C. Rag

I was only in a few weeks in my freshman year in college when I met Momo in the library. My Geology lab partner was running late so I told her I would get started on my part & she could finish the other half. We had to check out sample rocks from the library & not take them outside of the library. I had my rocks & laptop & book sprawled out on a table. I didn’t notice the dark skinned older black man at the table next to me, but he noticed me.

As soon as I was settled, he moved next to me & said, Hi, I’m Momo.

I jumped, because I was concentrating on the task at hand & wasn’t expecting anyone to speak to me. Once I had composed myself, I introduced myself to the thick short built man with a funny accent.

He gave me a big smile & started asking me what I was doing where I was from. I told him & politely asked him similar questions. He said he was from Kenya a small village in a region I never heard of. He said he was very proud to be going to university in the States. He mentioned what he planned on studying, but for the life of me I can’t remember. He wanted to return to his village with his knowledge to help out his fellow villagers. His village didn’t have running water or the other modern amenities. He talked about how he would have to carry buckets to get water. It was a very interesting conversation. He was very forward but it was cute with his accent. Sort of like how some British accents are charming even if they are talking about taking a shit. So eventually I mentioned that I needed to finish up my work & he still sat next to me, but I was able to finish without anymore conversation.

I would occasionally run into Momo on campus & we would exchange hellos. I would only have two more run ins with him that would provide a very interesting look into his culture. Once Momo got talking he wouldn’t stop. So I had learned from my first meeting to try to keep it short. One day later in the first semester, Momo was pretty down. He started talking about how hard it was here to meet women. He said I don’t like the black women here in the States. He stuck his head out put his hand in the air & started strutting trying to reenact the black women he had come across. He said how would you describe that? that they are…have…

I didn’t respond, because I wasn’t really sure what he was getting at. His eyes got really big when he knew the word he wanted to use. They have too much attitude. They are too masculine. They are not feminine. They do not know their place. They don’t know their place with men. They don’t know how to be submissive. I understood Momo came from a different culture with different views on men & women’s relationships so I decided not to judge. He went on to say that white women are feminine like you. He nodded his head towards me. But white women in the states are not into African men. I prefer white women, but they are not into African men. I have some friends who went to Germany to study & loved it, because German women love African men. You can’t keep them off of you. The whole conversation was sort of humorous with his cute little accent & his frustration at not being able to hook up with any women yet. He wasn’t good looking & he was older at a college full of 18-21 year olds. His prospects were low despite the ethnic & culture differences. I gave some encouraging words that it would take time to get to know people.

Exams & Christmas break came & went. Spring semester started up again. I hadn’t seen Momo around campus, but by that time I wasn’t staying in the dorms. I pretty much was living with CockMaster & would have my daily walk of shame to pick up books or clothes at my dorm. I wasn’t at the center of campus like I was Fall semester so my chances of running to him was less. One evening I was leaving the dorm with my walk of shame bag heading over to CockMaster’s when I bumped into Momo. He was so excited to see me. He was worried that something had happened to me, because he hadn’t seen me since the middle of last semester. My friend & I are going dancing please come out with me. It was very sweet, but I don’t dance unless there’s a pole involve. I told him I was heading over to my boyfriend’s place this evening & we had plans. Of all of our short conversations I never mentioned anything about me, because he was a talker & dominated the conversation. His big eyes got really sad. If you came out dancing with me, your boyfriend would beat you. I bit my tongue to keep myself from laughing at that statement which was just another culture difference. He went on. Back home we would beat women who cheated. I told him I would love to go out, but I have plans & I hope that he had a good time.

That was the last time I talked to Momo. I think I saw him a couple of times across the street walking in the opposite direction, but the sidewalk was crammed full of people so it was hard to tell.

I’ve always wondered what happened to him.

22 Comments

So I get up at pretty much the same time to go to the bathroom about 2 am every morning. Nothing was out of the ordinary this morning. I went back to sleep after the bathroom.

At 3 am, AngryGinger started a Kung Fu Tournament. Somehow AG & my dog are connected, because my dog started moving around.

I’m thinking to myself for Titty Fucking Christ is this how it’s going to be, a tag team of delinquent behavior from the kid & the dog. So I got up to let the dog outside & went to the futon to lay down.

I’m not sure who won the Kung Fu match because there’s only one baby in me.

13 Comments

UPDATE: I have new entertainment report on ROYTERS. So go check it out now. The CUNT has spoken.

————————————————————————————–

I try to avoid big family reunions/gatherings like Amy Winehouse avoids rehab. I don’t like big crowds. I do like the open bar. You can’t have a big Irish Catholic reunion/gathering without open bar, but I’m not at the pregnancy stage yet that I can start downing the Jameson again.

Last week my Daddy’s mother turned 90 years old. So they, the too many to count siblings of my Daddy, had organized a big celebration in Florida for the birthday. I didn’t go because it interfered with some important shit at work that I couldn’t miss. My Little Brother also didn’t go, because he didn’t want to deal with all the people that he doesn’t know. You see we didn’t grow up in the two areas that they lived. The extended family is spilt between those two places. Even though we visited them every summer, we don’t know our cousins or aunts or uncles. To tell you the truth, I don’t care to know them that much. They’ve never been that welcoming. My second cousin in Ireland that I only saw once were more frienly & open than my aunts/uncles/first cousins. They are jerky & not interesting. The saddest thing is that my Daddy has absolutely nothing in common with any of his siblings. Even his Irish Twin brother that had married my Ma’s sister, he has nothing in common with. Yes two brothers married two sisters. One of them got a divorce. Nice! I will say they are all funny as shit. Most of them have those sparkling blue eyes & wit that keeps you laughing.

Anyway, my two older siblings & their children & spouses all went as did my Daddy & Ma. Everyone had a good time.

I’m glad the booze kept flowing & my tiny 90 pound grandmother & great aunt got sloppily drunk too.

I was thinking about what bugs me the most when I was getting the updated news on the entire family, that they need original names.

There are:

3 Marys

3 Patricks (Pat)

2 Josephs (Joe/Joey)

2 Teresas

2 Mary Katherines

That’s all I can think of right now, but I think there are more.

To get off of family, I saw this thing about an 80 year old Las Vegas stripper since my grandmother just turned 90 here’s Tempest Storm back in the day:

14 Comments

First AngryGinger has a new post up

………………………………………………………

Daddy Tales

So long time readers of my old blog have heard of some of the adventures of my Daddy who doesn’t like to wear clothes. I’m too lazy to find those old posts so I’ll paraphrase the other occasions.

In many ways I’m like him. He doesn’t like to wear clothes. This is one of the ways. Sara Sue loves these tales & has requested photos on several occasions, but that’s just sick. I’m not getting near him with a camera.

Run Real Fast:

My Daddy is also an early morning person. So he gets the morning newspaper in the driveway around 4 or 4:30 am. It was one morning that my Ma happened to be up that early & saw him naked coming back into the house with the newspaper in hand. She was shocked that he would walk outside down the driveway in a typical suburban neighborhood where neighbors could easily see you. My Daddy replied to her “I run real fast.”

Cold Naked Mountain Vacation:

There was also the time my folks went to a mountain cabin for a long weekend. They got locked out late at night in the cool crisp mountain air. So guess who was naked & freezing to death outside. That’s right my Daddy. So the car was unlocked my Ma told him to get in their while she found a way back in. She found a ladder and was able to open the small kitchen window. So this 60 something year old woman who was never an athlete who’s life long goal was to be “pale & interesting” was able to crawl through that window without breaking any of her bones. (Side Note: When my Ma was little girl, she didn’t like drinking milk. Her mother tried to convince to drink it. She said to her, “Don’t you want to be big & strong?” My Ma replied, “No, I want to be pale & interesting.”)

Teenage Girls in the Kitchen:

So when my Little Brother was in highschool, my folks’ house became the hang out house for LB’s friends. So when I would come back from college there would teenagers all over the place. You never knew when they would pop up. So it was about 2 am, & my Daddy got up to get a glass of water. He sleeps naked. See I told you I have a lot of his traits. So my Daddy was refilling the Brita Filter still half sleep when three teenage girls walked into the kitchen shrieked at the naked old man & ran off. My Daddy didn’t notice any of it in his half sleep stage. It wasn’t until LB told my Ma & Daddy in the morning about the shrieking girls that he knew that happened. He said, “I’m not old.”

Naked Pond Cleaning:

So I was talking to my Ma & I made a joke about Daddy getting the newspaper naked. She said, “That’s not the worse thing.”

I was afraid to ask what could be worse.

She continued, “He cleans the pond naked early in the morning too.”

See my folks have two ponds one small one in the front yard & one big one in the backyard. I decided not to ask if he was cleaning the front one naked too. There are just some things that should remain unknown. I know he runs every morning, I just hope he wears clothes running down the street.

15 Comments

Royters:

Go check out my new Royters piece. I have an exclusive on the A-Rod divorce.

Cunt House:

I don’t think I mentioned it, but the sellers of the house accepted our counter offer & the inspections are scheduled for Wednesday. YAY! There will be room for my porn, sex swings, & stripper pole.

Pregnancy Pilates:

Kicks my ass!

The Adventures of Candy McBitichie & Trashy BFF continues:

12 Comments