A, B, CHRIST!

So De Pope has been tagged by that crevice cleaner Malach to do, how you say a meme? De Pope is interested in this meme, he is, and feels it will be a good teaching lesson for the kiddos, wahwahwahwhan. A Parable if you will, not really.

The basic premise of this . . meme, is to recite the English Alphabet; English of course is just based on Mother Germanic; and apply something that relates to De Pope's life for each letter. WHOHOO FUN TIME! yes, yes.

1. A: Absolution, De Pope is here to give the kiddos Absolution, yes, yes. Now bow your heads and repeat "Lord, you are my satin sheets" after every letter.
2. B: Basilica, De Pope has a large wide inpressive Basilica, he does. Best in the world to stupid Muslims, yes, yes.
3. C: Christ Childe. You must prostrate before the Christ Childe, NOW! OH MIGHT CHRIST CHILDE MASSAGE OUR BODIES WITH THE LIGHT!
4. D: Father Damien of Molokai. Damien, Damien, you left your arm in my parlor! Yes, yes, true story! Rip, plop, teehee.
5. E: Easter. JesuGod has risen, yes, yes. Here come Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail! Hippity Hoppity Jesus on his way, YEEEHAA!
6. F: Fatwa! De Pope's Fatwa states that Here Today Gone Tomorrow will continue to serve Pennace in my blogroll, mwhahahaahahahahaha. Take that Anti-Nun!
7. G: Grace. De Pope confers eternal grace to the first person who comments to this blog, maybe, yes, yes, no.
8. H: Hell. Where many of you will end up, with Ha-Satan, yes, yes, BURN! REPENT crazy kiddos!
9. I: Inquistion, I brought back the Tridentine Mass, is the Inquistion next . . . De Pope won't tell, no, no. Just becareful, the wheel is not a good time, no, no.
10. J: Well obviously JesuGod dummies.
11. K: Kateri Tekakwitha. Man was she, how you say, HOT! Yes, yes, Uh-huhuh
12. L: Lando Calrissian, a light skinned porch monkey who betrayed his friends, and is going to Hell, yes, yes. SCOUNDREL! Chewy are you there, hohohoho!
13. M: Mary the Virgin Mother. You all make here cry, yes, yes. Believe me, I have to hear it on a daily basis! WAH, their committing sins, Wah!
14. N: Nematodes. De Pope has a schedules a plague of Nematodes for Westport, MA, REPENT, REPENT! You ever get one of those in your Urethra? It is not fun, I am talking to you!
15. O: Obligation, especially to Sunday Services, I am talking to all of you again yes, yes, sodomites, squish.
16. P: Why of course, De Pope.
17. Q: Quisp, De Pope's favorite snack, yummynummy for De Pope's tummy.
18. R: Red De Pope's favorite colour.
19. S: Serpent, avoid this guy he's a bad dude, unless he is the Jesus Serpent . . how can you tell? The Halo, yes, yes.
20. T: The Trinity, Holy JesuGod Spirit please save the kiddos who deserve it all loving and forgiving God!.
21. U: Ungoliant, De Pope's Holy Cat.
22. V: The Vatican, where De Pope is king, yes, yes.
23. W: Water to wash aways your sins, usually. And to wash the stench from the Vatican Locker room, slam in the locker with the nerd! WHOHO!
24. X: Saint Xanthippe, what is this bullshit? De Pope's butt is more a Saint than Witchblade Woman here, I AM DE POPE!.
25. Y: Young, are we all not Young at heart in the eyes of the Lord? Let the children come to me, yes, yes!
26. Z: ZZZZAAAAPPP, Holy Plasma Projectiles, your dead, ahahahahahah!

So, De Pope tags anyone who reads this to do the same.

Go in Peace reflecting on the Christ Childe

Here I come to save the day!

De Pope is back kiddos, yes, yes, and I have gotten a number of e-mails applying for a position in Pauperes Commilitones Christi Templique Solomonici and I will explore these crazy e-mails for you at a latter date, applications are still open my freaks, so apply away . . perhaps De Pope will make a application for or something for you to down-on-the-load, yes, yes. BZZZARPT

So, more about De Pope's life? You know you like to look under, the how you say, the dress of De Pope, yes you do. You kiddos and your slang! LOWZ, SFTE! De Pope likes life, so De Pope likes children, and likes amusement parks, yes, yes, like the kiddos. It keeps De Pope young. Yes, I know it is hard to believe with these dashing good looks, I am in my 80's, I wear it well, yes, yes. This is De Pope on Lucifer's Loopy Luge over at Botswana Buffalo Chuck Steak Amusement Park, WEEEEEEEEEEEEESHOOOM!Look at the children smile at De Pope. What a ride yes, yes . . I sure should not have had that Zebra Burrito before going on, no, no, or that Meekrat Skewer, yumser! Fr. Jaczmeov snapped this silly little pic of De Pope a few minutes later.

Yes, that is De Pope with his 55 Gallon Dung Skweezzin's Soda, feeling the effects of the ride, but did I ride the porcelain Popemobile, no, no, De Pope just took some Holy Bismol and that was the ticket, yes, yes. URK, RALPH! Oh no, your shoes! Hohoho, just a joke!

But the trip was a swell time for us and the kiddos, you should have seen the smile on De Pope's face when we left. . . I want to back, yes, yes, but you dummies need someone to lead your flock, can't you give De Pope a month or two off like you give the President of the United States? C'MON! NEWCUELEAR!

Until next time, शौचालय कहाँ है?

Pauperes Commilitones Christi Templique Solomonici

Hello again chickas and chicos, De Pope is here to school you, esse. Yes, De Pope wants to discuss with the kiddos about the Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon, or as you dummies know it, the Knights Templar, yes, yes.

You see, the older Anti-Popes has supressed the good name of the Knights yes, yes. But after some fistacuffs with Cardinal Law, De Pope kicked his unholy ass and released the secret Vatican Documents, yes, yes. WHAP!

What? You maybe wondering why De Pope would do something like that, you may. Well shepoopy, you dummies should be smarter than that, De Pope was raised in Nazi Germany and realizes the value of a Secret Police, HAH, he does. So wham bam thank you ma'am, De Pope has forgiven them, and they immediately set out to enforce the Law of JesuGod! YEEHAA! Get in that cell negro!

And they almost immediately did a good deed, yes, yes. They immediately went out and caught the fag boy Monsignor Tommaso Stenico trying to get away with his evil gay sex plan of but raping, dirty sanchezs, and sausage mouth, yucky mucky, yes, yes! Now De Pope is recruiting, do you want to be a Pauperes Commilitones Christi Templique Solomonici? Yes you do, contact De Pope for an appilcation, young men are encouraged to apply, yes, yes!

Also De Pope needs to thank, yes he does, that Holy AngryforJeusGodman and that slutty vixen C. Harlot for exposing the real evil of Princess of Hell Dieanna is their, how you say, pudcast? That was straight falling hombies! They are like Jesus and the prostitutes, Look De Pope gave your a free parable.

And that anti-nun also wants me to remove her from De Pope's Blogroll, but no, De Pope will use her to teach a lesson about evil, yes, yes. See children this is not how you should live your life, and unwashed drug addled hippy.

As the kids say, Syonara Suckers.

God, it's me, De Pope

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Yes De Pope has heard your prayers about De Pope blogging again, boo hoo, you miss De Pope, and it's been too long, but De Pope is very busy; busy busy, like a bumblebee. Yes, you kiddos missed De Pope you did, you missed his wizened guidance, yes, yes. You missed his musky scent did you not, yes? So where has De Pope been? De Pope will tell you.

De Pope went to Blackie's land, Africa, that is where my red hat comes in handy you see. It is very sunny, hot and parched in Africa, God's revenge on the heathens that live there, yes, yes.

But De Pope was protected, yes, yes, De Pope's Hat protects from those Satanistic VU rays, yes. Those VU rays that that Earth Ha-Satan Bush created, yes, yes. Evil. NUCULEAR! That is the real WMD!

So De Pope went to African why? Ohohoho! De Pope need to remind those little Jungle Monkeys who is the boss. Dig those diamonds and send to DE POPE, WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Send the hidden oil, yes. More ruin upon Dafur! Starve those tar babies! Heeeeeheee!

You see Africa in already doomed to Hell, yes, yes. De Pope makes sure he get all the resources from that accursed land before JesuGod Nuke the whole place to slag, WEEEOOOOOOOOOO THADOOOOOOMMMMM! Oh no poor Dumbo! Oh no poor Simba, HAHA!

De Pope also went there for all the Jiggaboo children yes, yes. The kiddos, will make good coon priests, yes, yes. We need them to help us reign in Satan's child, the Black Man, yes, yes. WHAT! No, De Pope is not a racist, he is just following the Holy Bible, yes, yes. It is JesuGod's will. SUPERDEEDUPER! Hey, hey, hey, De Pope has been in control for years . . . give them a little fried chicken and a 40, yes, yes.

Also, the Pope must thank the slutgirl whore wench Tequila Mockingbird, yes, yes. You might be slowly making your way into the Heavenly Host . . . AAAAAAAAA. You see she exposed the Pollack Anti-Pope for who is truly is, see for yourself, gotcha evil man. Heehee, that man was cursed by JesuGod, see him shaking all the time, who does he think is, that child Alex P. Keaton? De Pope is glad we finally killed him in his last days, yes, yes.

What! Of course we killed Karol, what kind of name is that for a Pope, Karol, ugh. So De Pope and the other Cardinal, we gave Karol a rake, and told him to go rake leaves, he climbed a tree and fell out, breaking his neck, yes, yes. Uh, we shot him too, all for love and peace. Now you ungrateful people are free from his Evil, and yes, DE POPE . . . . .AAAAAHHHH, SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE!

Ciao

De Pope and the 7 Secrets he keeps

So De Pope was tagged by Malach the Sausage Sucker, oh yes he did, but not in that way to perverts, yes, yes. He needs to play this stupid game, but De Pope has decided to turn the tables on that Sphincter Stretcher. He will give you 7 secrets, but not ask others to do that same, no, no, I only ask that you go to confession and confess you ghastly sins, anyone who reads these word, COFESSTICATE! You can confess in my comments section and De Pope will pass judgement, Zowee.

Also, De Pope has started a blogroll, and De Pope has decided to add anyone who posts at De Pope blog to that list yes, yes. I also found out Malach works for a Catholic Charities Organization, guess who's getting fired on Monday . . .. SHE BOOM! Yes, yes.

Listen, do you want to know a secret?

1. De Pope was not born to as you would call Parents. God just placed De Pope on Earth, BAMF, smoke, he was there. He placed De Pope in Germany, knowing what was going to happen a few years later, yes, yes. De Pope could teach the German People, and at the same time help to wipe out the dirty Heebs, yes, yes. FIRE! De Pope taught the blessed Aryans about the Almighty Lord Jesus, Praise Jesus! It is all in the Book of Herepedes, yes, yes

2. De Pope has blessed the beer, De Pope has blessed the beer, Hi Ho the Derio De Pope has blessed the beer, GLUG. You see, this is the true Blood of Christ, a nice tall pilsner. What you are confused, yes you are. God, is a beer drinker, Jesus drank wine because between you and me, he was a bit of a, how you say? Metrosexual, yes, yes. This embarassed God a little bit, and gave him a little identity crisis, as we all know Jesus and God are the same being, yes, yes, but different, true. Well De Pope has a mission from God to restore the true blood of Christ to it's rightful place, at Mass. Rattadingdong! Yes.

Oh, and none of that Guinness Garbage made by those Mick Demon Spawn, no, no. If you want steak, cook a steak. Dummy.

3. Jesus was never married, he was too interested in himself. Look how he took over the Bible. Everything is Jesus this, and Jesus said that . . . would a guy like that ever get married, no! It is good though and all part of Jesugod's plan . . . Yes.

4. Masturbation will really not make you go blind, grow hair on your palms, or kill angels . . . you like that one, yeah, we made that up just to screw around with your head, yes, yes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, joke is on you. Abortion on the otherhand . . . tsk, tsk, tsk.

5. Santa Clause is real. It is acually De Pope flying all around the world on Christmas night bringing joy, like Jesugod would do. We have been doing it for centuries, yes, yes. De Pope loves to give out his BRATZ dolls, and Dr. Dreadful Gooey Food Lab and new Underoos to the kiddos, yes, yes. ON VIXEN WHIP CRACK, ho ho what a imagination you humans have.

6. You all know De Pope likesa to rock out to de Punk music, but here is a secret, De Pope is also big fans of his buddies, the Geto Boys . . . Damn it feel good to be a gangster! Yes, yes, word to your mother. Don't make me pop a cap in your ass, hehehe.

7. 7, the Holy Number, bow your head and pray

Holy Number 7, please protect us from 6. Join with 8 to eat 9. All Mighty
Jesus of the 7 heads, please defend your people of the lowly number 5, with you laser eyes, and fire breath. We worship the 7, the number of Jesusgod. For now, and forever.

Amen

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, go in
peace.

That is the Popes special blessing for my readers, yes, yes, maybe you will make De Pope's blogroll? Bye.

Some more about De Pope, yes,yes

Thank the kiddos for all the e-mails de Pope has been getting, yikesabooby, he answers everyone, yes, yes. Also, De Pope must thanks all the bloggers, evil and good who have linked to de Pope to help spread the message of Our Lord Savior Jesus Christ, yadango! De Pope will have to work on a blog roll . . . . . HMMMMMMhack . . .

Also de Pope must thank Christopher Morris for his assistance in helping de Pope load his theme music (DE POPE! SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE, so true, true it is) properly, there is a special place in Heaven for little Christopher, yes, yes, cutie.

So, de Pope wants to tell you a little bit more about his life, yes, yes. The last post about it was popular, and reading some other bloggers gave de Pope a idea, YAY! Unfortunately de Pope got this idea from that evil Fag Malach, BLECHOBLECH. But de Pope will turn it into something good, and for the All Mighty, yes, yes.

Five Snacks you enjoy

1. His Body
2. His Blood
3. Cheez Whiz
4. Bon Bons
5. Strudel

Five Songs you know all the Words too

1. Friends are like Flowers
2. Amazing Grace
3. Peace is Flowing like a River
4. Jesus Built my Hot Rod
5. Personal Jesus

Five Things if Would do if you were a Millionaire

1. De Pope is already a Millionaire

Five Bad Habits

1. De Pope has no bad habits

Five Things you like doing

1. Driving in my sweet ride
2. Listening too the Punk Rock Music
3. Dancing the German Dance
4. Sending Heathens to Hell
5. Exorcisms

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again

1. A Burka
2. A Turban
3. A Straw Hat
4. A fez
5. A German Army Helmet

Five Favorite Toys

1. The Shroud of Turin
2. The Holy Lance
3. The Holy Grail
4. The Veil of Veronica
5. The Holy Prepuce

See, now you no more about your hero de Pope, yes, yes.

Mekkalekkahilekkahineyho

Vatican Edict of Alternate Religious Thoughts and Bovine

De Pope has edited this, yes he has, as he missed a couple of religions, yes, yes.

Ahhhahaha! De Pope has been inspired by a post from Colonel Colonel, WHAT?. See his post here. De Pope has decided that this model would make a good teaching sermon for the kiddos, yes, yes. So De Pope has worked on it, he is good. Any Catholic Priests, feel free to use this for your Sunday Sermon, yabango!.

You see there was this cow, yes, yes . . .

Jews

• You have a cow in your midst
• You don't think the cow is the savior because you are too cheap, and too interested in money to notice
• You don't eat the cow, because it is unclean, even though you are starving
• You whine until someone gives you land in the Holy Land
• You end up in Hell

Muslim

• You like the Cow, and the Cow's mother, but decide that a Rooster is a better choice.
• You strap bombs to the Cow, and then send him to a school and explode him
• You decide that if other people don't like your Rooster, they should die.
• You fly the Cow into buildings like a coward
• You make the Cow wear a Burka
• You end up in Hell

Christian Denominations other the Catholic

• You like the Cow a lot, and want to follow the Cow everywhere, but forget that the cow provides nourishment, and you starve on the journey.
• You send people to Hell if they don't like you particular kind of Cow you like
• You end up in Hell

Mormons

• You rediscovered the Cow in the 1800's with magic plates
• This Cow told you to have multiple wives
• Even if you accept the Cow you only have a 130,000 in 6billion chance of Heaven
• This Cow was made up by a crazy man, so, your religion is fake
• You end up in Hell

Wiccans

• You forget the Cow is there are you are too busy looking at the field, the Flowers, The Trees
• You end up in Hell

Buddhist

• They Cow is unimportant
• You take the Cow and put him on a seesaw, and attempt to balance the seesaw with the Cow's dung.
• After you kill the Cow, he will come back as a mosquito
• You meditate on the Cow, yet do nothing
• You end up in Hell

Hinduist

• There is no Cow, but there is a dragon, a elephant, a snake, a donkey, and so on
• You have a fake Cow, which you won't touch
• When you kill that Cow, he becomes another Cow
• You would never think of eating the Cow
• You end up in Hell

Scientologist

• You don't have a Cow you have Han Solo
• You need to pay a lot of money to visit with Han Solo
• You really like bad science fiction
• You end up in Hell

Atheist

• Cows don't exist and the one before your eyes is a fake.
• You end up in Hell

Agnostics

• The Cow is there, but the Cow is too complicated for your simple mind to understand.
• You end up in Hell

Humanists

• Cows are just cows
• You end up in Hell

Catholic

• You love the Cow unconditionally
• You partake of the meal that the Cow offers
• You partake of the special events the Cow throws for you
• You are blessed and Heaven Bound.

As you can see, De Pope has a point, that I hope is not lost on the Kiddos, no, no

Peace out, De Pope is Audi 5000.