Who is De Pope?

People always emails and askes De Pope, what De Pope is like in real life, WHAT? What De Pope's human side is like, yes, yes. The kiddos only ever see De Pope's Divine Essence, and not the man, no, no.

So De Pope put together a picto-blog for the kiddos, blango, a sort of kind of, what do the kiddos do, MySpace like biography (Don't worry, De Pope will never do the MySpace, just joining sends one to Hell, it does). I will slowly put these out so you can all get a little closer to De Pope, WHOPPPEEE. So here we go with our first one, excited in you nether regions? You should be, yes, yes.

Many of you did not realize De Pope likes the Punk Rock music? Yes, yes, I hide that from the Cardinals, but here is a picture of De Pope rockin' out to The Super Suckers. And no, De Pope is not, how you say, Emo, no, no. Emo's are fags, they go to Hell, yes, yes.

The picture is from a Vatican sponsored birthday party, boy were those old men, and young boys surprised. Not only were the Suckers there, but also The Make Up; how I love to hear that Ian Svenonius squeal like a little child, yes, yes, YEEEHOOOO. Also Teenage Atari Riot made a rad guest appearance they did. They made my ears bleed, and throw up divine bile into De Pope's mouth, yes, yes, would you like to buy some? But I was dissapointed, they were not teenagers, sad.

Angryman thinks he is some kind of punk, yes he does. But he does not have a punk party like De Pope. And no, De Pope did not invite the blasphemous Jello Biafra, and his evil band, no, no. They are all going to Hell, and then they can play for the real dead Kennedys.

One, more, I hear your thousands of voices screaming out all at once, I am De Pope. This is De Pope, making fireworks for the kiddos, on the Feast of the Circumcision of Christ, yes, yes. What you say, the Catholic Church hasn't celebrated that Feast since Second Vatican Council? Well remember De Pope is tossing out that bullshit, Masses in Latin are back, baby, FREAKYDEAKYDOO! What, you are surprised De Pope can create fireworks from his fingers? Silly humans, De Pope is Divine, yes, yes. What you see is really an electric plasmatic discharge, not unsimilar to what the Angel Gabriel destroyed the Hosts of Sennacheric with, yes, yes. As the C&C Music Factory says, I GOT THE POWER! BRRRZAPP! Take that Imam #12!

Did you enjoy De Popes, life? Yes, I know, it is amazing, yes, yes. De Pope will give you more on a later date, you are waiting with breathless anticipation, no?

Shalom.

De Pope does not swing that way

Ever since De Pope sent that nice nun-like woman Sara Sue a picture of his Jesussword, he has gotten emails from the Catholic ladies, yes, yes. Whohoo, they want to battle Ha-Satan with De Pope leading the way, BAM, rattatang tang, slice, sploosh! Take that Satan, right in the Teeth! Whap!

But De Pope is now worried, it seems that heretical asspirate Malach the Fagboy is making pictures of De Pope for his own depraved mastabatory fantasies, yes, yes he is evil my children.

WHAT?! Well, DE POPE don't swing that way Malach the Rust Dirt Star Poker, no, no. De Pope is only have sexual intercourse with Jesus and his mother Mary, yes, yes. De Pope also does not appreciate this blasphemous cartoon, NO, NO! You embarass De Pope . .

What is your problem, are you gay for De Pope? Do you get all hard like a little boy? You got De Pope, up late tonight at De Vatican . . . It is almost 1AM, you see I worry for you perverted soul, I do, yes, yes.

This time your are double excommunicated, I can do that, I am De Pope.

And for those of you who think De Pope is really this goofy guy, De Pope must deny. You dare insinuate De Pope be Polish? You might as well be calling De Pope and Hook Nosed Jew, no, no!

Shut and Dance II

Come Dance with the little Monkey Belgian Waffle!

Hoho, kiddies, Dance for Jesus with VAN DAMME, yes, yes!

Knock Knock

Who's dere?

Da Pope.

Da Pope who?

Da Pope is just testing to see if blogger is still acting like a Mary Magdelene conspiracy theorist!

The Pope Says: Shut Up and Dance!

Look at this little green children dance, they make de Pope happy. Yes, yes, hee hee! Go little green children go an cut a rug for de Pope. Whohoo.

The Sermons on the Evils of Blogging

De Pope has explored some blogs, and he has decided to excommunicate a number of bloggers, they are evil and you should not go there, even if say there is the sharing of his blood and body, or a youth revival . . . so orders de Pope, yes, yes.

Malach the Unmerciful - He spews anti-Jesus garbage
C. Rag - Nothing but nudity and feminist opinions, she will go to Hell.
Dr. Murk - Proports to be a helpful Dr., he is not, just a drunk. And his podcast is awful. Ha-Satan has a seat for him right by his left side.
The Angry Piper - what more do you need, he is Irish and wear a dress, Damned
Phoebe Fay - She is a hard ass woman, hence a Lesbian, no room in the king of heaven for queers.
Joey Polanski - He's Polish, a step lower than being Irish.
Cash - Talking Dog, Spawn of Baphomet. So simple it's in the Gospels

On the other hand, I have found bloggers who get my blessing.

Sara Sue - Good Christian values in this one, she is a bride of Christ, If I wasn't da pope . . .
Angryman - Angry for Jesus Justice!

That is about all . . . I leave you with this, ho, ho! It explains a lot.

The sermon on the Evils of Vladimir Putin

Ho ho ho, what do we have here? Vladimir Putin, raping a innocent, and not in the name of Jesus! I de Pope, declare Vladimir Putin, anti-christ. Did you see that, that's right, de Pope has the power.And who do you think you are your Russian genocidal bastard? Da Pope? Why you show us your boobies? Why you show your hot body. Why you try to be like little Carmen? Hohohohoho . .

The Nazi should of taken care of your people during the big one, yes, yes.

I am de Pope. Ask any of the young men around the Vatican who is more hot. They will say de Pope!

Hohoho, look at me, I have drawers on my head, I am de Pope.

Check me out

Check me out homedogs. I am hip, I am a hippity hopping theme song that is in your grilly so snizzle . . .

Test

Yes, I am technically infallible, but this technology is not

-Love Ratzy