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Dear Kitty
I know this is a bit hard to believe, but I'm you. An older, more cynical, more experienced you, writing to you as an exercise in blogging. I know you don't know what blogging is, but you will one day - more of that later.
At the moment you are in your second year at Grammar School - I know you didn't really enjoy it when you first got there, but it's getting better, and will continue to improve. You view school as a social club, and whilst there's nothing wrong with that, or your having fun with your friends, you could maybe work a bit harder at your lessons? You do have the ability, and will eventually do well, but it would save some retakes (and your dad's temper) if you applied yourself a bit more at your first attempt at the exams. It's ok to enjoy the art, needlework and English lessons, but it won't kill you to stop giving Miss P a hard time in History. The cheeky backchat you give Miss B in Latin is uncalled for. You're quite right that the sentence 'Flavia est puella parva' won't be especially useful in life, but Miss B is only trying to do her job. It's not really big or clever to use her to amuse your peers, so perhaps think about stopping that, ok?
You'll want to get out of school at the earliest opportunity, but your parents will want you to do some sort of further education. You'll succumb to their pressure and go to college to do a secretarial course - whilst secretarial work will bore you rigid, your years at college will be brilliant - make sure you enjoy them to the full.
Which brings me to your social life. Let's face it, you are a social animal - always were and always will be. Your love of people will never leave you (or at least hasn't yet) and you will find some of your happiest times in relating to and with others. Relationships: I'm not going to tell you not to enter into them, but being forewarned might be a good thing? Your first boyfriend will be a typewriter repair man you meet at college - you'll have a great time, but are both too young for it to be anything permanent. At 19 you will fall in love - big time. Such is the chemistry you'll feel, no amount of me warning you off will stop you having that relationship, but take care of yourself. You'll experience much happiness, but the end is both inevitable and messy. Don't make the mistake of believing he is the only one you will ever love so much it hurts - he's not.
At 21 life will get tough. You will, unfortunately, become ill. Not just a little bit ill but very ill. You will see numerous doctors, try various treatments and vacillate between hopelessness and a forced optimism in the hope that a positive attitude might help. I'm not sure anything I say here will help you much, but please know you WILL get much better eventually. Nevertheless your 20s will be largely lost to pain, exhaustion, fear, frustration and loneliness. Your friends will be busy living the lives that people in their 20s live but you will keep in touch with some. They are still in your life now. You will lose yourself in reading more books and listening to more music than you ever thought possible; but they are both wonderful pastimes and ones you will continue to enjoy forever more.
As you slowly get stronger you will do some interesting things - act as secretary for an author amongst them. You know you've always been interested in astrology? Well, you will finally do that astrology course you always promised yourself. You will be motivated and work hard, and achieve your Certificate and Diploma. It will turn out to be a practical knowledge to have in life, and will continue to interest you up until this present time, and I'm sure, beyond.
Cherish your family - I know you do anyway, but things don't turn out as you might think. You are something of a 'daddy's girl' - you go to football and cricket with your dad, have the same sense of humour as your dad, love debating with your dad. Your dad won't be around for as long as you (or everyone else) would like, so enjoy him. Really enjoy him. Your mum is your mum - look after her. Her creativity will amaze you, her generosity will help you, her support will astonish you. You'll get on better with your brother as you get older. Yep, I know that's hard to believe - at the moment you fight like cat and dog, but eventually you'll be able to be in the same room as one another without a war breaking out. Oh and by the way, when you're about 15 you'll have a fight with him in which you pull the dining room door closed to stop him kicking you. Keep hold of that door handle with all your strength - he'll put his foot right through the door, and the floorshow when your parents get home and see the result (and the memory of it) will amuse you for years afterwards.
In your late 20s you will meet the man who is to be the father of your children. At the time of writing I cannot be objective about this man as we struggle to relate to each other in anything approaching a meaningful way. I can't advise you not to have that relationship, because without it you wouldn't have the wonderful kids you end up having. But be careful: Don't forget who and what you are, what you believe in, how you want to 'be' in life. It's your life and you have a right to be yourself - it's not wrong to want that. We each have the luxury of choices to make in life - for a while you might forget that, but eventually you will remember. I can't say how this situation will end, because it hasn't ended yet. The relationship ends, I know that, and whilst I hope you two will be friends one day (for the sake of your children if nothing else) for the time being both your head and your life are a mess because of it.
There's one more thing I want to tell you about - it's called The Internet. You don't know about it yet, but you will, everyone will. For a person like you, who loves people and how they communicate with one another, it is a wonderful gift. It will provide you with opportunities to relate to many more people than you could imagine. You will get to learn about computers and word processing whilst you're working as a secretary, but that's just the beginning. Later on, you will get a laptop (that's a 'portable computer') called Tallulah, and from there you won't look back. You will, after watching a programme called 'Big Brother', discover the forums of a place called Digital Spy, and through those forums become friends with people who will become very important to you and your life. Via the internet you'll learn an enormous amount, and - just as in life - you will form enduring friendships which support and sustain you through difficult times. You will also use the internet to start a blog - it's a bit like that diary you keep now, only instead of 'I saw Keith this morning - he winked at me', you'll write about anything and everything - and, believe it or not, people will read it (and what's more, you'll want them to)!
Be strong, be brave, be yourself and never give up hope.
Love, Kitty x
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Again, opinions and ideas here are solely those of the writer and not of Third Option Media. Contact the writer if you are interested in discussing this article