More Watchmen

I am Malach once again with the good stuff.

HOLEEEE FRACK!

I just wet myself
Cause Palmer showed me this:

I am going to go masturbate now

I am Malach, and that was SERIOUSLY on Balls.

In Case You Needed Motivation...

WATCH YOUR ASS!

World War II in a Nutshell

noooo, THIS is the best thing ever!

Man o Man, I want to wrestle with this broad!

HELL YEAH!

Go Speed Racer GO!

I am Malach and this is about as "on balls" as it gets.

Jesus vs. Elliot Spitzer

Spitzer sued big companies who caused acid rain in New York. Jesus healed lepers. Because leprosy is no longer relevant, Point Spitzer.

Spitzer and Jesus - both jews. Push.

Jesus was a blue collar carpenter. Spitzer got an almost perfect score on his SAT's and graduated from Princeton and Harvard. Point Spitzer.

Spitzer pissed off crime families. Jesus pissed off the Romans. It would legitimately suck to have either angry with you, but the Romans are hardcore, so Point Jesus.

Spitzer was Attorney General and then elected Governor in a Landslide. Jesus was the unofficial king of the Jews and rumored to be the son of god. hmmm... I think since I know for a FACT that Spitzer really WAS attorney general and Governor, he gets the Point.

Spitzer used state funds to investigate a political rival. Jesus turned water into wine. Hands down, Jesus gets the Point.

Spitzer loves whores so much it was his downfall. Jesus hung out with that Mary Magdelene chick, who was an ex-whore, but the bible never mentioned any sexual activity. This is unegotiably Point Spitzer.

Spitzer's wife stood by him despite his indiscretions. Jesus' homies pretended not to even know him. What a bunch of assholes. Point Spitzer.

Spitzer-5
Jesus-2

I'm still not praying to either.

Anyone up for some techno?

I thought of this at 4:00 AM last
night and I just had to make it.

What can I say?

It's been a slow week at the office.

Corey... this is for you, man.

Well, that pretty much sums

up my college roommate.

Digital Restoration of aging art

Last night I gave a short talk at my masonic lodge about the potential benefits of using digital restoration for some of the wonderful paintings inside historic Trinity Lodge.

These are but a few rough example of what is ultimately possible using digital photo enhancement (let alone complete physical cleaning and restoration of the paintings themselves.)

Using such techniques, it can become possible for us to see features previously hidden by years upon years of aging and exposure.

• Here is a BEFORE & AFTER image of the George Washington portrait hanging in our lodge room. Please note the rich colors of his Masonic apron, the gold leaf "G" with square and compasses on the chair behind him, the color of his Bible and even the faint hint of blue in his eyes!

• In the King Edward VII BEFORE & AFTER image, notice the amazing woodwork detail on the table, the various colors in his medals, and the fact that he is clearly holding a place in the book he has in his right hand (which I assume is the bible.) There also appears to be some detail to the carpet and a shimmering shine upon his shoes!

Once I have better source images to work with, I can show far more color and detail as was originally present in these beautiful portraits. I will also be examining some of the other works throughout the lodge. I have a professional photographer coming in to the lodge to take some super high resolution images (which will be shot at a better angle as well.)

Once I have a decent collection of before and after images, I will post them up on Trinity Lodge's web site.

Cap'n Flak's Digital Art

It's been a long time since I shared with my fellow WoWees the latest additions to my digital art gallery.

You can click here to see the complete gallery.

Check out The Mist series, Hammer of The Gods, The Sword In The Stone, Pale Rider and many more!

BREAKING WoW NEWS!

EVEL KNIEVEL DEAD AT 69 YEARD OLD
Legenday stuntman practically invented "being on balls!"

Evel Knievel, the motorcycle daredevil whose stunts -- including an attempted leap over Idaho's Snake River Canyon and his insane taste for hideous 70's fashion -- made him a popular cultural figure, is dead, according to his Web site, evelknievel.com. He was 69 and loving it.

Over his career, Knievel was said to have broken practically every bone in his body -- some multiple times.

With his red-white-and-blue jumpsuits, abnormally large shirt collars, shock of hair and stone-faced mein, he was a fixture on ABC's program "Wide World of Sports" in the 1970s, his stunts perennial ratings-grabbers.

Knievel's most famous stunt was probably an attempt to jump the quarter-mile wide Snake River Canyon in 1974 on his rocket-powered "Sky-Cycle." (He had hoped to jump the Grand Canyon, but couldn't get permission.) The attempt failed, but the publicity was priceless.

His fame even spawned a movie, "Viva Knievel!" in 1977.

Robert Craig Knievel was born October 17, 1938, in Butte, Montana.

Earlier this week, Knievel amicably settled a lawsuit with rap star Kanye West over West's use of a persona called "Evel Kanyevel" in his video for "Touch the Sky."

"I was very satisfied and so was he," Knievel told The Associated Press while eating broken glass and drinking gasoline... LEADED GASOLINE. "Now, I am planning something really big. I'm going to take the biggest jump of all: the jump to the other side, baby. You know what I mean? HELL YEAH YOU DO."

To pay their respects, friends and family are expected to jump over Kenievel's flaming casket at his funeral on Sunday.

I'll jump on the YouTube bandwagon.

If Third Option Media was hired to create a political campaign ad, it might look something like this...

WoW Presents: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

On July 20, 1969, Apollo 11 astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong landed their Lunar Module on the moon's Sea of Tranquility and became the first two humans to walk on the moon.

This unprecedented heroic endeavor was witnessed by the largest worldwide television audience in history. Buzz was presented the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor amongst over 50 other distinguished awards and medals from the United States and numerous other countries.

Since retiring from NASA, the Air Force, and his position as Commander of the Test Pilot School at Edwards Air Force Base, Dr. Aldrin has remained at the forefront of efforts to ensure a continued leading role for America in manned space exploration. He has also been active in the Freemasons, of which he is a member, past master and officer.

To advance his lifelong commitment to venturing outward in space, he founded his rocket design company, Starcraft Boosters, Inc., and the ShareSpace Foundation, a nonprofit organization devoted to opening the doors to space tourism for all people.

Buzz and his wife, Lois, live in Los Angeles. Buzz and his best friend Mario, however, live part time in a low-gravity, sub-orbital flying fun shack.

Cap'n Flak's Football Game Review

Well, for those of you that have the sincere pleasure of knowing me, you know that I am not what some would call a sports enthusiast. I won't even go into my "60-yard line" story. I can count the number of sports matches I have watched in their entirety on my... well, actually I can't because I really never have watched an entire game of any sport.

Anyway, thanks to some time well spent with Dr. Robert J. Murk (awesome), I recently started watching football, specifically the amazing, seemingly unbeatable New England Patriots. I mean, Jesus H. Christ (aka: Bill Belichick), can these guys pass that leather oblong ellipsoid around a white lined rectangle or what!?!?

Knowing more about the Jaglavak ant colonies propensity to attack termites in Cameroon than I know about the rules and regulations of football leaves me with a somewhat unique perspective on this modern day gladiator-like spectacle.

I fully admit to being dazzled, if not overwhelmed, by the mind numbing array of flashing graphics, the fact that the company I work for is an NFL sponsor and the extreme hotness of Quarter-Back Tom Brady (and if you don't think he is amazing, be you man or woman, you are either blind, retarded or dead.)

Furthermore, I admit that I don't know what the announcers are saying and I sure as hell can't decipher any of the statistical information (Brady: CMP-284, ATT-392 YRDS-3439, CMP%-72.4 OMG WTF?)

But, I do know this: the battle-like scenarios played out on those big green fields are fun to watch and, if so inclined, you can get sucked in faster than light particles entering a black hole.

I can't help but be impressed by players like Laurence Maloney?, Maroney?, Marooney?, whatever, who I watched literally shove his way through a pack of angry men, some of which are even bigger than me, to score a touchdown and put New England back into the lead, 31-28.

At one point, I switched over to FOX and watched Family Guy. I gotta tell you that is one seriously funny show. Did you see the part where Peter shows up at Meg's school and smashes the popular girl's face into a fire extinguish... wait, sorry. Back to the game.

I have to hand it to the team wearing the green uniforms. (Jets? No, EAGLES! Yeah, that's it.) They played their best and when I finally decided to go to bed (even though there was a mere 5 or 6 minutes left on the play clock thingy), I actually thought the Eagles might win!

OK, well, honestly, I figured they'd blow it. I was just being nice. You know, I even felt bad for the Eagles Stephen Gostko-something when he missed a 32-yard toss. Ouch. SUX2BU guy!

It felt weird when I woke up this morning to the sound of my 1-year old bouncing up and down on his bed while asking for his "milkies" and yet the first thought I had was "did the Pats win?" That's never happened to me before. So, I sat up, switched on NECN and I found out that, sure enough, the Pats added another victory to their record by beating the Philadelphia (?) Eagles last night at Foxboro Stadium in front of 68,000+ alcohol warmed screaming fans.

WAY TO GO, PATS!!!!

One more thing: people keep comparing the Pats to the 1972 Miami Dolphins with head coach Don Shula. When I hear that name, I can only think one thing...


...isn't that the guy in those NutriSystem commercials?

The Latest Recurring Character on The WoW!

You've seen him lurking in the back of elevators.
He may have been interviewing for your job.
We even saw him hanging around the aquarium.
Well, this is Clem and, right now, he sells latex.

You like him? No. You LOVE him.

Stay tuned for more Clem.
Only on The WoW!*


*brought to you by Third Option Media Productions!

IT'S OFFICIAL: Cloverfield is coming.

Click here to see the brand new trailer for JJ Abrams monster epic Cloverfield!

I don't know about you, but I am excited to see this movie and I have been impressed and inspired by the mysterious viral marketing produced for this movie.

Will it be as good as all the hype? Knowing JJ's past work, I have to imagine it certainly will be.

A glimmer of hope and an attempted murder.

It never ceases to amaze me how much my kids can brighten my world. After I took my oldest boy to the New England Aquarium to watch Michael dive (see the video post below), he kept telling me what a great day he had and how glad he was that I was his best friend. I swear he reminds me that there is still pure innocence and good in the world.

And, then, on my ride into work today some asshole tried to hit me and run me off the road. I mean, WTF? If you were driving down the road, would you want to hit this?

Wait. Don't answer that.

Meanwhile inside the Giant Ocean Tank...

A good friend of mine volunteers as a diver at the New England Aquarium in Boston. I took my boy to see him yesterday, and he gave us an amazing behind the scenes tour of the facility and then proceeded to put on a terrific show for us once he dove into the tank.

I made this little video as my way of thanking him for the unique experience to see a side of something I have loved since I was a child... The Giant Ocean Tank!

Don't ask. Just watch.