yet fornicate pig, so it is ok. The Amerikkkans are nice, and the war ends in a month or two, and you are released, SUMMER VACTION! Good job, you are a good little boy.

You go right back to the seminary almost right away, missing your male compadre's, yes, yes, good boy. Now, push to be ordained; in my timeline you are not ordained until 1951, 6 years after the War, those cheeky bastards. Screw them all and force them to ordain you, with forceful presence if need be. And screw 25 years of university teaching, how boring! Instead start your teaching career with the young kids, yes, yes.

Also, be prepared this time for Second Vatican Counsel. Those heathen bastards want to change everything, make it more liberal, ACHTUNG, no, stop them. Use your sniper skills if you have too, yes, yes. And yes, you become liberal at this point, don't fall for the Marxist teachings, they ruin the Church over the next half decade, ugh. Keep to your guns!

They will finally recognize you genius in 1977 and make you a Cardinal, speed this up too. There is plenty of blackmail out there at this time, all those homo preists, and child rapers, threaten to expose the whole thing, and they will make you Pope sooner than 2005. Also, make sure you see and end to Karol Wojtyla, his Holy Shakiness will almost destroy the Church, and they can just skip him over and make you De Pope.

Once you are Pope, you know what to do Jesus boy. I need not tell you more, yes, yes, wink, wink. As for the rest of the world, it matters not, because if you open the 7th seal earlier, it will all be different! From here I cannot tell you more, as you will change history for the better, WHOPPEEDEEDOOPER!

Love and Kisses
Pope Benedict XVI (yes, yes, thats you).

So, there you have it.

Happy Saint Nicholas Day, yes, yes.

Yes, De Pope hears you pleading for him

De Pope is very busy and he has heard your cries, he has, boohoo. You miss De Pope, his presence, but De Pope is always there. Do you miss his scent, yes, De Pope uses a quality hair shampoo, yes, yes. De Pope has come back to you, WHOPEEE!

De Pope has been in that evil country Saudi Arabia, to meet with some towel heads, yes, yes. Refute their silly little Mohammed lovefest, and turn them on the the Baby Christ Childe, yes, yes. Look at this AP picture of De Pope and the ragheaded devil:Look at De Pope's rippling biceps as compared to this Christ Killer. And no, De Pope does not have to use hair color either. As you can see, Mr. Arab is enchanted and under my spell, yes he is. I do that to the heathen, make them comfortable and suround by the goo of Christ, yes. Just after this picture De Pope cold cocked him with the Left Cross of St. Pete, take that sand walker! And then De Pope just listened to his Pod I, yes he did, denied him the presence of De Pope. Have you ever seen a sucide bombing barbarian cry . . . he want De Pope back, he did.

So De Pope is back home, back home to the kiddos, back home to his favorite new TouYube video, back to his day long marathons of Pirahna Panic, yes, yes, and back to help with the inquisition of the evil ginger kid Conan O'Brien, go Rev. David! De Pope did a good job making Sean O'Malley a Cardinal he did!

And with the Christmas Season coming around, soon my kiddos, soon, De Pope leaves you with this prayer.

Oh Holy Santa Claus,
Spying on us in our desperation for toys.
Be good Santa Claus as we are
and perhaps
you get kiss under the missletoe.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Amen, yes, yes

Kwa heri

A, B, CHRIST!

So De Pope has been tagged by that crevice cleaner Malach to do, how you say a meme? De Pope is interested in this meme, he is, and feels it will be a good teaching lesson for the kiddos, wahwahwahwhan. A Parable if you will, not really.

The basic premise of this . . meme, is to recite the English Alphabet; English of course is just based on Mother Germanic; and apply something that relates to De Pope's life for each letter. WHOHOO FUN TIME! yes, yes.

1. A: Absolution, De Pope is here to give the kiddos Absolution, yes, yes. Now bow your heads and repeat "Lord, you are my satin sheets" after every letter.
2. B: Basilica, De Pope has a large wide inpressive Basilica, he does. Best in the world to stupid Muslims, yes, yes.
3. C: Christ Childe. You must prostrate before the Christ Childe, NOW! OH MIGHT CHRIST CHILDE MASSAGE OUR BODIES WITH THE LIGHT!
4. D: Father Damien of Molokai. Damien, Damien, you left your arm in my parlor! Yes, yes, true story! Rip, plop, teehee.
5. E: Easter. JesuGod has risen, yes, yes. Here come Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail! Hippity Hoppity Jesus on his way, YEEEHAA!
6. F: Fatwa! De Pope's Fatwa states that Here Today Gone Tomorrow will continue to serve Pennace in my blogroll, mwhahahaahahahahaha. Take that Anti-Nun!
7. G: Grace. De Pope confers eternal grace to the first person who comments to this blog, maybe, yes, yes, no.
8. H: Hell. Where many of you will end up, with Ha-Satan, yes, yes, BURN! REPENT crazy kiddos!
9. I: Inquistion, I brought back the Tridentine Mass, is the Inquistion next . . . De Pope won't tell, no, no. Just becareful, the wheel is not a good time, no, no.
10. J: Well obviously JesuGod dummies.
11. K: Kateri Tekakwitha. Man was she, how you say, HOT! Yes, yes, Uh-huhuh
12. L: Lando Calrissian, a light skinned porch monkey who betrayed his friends, and is going to Hell, yes, yes. SCOUNDREL! Chewy are you there, hohohoho!
13. M: Mary the Virgin Mother. You all make here cry, yes, yes. Believe me, I have to hear it on a daily basis! WAH, their committing sins, Wah!
14. N: Nematodes. De Pope has a schedules a plague of Nematodes for Westport, MA, REPENT, REPENT! You ever get one of those in your Urethra? It is not fun, I am talking to you!
15. O: Obligation, especially to Sunday Services, I am talking to all of you again yes, yes, sodomites, squish.
16. P: Why of course, De Pope.
17. Q: Quisp, De Pope's favorite snack, yummynummy for De Pope's tummy.
18. R: Red De Pope's favorite colour.
19. S: Serpent, avoid this guy he's a bad dude, unless he is the Jesus Serpent . . how can you tell? The Halo, yes, yes.
20. T: The Trinity, Holy JesuGod Spirit please save the kiddos who deserve it all loving and forgiving God!.
21. U: Ungoliant, De Pope's Holy Cat.
22. V: The Vatican, where De Pope is king, yes, yes.
23. W: Water to wash aways your sins, usually. And to wash the stench from the Vatican Locker room, slam in the locker with the nerd! WHOHO!
24. X: Saint Xanthippe, what is this bullshit? De Pope's butt is more a Saint than Witchblade Woman here, I AM DE POPE!.
25. Y: Young, are we all not Young at heart in the eyes of the Lord? Let the children come to me, yes, yes!
26. Z: ZZZZAAAAPPP, Holy Plasma Projectiles, your dead, ahahahahahah!

So, De Pope tags anyone who reads this to do the same.

Go in Peace reflecting on the Christ Childe

Here I come to save the day!

De Pope is back kiddos, yes, yes, and I have gotten a number of e-mails applying for a position in Pauperes Commilitones Christi Templique Solomonici and I will explore these crazy e-mails for you at a latter date, applications are still open my freaks, so apply away . . perhaps De Pope will make a application for or something for you to down-on-the-load, yes, yes. BZZZARPT

So, more about De Pope's life? You know you like to look under, the how you say, the dress of De Pope, yes you do. You kiddos and your slang! LOWZ, SFTE! De Pope likes life, so De Pope likes children, and likes amusement parks, yes, yes, like the kiddos. It keeps De Pope young. Yes, I know it is hard to believe with these dashing good looks, I am in my 80's, I wear it well, yes, yes. This is De Pope on Lucifer's Loopy Luge over at Botswana Buffalo Chuck Steak Amusement Park, WEEEEEEEEEEEEESHOOOM!Look at the children smile at De Pope. What a ride yes, yes . . I sure should not have had that Zebra Burrito before going on, no, no, or that Meekrat Skewer, yumser! Fr. Jaczmeov snapped this silly little pic of De Pope a few minutes later.

Yes, that is De Pope with his 55 Gallon Dung Skweezzin's Soda, feeling the effects of the ride, but did I ride the porcelain Popemobile, no, no, De Pope just took some Holy Bismol and that was the ticket, yes, yes. URK, RALPH! Oh no, your shoes! Hohoho, just a joke!

But the trip was a swell time for us and the kiddos, you should have seen the smile on De Pope's face when we left. . . I want to back, yes, yes, but you dummies need someone to lead your flock, can't you give De Pope a month or two off like you give the President of the United States? C'MON! NEWCUELEAR!

Until next time, शौचालय कहाँ है?

God, it's me, De Pope

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Yes De Pope has heard your prayers about De Pope blogging again, boo hoo, you miss De Pope, and it's been too long, but De Pope is very busy; busy busy, like a bumblebee. Yes, you kiddos missed De Pope you did, you missed his wizened guidance, yes, yes. You missed his musky scent did you not, yes? So where has De Pope been? De Pope will tell you.

De Pope went to Blackie's land, Africa, that is where my red hat comes in handy you see. It is very sunny, hot and parched in Africa, God's revenge on the heathens that live there, yes, yes.

But De Pope was protected, yes, yes, De Pope's Hat protects from those Satanistic VU rays, yes. Those VU rays that that Earth Ha-Satan Bush created, yes, yes. Evil. NUCULEAR! That is the real WMD!

So De Pope went to African why? Ohohoho! De Pope need to remind those little Jungle Monkeys who is the boss. Dig those diamonds and send to DE POPE, WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Send the hidden oil, yes. More ruin upon Dafur! Starve those tar babies! Heeeeeheee!

You see Africa in already doomed to Hell, yes, yes. De Pope makes sure he get all the resources from that accursed land before JesuGod Nuke the whole place to slag, WEEEOOOOOOOOOO THADOOOOOOMMMMM! Oh no poor Dumbo! Oh no poor Simba, HAHA!

De Pope also went there for all the Jiggaboo children yes, yes. The kiddos, will make good coon priests, yes, yes. We need them to help us reign in Satan's child, the Black Man, yes, yes. WHAT! No, De Pope is not a racist, he is just following the Holy Bible, yes, yes. It is JesuGod's will. SUPERDEEDUPER! Hey, hey, hey, De Pope has been in control for years . . . give them a little fried chicken and a 40, yes, yes.

Also, the Pope must thank the slutgirl whore wench Tequila Mockingbird, yes, yes. You might be slowly making your way into the Heavenly Host . . . AAAAAAAAA. You see she exposed the Pollack Anti-Pope for who is truly is, see for yourself, gotcha evil man. Heehee, that man was cursed by JesuGod, see him shaking all the time, who does he think is, that child Alex P. Keaton? De Pope is glad we finally killed him in his last days, yes, yes.

What! Of course we killed Karol, what kind of name is that for a Pope, Karol, ugh. So De Pope and the other Cardinal, we gave Karol a rake, and told him to go rake leaves, he climbed a tree and fell out, breaking his neck, yes, yes. Uh, we shot him too, all for love and peace. Now you ungrateful people are free from his Evil, and yes, DE POPE . . . . .AAAAAHHHH, SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE!

Ciao

De Pope and the 7 Secrets he keeps

So De Pope was tagged by Malach the Sausage Sucker, oh yes he did, but not in that way to perverts, yes, yes. He needs to play this stupid game, but De Pope has decided to turn the tables on that Sphincter Stretcher. He will give you 7 secrets, but not ask others to do that same, no, no, I only ask that you go to confession and confess you ghastly sins, anyone who reads these word, COFESSTICATE! You can confess in my comments section and De Pope will pass judgement, Zowee.

Also, De Pope has started a blogroll, and De Pope has decided to add anyone who posts at De Pope blog to that list yes, yes. I also found out Malach works for a Catholic Charities Organization, guess who's getting fired on Monday . . .. SHE BOOM! Yes, yes.

Listen, do you want to know a secret?

1. De Pope was not born to as you would call Parents. God just placed De Pope on Earth, BAMF, smoke, he was there. He placed De Pope in Germany, knowing what was going to happen a few years later, yes, yes. De Pope could teach the German People, and at the same time help to wipe out the dirty Heebs, yes, yes. FIRE! De Pope taught the blessed Aryans about the Almighty Lord Jesus, Praise Jesus! It is all in the Book of Herepedes, yes, yes

2. De Pope has blessed the beer, De Pope has blessed the beer, Hi Ho the Derio De Pope has blessed the beer, GLUG. You see, this is the true Blood of Christ, a nice tall pilsner. What you are confused, yes you are. God, is a beer drinker, Jesus drank wine because between you and me, he was a bit of a, how you say? Metrosexual, yes, yes. This embarassed God a little bit, and gave him a little identity crisis, as we all know Jesus and God are the same being, yes, yes, but different, true. Well De Pope has a mission from God to restore the true blood of Christ to it's rightful place, at Mass. Rattadingdong! Yes.

Oh, and none of that Guinness Garbage made by those Mick Demon Spawn, no, no. If you want steak, cook a steak. Dummy.

3. Jesus was never married, he was too interested in himself. Look how he took over the Bible. Everything is Jesus this, and Jesus said that . . . would a guy like that ever get married, no! It is good though and all part of Jesugod's plan . . . Yes.

4. Masturbation will really not make you go blind, grow hair on your palms, or kill angels . . . you like that one, yeah, we made that up just to screw around with your head, yes, yes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, joke is on you. Abortion on the otherhand . . . tsk, tsk, tsk.

5. Santa Clause is real. It is acually De Pope flying all around the world on Christmas night bringing joy, like Jesugod would do. We have been doing it for centuries, yes, yes. De Pope loves to give out his BRATZ dolls, and Dr. Dreadful Gooey Food Lab and new Underoos to the kiddos, yes, yes. ON VIXEN WHIP CRACK, ho ho what a imagination you humans have.

6. You all know De Pope likesa to rock out to de Punk music, but here is a secret, De Pope is also big fans of his buddies, the Geto Boys . . . Damn it feel good to be a gangster! Yes, yes, word to your mother. Don't make me pop a cap in your ass, hehehe.

7. 7, the Holy Number, bow your head and pray

Holy Number 7, please protect us from 6. Join with 8 to eat 9. All Mighty
Jesus of the 7 heads, please defend your people of the lowly number 5, with you laser eyes, and fire breath. We worship the 7, the number of Jesusgod. For now, and forever.

Amen

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, go in
peace.

That is the Popes special blessing for my readers, yes, yes, maybe you will make De Pope's blogroll? Bye.

Some more about De Pope, yes,yes

Thank the kiddos for all the e-mails de Pope has been getting, yikesabooby, he answers everyone, yes, yes. Also, De Pope must thanks all the bloggers, evil and good who have linked to de Pope to help spread the message of Our Lord Savior Jesus Christ, yadango! De Pope will have to work on a blog roll . . . . . HMMMMMMhack . . .

Also de Pope must thank Christopher Morris for his assistance in helping de Pope load his theme music (DE POPE! SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE, so true, true it is) properly, there is a special place in Heaven for little Christopher, yes, yes, cutie.

So, de Pope wants to tell you a little bit more about his life, yes, yes. The last post about it was popular, and reading some other bloggers gave de Pope a idea, YAY! Unfortunately de Pope got this idea from that evil Fag Malach, BLECHOBLECH. But de Pope will turn it into something good, and for the All Mighty, yes, yes.

Five Snacks you enjoy

1. His Body
2. His Blood
3. Cheez Whiz
4. Bon Bons
5. Strudel

Five Songs you know all the Words too

1. Friends are like Flowers
2. Amazing Grace
3. Peace is Flowing like a River
4. Jesus Built my Hot Rod
5. Personal Jesus

Five Things if Would do if you were a Millionaire

1. De Pope is already a Millionaire

Five Bad Habits

1. De Pope has no bad habits

Five Things you like doing

1. Driving in my sweet ride
2. Listening too the Punk Rock Music
3. Dancing the German Dance
4. Sending Heathens to Hell
5. Exorcisms

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again

1. A Burka
2. A Turban
3. A Straw Hat
4. A fez
5. A German Army Helmet

Five Favorite Toys

1. The Shroud of Turin
2. The Holy Lance
3. The Holy Grail
4. The Veil of Veronica
5. The Holy Prepuce

See, now you no more about your hero de Pope, yes, yes.

Mekkalekkahilekkahineyho

Who is De Pope?

People always emails and askes De Pope, what De Pope is like in real life, WHAT? What De Pope's human side is like, yes, yes. The kiddos only ever see De Pope's Divine Essence, and not the man, no, no.

So De Pope put together a picto-blog for the kiddos, blango, a sort of kind of, what do the kiddos do, MySpace like biography (Don't worry, De Pope will never do the MySpace, just joining sends one to Hell, it does). I will slowly put these out so you can all get a little closer to De Pope, WHOPPPEEE. So here we go with our first one, excited in you nether regions? You should be, yes, yes.

Many of you did not realize De Pope likes the Punk Rock music? Yes, yes, I hide that from the Cardinals, but here is a picture of De Pope rockin' out to The Super Suckers. And no, De Pope is not, how you say, Emo, no, no. Emo's are fags, they go to Hell, yes, yes.

The picture is from a Vatican sponsored birthday party, boy were those old men, and young boys surprised. Not only were the Suckers there, but also The Make Up; how I love to hear that Ian Svenonius squeal like a little child, yes, yes, YEEEHOOOO. Also Teenage Atari Riot made a rad guest appearance they did. They made my ears bleed, and throw up divine bile into De Pope's mouth, yes, yes, would you like to buy some? But I was dissapointed, they were not teenagers, sad.

Angryman thinks he is some kind of punk, yes he does. But he does not have a punk party like De Pope. And no, De Pope did not invite the blasphemous Jello Biafra, and his evil band, no, no. They are all going to Hell, and then they can play for the real dead Kennedys.

One, more, I hear your thousands of voices screaming out all at once, I am De Pope. This is De Pope, making fireworks for the kiddos, on the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ, yes, yes. What you say, the Catholic Church hasn't celebrated that Feast since Second Vatican Council? Well remember De Pope is tossing out that bullshit, Masses in Latin are back, baby, FREAKYDEAKYDOO! What, you are surprised De Pope can create fireworks from his fingers? Silly humans, De Pope is Divine, yes, yes. What you see is really an electric plasmatic discharge, not unsimilar to what the Angel Gabriel destroyed the Hosts of Sennacheric with, yes, yes. As the C&C Music Factory says, I GOT THE POWER! BRRRZAPP! Take that Imam #12!

Did you enjoy De Popes, life? Yes, I know, it is amazing, yes, yes. De Pope will give you more on a later date, you are waiting with breathless anticipation, no?

Shalom.