Hey Dubya, Bail My Ass Out

With Dubya poised to bail out poorly run companies to save the US economy (sounds like Dubya's previosu business life), Malach busted out his massive brain and has a better solution. Bail my ass out. You want to prevent a long term recession (what Hell has been going on the past 4 - 5 years anyway?)? What is our piss poor economy effecting the Upper half now? So now we need to do something about it?

Malach has a better plan, BEHOLD THE POWER OF MALACH . . . what would it take to bail out Malach? About $265K. That is much less that $700billion Dubya plans on spending. So that got Malach thinking. Instead of bailing out these companies why not bail out every American? There is an estimate 304Million Americans. 25% of those Americans are under 18 that leaves 228million Americans. Give each of them $250K, that comes out to $57trillion. What would happen then? Let see, the wife and I would both get $250K, we would pay off our debt, invest a large part of it, and maybe by some investment property, and of course go on a shopping spree: right back into the system. Most Americans would pay off their mortgages or BUY HOMES (wow, that would solve another problem), pay off their debt and then go on a spending spree. How much money would be put right back into the economy? If I had no debt (I don't use credit cards, my debt basically consist of a car loan, a mortgage, and a school loan), I would be pumping money into the economy like Gary Glitter pumps his man juice . . . well you know where I am going here.

So where we gonna get this all this money? Well the government deals with pretend money they don't have anyway. Hell, if the bail out is costing $700billion, and the Iraq War has cost us $600billion, you see where I am going here? Again that money would be tossed right back into the economy . . . Hey if were are going to practice socialist capitalism, lets go all the way. How about Universal Health Care?

Oh and John McCain. Suspending your Presidential Campaign? You do realize the President has to multi-task right?

So Malach is here outside the Capital Building trying to get in there to testify about his plan, but I keep getting stopped by guys in suits. Every so often a Congreeman goes buy and I get little words for conversation like "Thuderdome" and "Master Blaster". I'm scared, and now I have to wait until Spring to be destroyed by the Large Haldron Collider . .

I am Malach, and I WANT MY $250MILLION

Good Ol Minnesota Nice

Even while living in Fla, I heard rumors of MN nice. I've been living here for almost three years now, and I have yet to see it. Now, I've experienced Minnesota passive aggressive. Or Minnesota douchebaggery, but not quite MN nice. I think it's a fucking legend, like leprechauns and straight men that shave their taint.

Anyway, I digress; today I saw this story, which made me positive Minnesota nice is a myth, and people who live here and propegate it need to seriously shut the fuck up. To recap, in case you are too much of a lazy bastard to click the link, a good samaritan stopped to help a badly injured passenger (he sounds like a decent guy, which means he's probably not from MN). While this guy was helping the injured person, two assbags steal and wreck his car.

*slow golf glap*

Awesome guys. I hope some people in our fine Minnesota jails show you some MN nice, with some ass rape action.

Terry Francona

The haters . . .
I may surprise a lot of you, but there is a vocal section of Red Sox Nation, who hate Terry Francona, think he is a bad manager, and the team wins in spite him. These are the same people who also think, they would make a better manager for the Sox with just watching the game. Malach asks these idiots, what the HELL are you watching!

Malach went to a Halloween Party this weekend, and out of the 15 guys there, there were three people who thought the above thoughts. Malach of course debated them and they could not come up with a adequate reason why they think Francona is a bad manager. They could not argue with him winning 2 World Series in 4 years, they could not argue with 8 - 0 in World Series Games, they could not argue with his post season record, or his 4 year record with the Sox. They could not give any manager in the past that they felt was better.

When question of who they would rather have as a manager, they said Joe Torre unanimously. HEY MORONS! Terry Francona is Joe Torre, only he does not burn out bullpens. I really cannot understand this thought. These are the same people who unquestioningly worship Bill Bellichick, when Francona ain't that far off from Bellichicks accomplishments . . .

These people are left over from pre-2004, Curse Era Red Sox. This in not your father, or your grandfathers Red Sox People. Wake the Hell up.

And lest we forget a great man

I am Malach, Cover me Piper . . .with your love

A Self-Negating Convenience

Americans are all about convenience. Things that never bothered us before suddenly become tiresome and unnecessary once someone invents a way to make it faster, easier, and more streamlined. There's a new product out that does just that.



Now that you've seen an ad for birth control, I will console you. Scroll down a bit to see who wrote this. It's me, guys, your friendly, non-confrontational Horacian satirist. I'm not going to get into some political discussion about how birth control was invented by Dakota Fanning in order to halt the return of Christ or how birth control is a better invention than the combustion engine. You know what to expect with me, so take two breaths and come with me.

This new birth control pill is chewable, which is so much harder than, you know, swallowing a pill. Swallowing, which is so easy your grandparents do it every day to stay alive, is just way too hard. I can see where the whole "birth control on the go" idea would technically be a revolutionary step in a birth controlled world, but there is just one little thing that keeps this from being a miracle drug.

My mother pointed something out to me. If you'll take a look at the bottom of the ad at right about 12 seconds or so, you will see the phrase that is the two hours traffic of my rant:

"Followed by a full glass of liquid."

What? Wait, you mean to tell me that this pill is chewable, but it still requires the liquid that most people use when swallowing a pill? Isn't that, like, adding unnecessary exercise to taking a pill? And they're marketing this...to Americans? It seems like they are really missing the target audience here. They've not only destroyed any hope of "convenience" with their product, but they have actually tried to add steps in their process that make it more complicated than what is already available.

So the next time you rush out to buy the next tier of ultimate convenience for what is probably hundreds of dollars more than what you are currently paying, take a step back to realize that birth control was actually made by Dakota Fanning in order to halt the return of Christ.

Wii are not amused

Harumpf.

So, months ago, what seven or eight months ago, Nintendo releases the Wii. It's an unanticipated runaway hit. It's fun, reliable, and only costs $250.

People were lined up for it and there were shortages. I, as usual, felt superior because I looked down upon those waiting in line for a game. Why not just wait a few weeks, and then you can go into any WalMart in America and buy one. Or even better, and my personal preference, just order it online from Amazon.

Well, I was wrong. You still can't find this damn console. Those Wii's get bought up wherever a few get in stock. Worse yet, scalpers buy up all they can so they can resell as an independent seller on Amazon - willing to sell you a $250 machine for $380. What a deal.

Anyway, I'm just dissapointed and wish that Nintendo (or "Nintendo of America" "NOA") would get this supply issue resolved.

And until you do, stop tormenting me with your damn commercials about a product I can't find to buy. Stop!!!

How Toyi explain the New Order

Hey this is not a statement but is the way I understand this movement.
I am not covering everything, these movement has so many plan developments that takes more than few books to cover it, I will just post some words I have on it by some Wowees requests. Informational material I had used is "En Route to world Occupation", Bible and general Knowledge.


New Order


This religion is based in the “Pantheisms”. Pantheism believes that everything that exists is part of God and God is part of everything. Pantheism believes there is no personal God, but their concept focuses deeply is a way of looking at God as a “Force” or “Energy” turning him into a “god-force” and this force flows through things on earth and all living creatures including humans and because of this energy flow… we are god or at least part of it.
This way of believing “Pantheism” supports world movements of unification because they strongly feel human unification will bring the world to its maximum level of existence.
Pantheism also teaches that we will never die but instead we will reincarnate because we are all in one with nature in a cycle. Is amazing how men fall into this misleading trap. Pantheism is based on 2 of the most big and oldest lies Satan used to make Adam & Eve fall. The serpent told them “If you eat from this tree you:
1) Will not die.
2) Will be like God.
There is no doubt that men have been trying to escape from responsibility & submission from authority since ancient times.
Believing that there is no personal God, takes responsibility away from sins & also takes away responsibility to keep a personal relationship with God, people end up believing more in what they can accomplish on their own than really accepting or admitting God’s help as Their own Creator.
Also “Occultism” comes from Pantheism, well said witches or witchcraft practitioners opposing the popular idea, they don’t believe in Satan or see themselves practicing satanic rituals; they believe all they do is manipulation of natural forces or what we called at the beginning “god-force” (Pantheism).
Pantheism is a religion of Satan, although Satanism has dragged few crowds is still not soooo well seen for the openness of total God opposition idea. Pantheism is designed to drag masses; the foundations of the New Order are “occultists”.
Some of the biggest mistake people make is calling “Occultism or Pantheism” apart from “Mysticism” or see them as different ideologies, but they are the same.
At the beginning people don’t see that they are practicing occultism, later they realize it but they are so involved that “leaving” is not under their consideration because they have developed an altered state of mind after submitting continuously to meditations and hypnosis they practice.
Occultism is seductive and addictive (more addictive than drugs) and is more dangerous after their practitioners are pushed by their own will to do it and get into this altered state of mind. I strongly believe God wanted to protect us against Occultism by setting laws around it, but if we choose to disobey his warnings is possible to break that protection and get into direct contact with dark powers to communicate with demons, these direct contact is possible through meditations that can cause altered state of minds. Some people have reached little, but some others have reached “Significant Experiences” like traveling out of their bodies, or ancestral projections or future events or contact with spiritual forces. Also some people or those who practice these meditations could find not so pleasant experiences. Why not so pleasant? Because they have developed books that give orientation to take some precautions, but the books are not completely certifying or endorsing this will completely “not happen”. These meditation practices can destroy your mind and give Satan an open door to own your body. A person profoundly hypnotized has no ability to think or repel any attack; the Hynotist can do with his/her, as he want with no problems or opposition. Satan is not stupid, he understands this matter perfectly and putting it on simple words people that practice these extensive meditations are putting themselves in great danger and they can be easily handled.
Just pay attention to what an hypnotist does, he can make people do “Whatever” he wants and these effects of Hypnotism prevail, because we have heard before that a person that has been hypnotized in the past takes a click of the hypnotist to fall again after years (that is proven). Oh well this hypnotist was friendly, he had a show about it was fun…let me say is the biggest lie calling it white magic, These practices go against God’s laws because are still part of Occultism. What appears to be good is not so good when Satan use it on his advantage. Nobody should use these meditation practices or use Occultism to achieve a “Positive goal” like New Order is doing to bring “world peace” because God’s laws forbid Occultism. Drugs and Occultism go by hand and these movements were very popular on the 60’s why they go by hand? Because drugs also produce that altered state of mind and an altered mind means easy access to evil forces, means that people expose themselves to be used, possessed and mistreated turning in pure addicts of these altered states of minds to achieve ecstasies or maintain a good level of it in their lives separating themselves from the submission and a loving relationship with their Creator.

Screw Blogger

Malach has given up on Blogger.
Why? Twice this week, I have not been able to post to blogs hosted by my site, and Blogger has been NO HELP. I should have done this years ago. Malach has a new WordPress blog, located here. My old blog, transfers to this blog (So you don't have to change you links), and the archives still remain, when Blogger is fixed, I am going to load them all into an archive folder, and link them from the new blog. As for the new blog, I am adjusting it and learning a bit of .php which I am not an expert in. So expect some slight color and image changes. My feed address remain the same, another reason why Feedburner rocks.

And Blogger, overall it was a decent 3 year relationship, but when it came down to it, you did not help when I needed you most, and after some digging, this seems to be the case with A LOT of FTP published blogs after your conversion.

I am Malach and this is a new era.

iDiots

iDiots

That's what they are, folks. People are lining up to purchase the new iPhone, which becomes available at 6 p.m. your local time.

I have a secret to tell you, iDiots: they will make more. These aren't like concert tickets where there is a limited amount of space. Apple has factories full of slave labor overseas pumping this iCrap out. You can go about your daily lives. Leave an order on Amazon. Trust me, they will deliver this to you if you hand over the cash.

I understand. You're an early adopter. You don't want to be the only one of your friends stuck with last seasons Motorola Razor. But c'mon; what's more pathetic: sitting for hours in the heat to buy one, or waiting a week or two until you can buy it at your leisure?

iDiots.

Proof That You Can Make People Pay for Something That Is Free

Have you ever seen a piece of exercise equipment that was so useless and that made users look so ridiculous that you wonder why anyone would even bother inventing it?

On today's trip through the world of Amazon, there was an item on the front page that caught my eye. Okay, it only caught my eye because it was right next to the pictures that were trying to sell me lingerie, but my eye was caught regardless.

"Noooo," I laughed to myself in disbelief as I clicked the link, "They can't be serious."

They are. They actually want to sell me a ropeless jump rope. Yes, even Mozilla's spellchecker does not believe its figurative eyes. A jump rope that isn't a rope at all? Isn't that, you know, sort of like jumping? Yes, but with this your friends will know you spent so much money in an effort to get in shape! They say that it is to prevent tripping. Chances are if you didn't learn how to jump rope as a kid without tripping or if your hand-eye coordination is so off that your brain can't process "jump!," you have bigger problems on your hands.

The product feature list goes on to talk about how portable it is. Rope isn't portable? Rope manages to make it onto every wilderness survival "must-have" list, but carrying around a few feet is just so cumbersome. Mankind has been utilizing rope to do pretty much everything for centuries, but apparently it's fallen out of fashion because it fails to be flashy and expensive.


This thing is packaged with 3 DVD workouts. 3! If I were to make a DVD of a ropeless jump rope, it would contain:
•Slow jumping
•Fast jumping
•Double Dutch (for two lazy people and their stupid friend)
•Criss-Cross (For those who don't think they look stupid enough jumping up and down waving their hands about)

The rest would be a constant shot of my middle finger. They wouldn't notice, though, because once they hear the word "fast" they will turn the DVD off in fear of breaking a sweat.

And, finally, it's patented. Someone went through the trouble of making sure no one else would be "brilliant" enough to steal their idea.

The only use I can see for a ropeless jump rope is to prevent people from hanging themselves once they find out they spent money to jump up and down.

Religious intolerance breeds hatred

Look....I'm not one to sit and preach about religion nor to protest religion. I'm not a holy roller or an uber devout anything. Being fanatical about anything scares me.

So then....imagine what happened when I watched Jesus Camp last night? For the first time in awhile, I was left with the sensation of wanting to puke violently. As I watched this movie, featuring three children, I began to increasingly feel bile crawl from my belly and into my mouth. I was flabbergasted, floored and just utterly stunned by the lack of intelligence as well as lack of respect for all things sacred! It was like.....waiting for something WACO (TX) to happen.

And these poor kids......their eyes were cold, their demeanor was jumpy and mechanical......I have never seen anything like it.

Anyway.....For those who have not seen the movie, let me break it down for you....via Wiki.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jesus Camp is a documentary about the "Kids On Fire School of Ministry," a charismatic Christian summer camp located just outside Devils Lake, North Dakota and run by Becky Fischer and her ministry, Kids in Ministry International. The film focuses on three children who attended the camp in the summer of 2005--Levi, Rachael, and Tory (Victoria). The film cuts between footage of the camp and a children's prayer conference held just prior to the camp at Christ Triumphant Church, a large charismatic church in Lee's Summit, Missouri; a suburb of Kansas City.

All three children, despite their youth, are very devout charismatic Christians. Levi, who has ambitions of being a pastor, has already preached several sermons at his father's church, Rock of Ages Church in St. Robert, Missouri. He is homeschooled (as are many of the campers), and learns physical science from a book that attempts to reconcile the creationist account with scientific principles. He is also taught that global warming is a non-issue and that it is political propaganda. At the camp, he preaches a sermon in which he declares that his generation is key to Jesus's coming back. Rachael, who also attends Levi's church (her father is assistant pastor), is seen praying over a bowling ball early in the film, and frequently passes Christian tracts (including some by Jack Chick) to people she meets. She doesn't think very highly of non-charismatic churches (or "dead churches," as she calls them), feeling they aren't "churches that God likes to go to." Tory is a member of the children's praise dance team at Christ Triumphant Church. She frequently dances to Christian heavy metal music, and feels uncomfortable about "dancing for the flesh." She also doesn't think very highly of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

At the camp, Fischer stresses the need for children to purify themselves in order to be part of the "army of God." She strongly believes that children need to be in the forefront of turning America toward conservative Christian values. She also feels that Christians need to focus on training kids since "the enemy" are focused on training theirs.

Becky Fischer, directer of the Kids On Fire School of Ministry
In one scene shot at Christ Triumphant Church, Lou Engle, the chief "prophet" (a term not used in the film) for Harvest International Ministries (the "apostolic network" with which both the church and Fischer's ministry are affiliated--an affiliation not advertised in the film) and founder of the Justice House of Prayer, preaches a message urging children to join the fight to end abortion in America. He prays for George W. Bush to have the strength to appoint "righteous judges" who will overturn Roe v. Wade. By the end of the sermon, the children are chanting, "Righteous judges! Righteous judges!" In another, a woman brings a life-sized cutout of Bush to the front of the church, and has the children stretch their hands toward him. Some media reports misinterpreted this as "worshipping" the president, but the children were actually "praying over him." Indeed, the woman clearly says to "pray for" and "speak a blessing to" Bush. Stretching hands toward someone is a derivative of laying hands on someone, which is a very common practice in Pentecostal and charismatic churches.

There is also a scene at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where Levi and his family go on vacation to hear its renowned pastor, Ted Haggard (who has a Monday morning call with President Bush every week). Less than two months after the release of the film, Haggard became embroiled in a high-profile scandal involving, among other things, homosexual prostitution. Afterward, Levi, Rachael and their families take part in a Justice House of Prayer rally held by Engle in front of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Additionally, there is a debate between Fischer and Mike Papantonio (an attorney and a radio talk-show host for Air America Radio's Ring of Fire).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

First off, these kids are being severly brainwashed. I am TOTALLY apposed to anyone who brainwashes children. It's one thing to lead a child to Jesus (or any religion/faith) but they aren't leading the lamb into the field of the shepherd here. They're using Jesus' name to create a sadistic world with their political and religious motives fully vested into the minds of children.....little children.

Can you imagine training (militantly) children to go up to strangers and ask them if they know where they are going when they die? Yes...a little girl did this and then accused the folks of being Muslim......without even asking them what they were or what their beliefs were. She just assumed. WTF?!?!?!

Folks, you need to be aware that there are some severe fundamentalists out there who want to remove your right to the freedom of religion as well as your freedom of choice. Be very cautious of this and DO NOT LET IT IN TO OUR POLITICAL SYSTEM! Separation of church and state must remain. Morals are important but thrusting religious motivations is not. Just ask Jesus.

STUPID CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have any idea of what time is it right now??? is quarter to 2am, the animal control patrol just left. A "STUPID CAT" got in the house somehow, all I know is that I found it inside my bedroom laying on my bed, I came back from my church;I turned on the light and the cat jumped under my bed... at the begining I tried to pull it out myself but then I just shut the door and left it in until the rest of my family arrived, soooo we called animal control, by the time they got here the "STUPID CAT" had pooo and pee inside and left my room stinky as hell. STUPID CAT lol gave me a new load of work for tomorrow, now I will have to spend at least half of day washing my blankets and moving out my furniture to get reid of that awful smell and worst.. I will have to sleep in the cauch. (At least the floor wasn't carpeted at some point will be easier to clean I guess).

STUPID CATS!!!!!

I have seen that cat outside the house all the time but we could never figure out who the owner was (still we have no clue) but the Animal Control Patrol said they will keep the cat for 7 days otherwise they will give it in adoption.