Dear Ron Paul supporters

Recently, your zombie-horde internet tactics resulted in a complete nullification of the already marginal usefulness of the CNBC online poll of the Republican debate. This caused a series of events that culminated in the editor feeling the need to put out an open letter to you all explaining why they felt the need to stop the madness.

He had his say, but really he only spoke for a minority. I have decided it is my duty to speak for the rest of us who have endured your stench these last few months on the internet...

Congratulations, you have successfully moved me away from ambivalence about your candidate. It used to be that I cared little for his positions but lacked any real internal combustion regarding him as a candidate. You have all changed that for not only myself but I suspect everyone else who isn’t YOU.

You have tainted the internet worse than anything possible from the best efforts of the deepest oubliettes of 4chan. You have turned sites like Digg and Wikipedia and endless lists of online discussion forums into a frothing vat of your political semen like a bukkake party the size of Manhattan.

Your endless, mindless and unimaginative boosting makes Rush Limbaugh ditto heads look like a bunch of fucking Rhodes Scholars. Your insane fanaticism is repulsive, disgusting and most of all is as a annoying as a mosquito perched happily on the small of my back joyously sucking my life blood safe in the knowledge that I can’t swat it.

So now I have gradated from mere ambivalence to outright hatred for you and your candidate.

I would rather be punched in the nuts than see your guy get elected.

I would see this country burn to ash and the soil sown with Ann Coulter’s menstrual drippings, and all the puppies and kittens roasted alive to feed the gluttonous belly of Dick Cheney than suffer one instant with your candidate sitting on the PoUS chair.

I would rather mix my own shit with broken glass and vinegar and eat it out of Rosanne Bar’s vagina while having my testicles peeled with a cheese grater than vote for your candidate.

I would rather see George W. Bush get elected for a third term than see your guy in the oval office.

Fuck you. And please for the love of God shut up already. We all hate you. We hate you. We fucking hate you.

God DAMN, but we fucking hate you.