Malach's 08' - 09' NFL Preview

It is back once again, I know you missed it.
Malach's 08' - 09' NFL preview is brought to you today by ROYTERS New Service your place for the news you need, and Branwe, the new fiction series from Christopher Morris. It is also brought to you today by Meet The Heroes.

Before we begin, I must invoke the name of Hastur the Unspeakable; Hastur will assist Malach in his domination of his Fantasy Football League, because no one knows Fantasy Football like the King in Yellow.

Right to it now, it will be a very interesting year, let's break it down by Divisions:

AFC EAST
The AFC East should once again be dominated by the New England Patriots. While there is some improvement in the rest of the division, only the Jets with their addition of an actually quarterback will be the only other team to finish in the playoff hunt. Miami is still a major work in progress, and when a pot smoking guy whose taken a couple years off is you main offensive weapon, you know you got problems. The Bills might surprise a few teams, but they are still no more than a .500 team. Now the Jets, even with a old Brett Favre they have a major improvement at quarterback from Spaghetti arm Chad Pennington, that alone might allow them to win around 10 games, but Favre has never played smashmouth style AFC Football, and he will probably toss a number of interceptions. As for the Patriots, they also have some issues. The loss of Asante Samuel will hurt, but the pickup of Deltha O'Neil will give them a playmaker they are sorely lacking in the secondary. The part that concerns me most is their O-Line, which has some major injuries to starters. Returning are Sammy Morris and the addition of Lamont Jordan should help with that though. The Patriots also have an every easy schedule. The final standings?
NE: 12 - 4
NYJ: 10 - 6
BUFF: 8 - 8
MIA: 6 - 10

AFC NORTH
Very interesting division with a number of teams that could challenge or fall flat. Pittsburgh is the cream of the crop in the division, not a ton of changes there, and Rothlisberger is now a season removed from that Hell Ride he had; and has become one of the best QB's in the league behind Brady and Manning. Hines Ward, though older is still a very good wide receiver, and Pitt has not lost really anything that important on a pretty impressive offence last year. Their defense as always will be tough and very physical. Cleveland is very interesting. I am not convinced Derek Andsersen is a long term answer for the Browns at QB, and I wonder how long before Brady Quinn begins to take the reins of this team. Look for a high flying attack like last year, and a slight stiffer defense. The Bengals, the NFL's Prison Team: again no defense, they will be in shoot outs the entire season, and until they get rid of Marvin Lewis, the won't go much farther than the first round of the playoffs. The Ravens? Their defense will keep them in most games, but with a new young QB, and age really starting to show, this could be a lost season for them.
PITT: 11 - 5
CLE: 10 - 6
CIN: 8 - 8
BAL: 7 - 9

AFC SOUTH
After the Colts, there is a real drop off in talent in this division. Indy might end up the best team in the AFC this year. Like Brady, Manning is coming off a strange injury, and they might start with a few hiccups. the loss of Jeff Saturday could be big at first, but the Colts should survive and take this division by a few games. Jacksonville is a bit of a puzzle. They have major O-Line issues, and with the way their offense runs, that could be very dangerous. They also couple of key losses on defense, but should still have the physical stingy defense of past seasons. It will also be interesting if they use shooting of Richard Collier as a rallying point. After that we have Houston and Tennessee. The Titans should take another step forward, and this is the time for Vince Young to make another leap. They are still the team no one likes to play, but they have to translate that into wins. Houston on the other hand, well it's Houston.
IND: 13 - 3
JAC: 10 - 6
TEN: 9 - 7
HOU: 3 - 13

AFC WEST
San Diego is the darling of the media right now, and addition last year of Chambers actual gave them a viable Wide Receiver, but I am not convinced. Yes, they will probably take the division a particularly weak division, but Phillip Rivers is the guy that would concern me, I am still not convinced. Addition Shawn Merriman is and idiot for trying to play on the injuries he has. As for the rest of the division, Denver is the only other team, and they only have a very slight chance to make the playoffs. KC might be the worst team in football, and the Raiders, the Raiders have a good defense, and that is it.
SD: 11 - 5
DEN: 9 - 7
OAK: 7 - 9
KC: 2 - 14

NFC EAST
This is gonna be fun to watch, you have 4 teams, all who are pretty good, all who could contend. Dallas is still the team to beat, even with the Giants Superbowl win. They have the most talent, and I hate to say this, Romo could turn into a elite level QB this year. Overall very talented team, with no real weaknesses beyond the head coach. Malach does predict that Wade Phillips won't be back next year, and depending on preformance might get fired halfway through. Dallas has a huge advantage playing in the weak NFC but they are hurt by playing in the toughest division in football. The Giants. It will be interesting to see if they can come off their Super Bowl win with out a let down. Eli Manning is still a questionmark, he needs to improve his interceptions for the Giants to come close sniffing the division title. Defense again should be very tough up front, and they should at least on paper challenge Dallas for the division. Philly is should be ready to resurface and win a number of games this year. McNabb finally seems to be healthy and Brian Westbrook has turned into a elite runnning back. There is still a lot of question of who the hell McNabb will be throwing too though. Unlike much of the rest of the NFL, Philly has a very good secondary, and a more questionable D-line, LB package. And finally we get the Redskins. Someone has to come in last in the division and Washington is the most likely, though they steadily improved last year. I like Jason Campbell, but he needs to turn the corner this year.
DAL: 11 - 5
NYG: 11 - 5
PHI: 10 - 6
WAS: 9 - 7

NFC NORTH
Wow, what a mediocre division . . . there is no impressive team, nor really bad team. Mediocrity. Yuck, I don't even have anything smart to say about it. Well maybe I do, the division winner probably won't deserve to make the playoffs.
DET: 9 - 7
MIN: 9 - 7
CHI: 8 - 8
GB: 7 - 9

NFC SOUTH
The Saints are easily the best team in this division and since Gustav did not blow away the Superdome they have a home field. The Saint's issue is defense, they will get into a lot of shootouts, most of them they will win. Beyond that Tampa Bay might put up a little stink, Carolina still doesn't have a QB, and the Falcons? I kind of fell bad for Matt Ryan, he gonna take a beating this year (yes, he will be the start by mid season).
NO: 11 - 5
TB: 9 - 7
CAR: 7 - 9
ATL: 3 - 13

NFC WEST
Like the South, Seattle is best team here, and should have no issue taking the division, beyond the Seahawks, you have a mediocre and old Rams team; a Cardinals team unwilling to turn the team over to Matt Leinart, but with some real talent; and 49ers team, the should be up and coming but still a few players away from making real noise.
SEA: 11 - 5
STL: 9 - 7
ARI: 8 - 8
SF: 6 - 10

As for a Superbowl winner, I gotta go with a pissed off Pats. Sorry rest of the world.

I am Malach, and I am usually right one on this preview.

Happy Birthday Dr. Murk

And yes, some presents . .






I will have more for you on my blog tonight

I am Malach, and you got to love the internet's ability to embarass celebrities!

Save some money, save the environment

Many of you know . . .
Malach, back in April began changing all the bulbs in his home to compact flourescent, eventually getting as much of his 2000 square foot house as he could (about 96%) with those bulbs (Wal*Mart has good deals on this, 3 packs for $10). So, I was updating how much less energy I was using, and money I was saving, but I haven't done that in a while, so here it goes.

Last year from the billing period of April 06 - September 06, my house used 5335 KWH costing $578.21. This same period from 2007: 4732 KWH, costing $512.85 saving $65.36 and 603 KWH. This also considers we had a hot summer this year, and I ran my central air for a longer period of time than I normally would. Also, I did not have a full complement of energy saving bulbs until the first week of June, so some of this is a little skewed. Still extrapolate it out for a year comes to approximately $130. Now, I spent this on bulbs, but the bulbs are guaranteed for 5 years . . .

The winter will be interesting as my heating system burns more electricity than gas. I will keep you updated.

You heard it here first
Patriots 38 Colts 24

What the Hell has happened to Red Sox Nation?

But first.
The first rule of Waffle House Fight Club is talk about Waffle House Fight Club with everyone you know, the more media the better.

And something to intensify Palmer's Phobias.

The Pink Hats
This is not the Red Sox Team I grew up with. This is not my father's Red Sox Team. This is not my Grandfather's Red Sox Team (who never experienced a championship in his 70+ year life). This is not the same Red Sox Nation, the fatalistic, Curse of the Bambino, their killin' my summah whiners. Where have they gone? They have been replaced by pink hatted blonde bomb shell (who fit better in those old Fenway Seats anyway).

Gone are the suicides after a errror to lose a game on a stupid or 10th inning homer. Gone is the live every game like it's the last game of the World Series attitude. Gone are the riots after a big win that kills someone in the streets of Boston. Look at J. D. Drew. He comes here we are expecting big things, he has the worst season of his life, yet, he still lives. This would not have happened prior to 2004. What's this, good pitching? Gone are the days of big sluggers on mediocre relief or "closer by committee".

What happened to the Curse? Well evidently the Yankees now have it, and by some of the things that happened in yesterday's game, so is Cleveland (CLEVELAND ROCKS, CLEVELAND ROCKS). Have you ever seen Drew Carey cry.

We no longer fear the Yankees, we no longer feel we are going to give it away with 1 out and 1 strike away from a Championship.

I kind of like it.

And to make things even more surreal, the Patriots have become almost obscene, I actually felt bad for their competition for the first time ever. Is it possible that the Sox win the Series, Pats win the Superbowl, Celtics win the Title, the lowly Bruins win the Cup, and BOSTON COLLEGE WINS A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP all within a year of each other.

The Pats won their first the year my son was born, The Pats and Sox won in 2004, the year my daughter was born, well, got no kids on the way this year, that I know of . . .

I am Malach and I am cured.

Man-gina, the Pope, and other nonsense

What did Malach tell you.
As Camera-gate broke this weekend in the NFL, Malach told you a few things.

1. The Patriots were not the only team doing this
2. Mangini with his snitch gave this team the inspiration it always seeks.
3. Their might be some reprisal on Mangini from other members of the coaching franternity for breaking a code of silence.

So, point 1, several highly regarded former and current coaches and players came out this week to corroborate the point. Howie Long, John Madden, Jimmy Johnson, Mike Martz, Bill Cowher, Sean Salibury, and several others.

Point 2 I think was proven by Sunday Night's Game and the Pats absolutely dismantling of the Chargers

Now point 3. Check out this article. Brian Billick, the head coach of the Ravens is asking the league to investigate the Jets, for simulating snap counts with theird defense, while their offense was on the field. Technically, it is illegal, against the rules, but ask anyone who's played the game, it happend quite a bit during the season. Is this a message to Mangini for breaking this coaches code?

Most coaches, have already stated that if they knew this was going on, they would just try to fool the camera, was Mangini just not smart enough to do this? Also, has Mangini cut his own throat? Suppose the Jets win on 5 games this year and Mangini is fired. He will have to go back to being a coordinator . . . who in their right mind would hire him after this fiasco.

Da Pope
Guess whose back! I also fixed our blog directory for ease of the fans we have. Some of you may remember the Pope's old blog, funny as Heaven.

It's back
Yeah, The Murk and Malach Show is back. The buckos are happy again, so much so we have had a few people contact us about being guest stars. Currently negotiating with Ben Byrd, who would like to clear his name.

And Some May Enjoy This

I am Malach and I am an internet person

So you think you can play softball part II

Let Malach teach you how

I am Malach the best thing to softball since sliced bread

So you think you can play softball?

For the Local Buckos of the Greater New Bedford Area
Sandlot Softball and RubberSuit Studios is presenting a slow pitch softball tournament fundraiser to benefit MA Special Olympics.

WHEN: Saturday September 22nd and Sunday September 23rd, and possibly September 29th and 30th as well. Rain Dates: 29th and 30th.

WHO: Any group of men (18+) that consider themselves a softball team.

WHERE: Cushman Park in Fairhaven (parking via Main St. and Green St.)

HOW TO ENTER: Mail completed registration form along with the entry fee to Darren Fleurent @ 1030 Shelburne St. New Bedford, MA. 02745 (Registration forms are located here)

• Registration is due Friday Sept. 14th. Tentative Schedules will then be mailed to the team captain on Monday Sept. 17th.
• Entry Fee is $20.00 per player. As team captain please collect this money from your team and get a money order or make out a check payable to SOMA – Greater New Bedford. Please do not mail cash in case of the mail getting lost. (if you risk mailing money we are not responsible if it is lost in the mail)
• Teams can register day of tournament, however, entry fee for teams day of will be $25.00 per player.
• Teams must have 10 players registered via preregistration. Teams that preregister may register additional players (up to 5 additional) on the day of the tournament @ $20.00 per player.
• You may also register as a individual player and we will put you on a team.

AWARDS: TBD. Remember that this tournament is all about having fun, pride, and raising money for Special Olympics. But we’ll see what we can do for awards.

TOURNAMENT RULES

1. Wooden SOFTBALL bats will be used, if you are in need of wooden softball bats for this tournament please order them. They can be found at http://www.directsports.com/, click on the “slow pitch bat” link on the left and scroll all the way down. Bats are VERY reasonably priced at $19.95 per bat. Order them at least one week in advance to ensure they arrive in time. We recommend ordering at least 2 bats of different sizes to give your team options. ($5.00 per player will buy 2 or 3 bats).
2. There will be no umpires. The catcher calls balls and strikes. Any pitch that hits the mat or plate is a strike. The 1st base coach makes the safe/out calls at 1st base and homeplate. The 3rd base coach makes the safe/out calls at 2nd and 3rd base.
3. There is a 6 – 12 foot arch rule. This will be monitored by the scorekeepers.
4. Steel cleats will not be allowed.
5. There will be no infield or batting practice prior to games.
6. Teams can start with 9 players. Catchers WILL NOT be provided by the opposing team if there are only 9 players to start.
7. The home team shall be determined by a pregame coin flip.
8. A volunteer will be the official scorekeeper for each game.
9. Each game will run 7 innings. There MAY be a time limit in forced to ensure all games are played. If so, games will not last any longer than 1 hour and 15 minutes. No inning shall start after the 1 hour mark unless the game is tied.
10. A 10 run mercy rule after 5 innings and a 15 run mercy rule after 4 innings will be in effect for all games.
11. All batters will start with a 1 ball and 1 strike count (no extra foul balls).
12. Absolutely no refunds shall be made under any circumstances – unless the tournament is cancelled completely. In that event, checks will be mailed to the team captain with 10 days of cancellation.

Rules are a combination of Special Olympics Unified rules and Sandlot Softball Rules

ABOUT GREATER NEW BEDFORD SPECIAL OLYMPICS

Thank you so much for your participation in this softball tournament fundraiser. The Greater New Bedford Special Olympics Program is always grateful for community involvement in fundraising. The Greater New Bedford Special Olympics Program has been in existence for over 20 years. The approximately 175 athletes and coaches compete in a variety of sports activities all year round.

Athletes in the Greater New Bedford area currently participates in 5 different sports including: Ten Pin Bowling, Basketball, Track & Field, Swimming, and Softball. This year we look forward to possibly adding two more sports to the mix: Volleyball and Soccer. Each year it costs over $10,000.00 just to provide the bare minimum of transportation and tournament fees to our athletes. All of which we as a local program are responsible for raising. Extras such as uniforms and sports equipment are often not purchased due to lack of funds.

The program primarily consists of adults with intellectual and physical disabilities. Most of the athletes live either independently or in a group home situation with little to no family involvement. Fund raising can be a difficult and daunting prospect; and for most of our athletes, asking them to pay their own fees or for their own uniforms is an impossibility. That is why this tournament is so important. Hopefully it will be a fun way to raise funds for a very worthwhile cause. Thank you again for your participation!

Malach and two of Malach's teams will be there, The Kombucha Mushroom People, and my SO Unfied Team, The New Beford Rangers. Hope to see you there.

Additionally, since many of you don't live in the area, or don't want to participate in a Softball tournament, I have set up a KMP Team donation button for you, all proceed will go to Special Olympics from the KMP team, click button in side bar.

EDIT: There is a page on my site with all the information including contact info. It is located here.

I am Malach and be a good neighbor

A little image to make all those Red Sox Nation WoWees jealous.

Yeah, that's Malach

On the mound at Fenway just prior to the 6/30 game, and just prior to meeting Josh Beckett out there.

My buddy Darren is also in the background out in the short stop position, if you want to read the entire story, go here.

I am Malach the greatest thing to softball since sliced bread.

Go Green MuthaFuggers!

Compact Flurescent Lights.
Since April, Malach has been gradually replacing all the lights in his home, with compact flourescent lights, both the spiral kind and the globe kind. Yes, they are way more expensive that regular light bulbs, but Wal-Mart has a pretty good deal on them. Three packs for $8 - 9, plus they have a 5 year warranty, and claim to save you up to $40 a year a bulb in costs, in addition reducing your home pollution signature. At this point I have all but 6 lights replaced, the issue I am have with the ones not replaced in finding bulbs that fit inside the fixture.

So, now I can compare my electricy expenditures. Comparing April of '06 to April of '07 there is a difference of 72KWH and May of '06 to May of '07 a differnce of 44 KWH. So for the period of April-May from past 2 years I have saved 116KWH. That is a saving's of almost $14 for that 2 month period. That extrapolated out over the year is almost $84. Now, this is only a 2 month period and I do have some caveats to this. First I live in New England, and my heat expends more electricity than it does gas, so in early spring, I might be using more heat (Example my entire winter of gas expenses was only $720, but my electricity was close to $1300, and yes NStar is a bit over priced, but there is no other option) which is the main difference between April of last year and April of '07. I also have central air, which I rarely use so my electricty somtimes goes up in August. My house has also recently had the windows, roof, siding, and insulation done (2005). Finally, I have been slowly buying the bulbs, basically 1 package per week, so at this point in June, my light bulb project is 95% complete, where in April and May it was anywhere from 0 to 90% complete. I will keep you updated on how this goes, but so far, so good.

Some Plugs.
First, after a ton of requests, and broken links in various softball forums, I have reposted Malach's Slow Pitch Softball Primer here at Third Option Media (TOM). It is located here. I am in the process of redesigning TOM, so there will be a live link there sooner or later.

Also Malach has a new Zazzle Store. He will be putting together some Wand of Wonder products also. In addition you might not be able to see all of Malach products as some are rated PG13 and R and you must register and verify your age to see them.

I am Malach and the Angry Piper is sexy in a lace kilt.

The Curse of Len Bias

The Celtics are Cursed.
I am totally convinced, with his dying breath, Len Bias cursed the Boston Celtics. Bias was supposed to be the savior of this franchise, a guy that would extened Larry Bird and Kevin McChale's career. A player that was compared with Micheal Jordan. Of course he died from a cocaine overdose 48 hours after being drafted in 1986. The year before they won their last Championship, one of 16 won over the course of 30 years.

After Bias's death, the Celtics competed for a few more years, winning divisions, but would never regain their glory. Then in 1993 Reggie Lewis suddenly passed away. And it all really started to go down hill. From 94 - 2001 they only made the playoffs once. And in the past 7 years, they went to the Conference finals, but got worse every year since then.

The Old Boston Garden, and all it's little leprechans are gone, we had to sit through the fiasco of the Rick Pitino years, the ML Carr years. In 1997, they had the best chance at winning the NBA's draft lottery. Their odds were augmented even further by a 1996 with Dallas in exchange for the Mavericks 1st round pick in 1997 which gave the Celtics a second lottery pick and more chances to win the coveted first pick. Additionally, one of the odds-on favorites to win the lottery would have been the Vancouver Grizzlies, a recent expansion team. The Grizzlies, however, were ineligible for the first overall pick as part of their terms of entering the league. Even with all the odds in their favor, the San Antonio Spurs won the lottery and selected Tim Duncan first overall in the 1997 NBA Draft, who would go on to lead his team to three championships.

And then some of the picks they traded, the old Celtics they never did this: Chauncey Billups, Joe Johnson, Ron Mercer, Kenny Anderson; imagine a Celtics teams with Johnson, Pierce, Jefferson, Billups, and Tim Duncan. I suppose were lucky Pierce is not dead after getting stabbed 11 times 2000, in which he came close to death.

And now this draft fiasco. . . .

I am Malach and Lucky is no longer lucky and a little adivce, watch for a brawl in tonight's Yankees/Sox game after another dirty play by A-Rod.

Go, Go Jerry Go, Go, Go, Jerry Be Good!

Why Jerry Remy is the best color annoucer in the world.
This was in between yesterday's double headers. Remy and Don Orsillo announcing.

I am Malach and I am a RemDawg fanatic!

The new Shroud of Turin?

Curt Schilling's Bloody SockIs it blood? Is it Paint? Is it Dye? Don't you love "mysteries".

I am Malach, and yes Virginia it is blood.

What the Hell is Red Sox Nation

As promised.
It is hard to explain Red Sox fanaticism to someone out of the area. Yes, their are fanatical fans out there, some of them come to mind: The Fans of the Raiders, the Fans of the Red Skins, any fan of a Philedelphia team . . . but being a member of Red Sox Nation is something different.

I am trying to get is classified as a mental illness. Red Sox fans are so fanatical, that is all they ever talk about . . . Football season, basketball, hockey, it is all about the Red Sox. You live and die with every games, every inning, every pitch. Game one has as much importance as game 7 of the World Series. If they lose your depressed, if they win, your higher than a kite. Red Sox fans have this fatalistic attitude (even with the 2004 win), and take each win and lose to an extreme. You want to hear it? Go to WEEI.com and listen live to the callers and show hosts, they are all insane.

How did this happen? Why just this team? Boston is a Baseball town. The Red Sox are the oldest team in New England, they won the world series 5 times since their 1901 inception and 4 times between 1912 and 1918, including back to back in '15 and '16. Red Sox Nation was on top of the world . . and then the whole Babe Ruth incident happened. The rest they say is history. Not only did they not win a title until the 2004 season, they lost it is improbable ways. Johnny Pesky's throw in 1946, in 1967 you had perhaps one of the best baseball teams in history, only to lose, the Bucky f'n Dent, Billy f'n Buckner, one strike away in 1986, and Aaron f'n Boone. When not getting a shot at the series, they continually finished second to the Yankees.

We have developed this complex . . it is Bi-Polar and psychotic in nature. It can be scary, sad, and funny.

How do you know you are a member of Red Sox Nation? If you answer yes to anyone of these questions below, seek some professional help.

1. Do you wonder what Terry Francona will do with with his long reliever during the middle of a Patriots Super Bowl?
2. Have you ever contemplated taking your own life after a heartbreaking loss in the first two months of the season?
3. Do you find yourself yelling at the TV, more specifically Red Sox managers?
4. Do you expect the Red Sox to lose every game once they go down by one run?
5. Do you skip appointments and miss family reunions to watch the game?
6. Do you juggle your schedule around the game?
7. Is Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond you favorite song?
8. Do you chant "Yankees Suck" when they actually don't suck? At other sporting events including little league? At concerts? Out your car window?
9. Is Fever Pitch your favorite movie? Or does the movie describe you life?
10. Do you take out a mortgage to renew your season tickets?

We are a little better now since the comeback against the Yankees and the big win in 2004. But that is starting to fade . . . please help us.

Ding Dong Drunkies Dead.
Boris Yeltsin . . . he kept Smirnoff in business during those lean years. RIP my Russian Pookie Bear.

I am Malach and I miss Yuri Andropov.