Dark Knight, A Review

Welcome to a World Without Rules
So, Malach and Dr. Murk went this afternoon to go see The Dark Knight. We were supposed to be joined by The Angry Piper, but he pulled a Otis Serungis on us.

The Dark Knight is of course the latest in the series of Batman movies, this being a sequel to the very good Batman Begins, and like it's predecessor has nothing to do with the Batman movies of the late 80's through 90's. Like those movies it attempts to move Batman away from the campy 60's version my parents grew upwith, and return Batman to what he really is.

It of course was excellent overall, Christian Bale once again does an decent job portraying a tough character to portray, playboy billionaire industrialist by day, and violent costumed vigilante by night. The polarity of a hero who is doomed to be the same as his villains.

This movie of course features Heath Ledger's version of the Joker, Gary Oldman retaining his role of Jim Gordon, and Aaron Eckhardt playing an awesome Harvey "Two Face" Dent. Maggie Gyllenhaal takes up the role of Rachel Dawes, the role Katie Holmes played in Batman Begins before she was kidnapped by Xenu. Micheal Caine returns as Alfred, and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox.

The casting is excellent, Bale does a adequate job in the Bruce Wayne/Batman role (better than any previous), even though his whispering disguised voice as Batman is kind of annoying; Ledger lives up to the hype as the Joker, a very dark, psychotic, insane genius version of him, maybe too insane, a bit far from the comic book version, but I prefer the Joker this way anyway (IE The Killing Joke). Eckhardt though, steals the show as Harvey Dent, and especially his transformation into Two Face.

The movie is a shade under 3 hours, and in that time explores mainly the Joker, and how he completes messes up Gotham City, from the Crime Lords, the Police, Harvey Dent, and Batman. While not giving a true origin of the Joker beyond little tidbits from the Joker himself ("ask me how I got my scars"), the movie explores the reasons for the Joker being, how Batman and Joker are the same person in a way, and Ledger plays up his psychotic brilliance perfectly. The Joker does these excellent choice based death traps, that add a real sense of nuttiness to the character. While Batman won't bring himself to kill, the Joker refuses to kill Batman, or he would have no reason for being. As he is Batman's greatest foe, Batman is his. As the Joker states in one great scene to the Bats, "You complete me". Better than Nicholson, but Mark Hamill still did the best Joker.

The Joker is eventually captured, but this is all part of his plan, and plan that turns Harvey Dent into Two Face, and further crumbles Batman and Bruce Wayne's world around him, by the end of the film, Batman is as wanted as the villains he fights. Wayne Manor is still ruins, and the love of his life is dead.

If you are any sort of fan of Batman, this is a must see movie, just for the portrayals of the Joker and Two Face. The movie is obviously open for a sequel, Batman's greatest enemy lives (though the actor portraying him didn't).

I have few complaints about the film. The first is it does not come across whether or not Two Face dies in the movie, neither myself nor Murk could figure that out. Also, this might be too realistic as a Batman movie, Batman almost seems out of place in his own movie, which is pretty much a dark gritty homicide drama. He was almost like if you had a pro wrestler leading a homicide investigation. Finally, it is the complaint I have about EVERY Batman movie. Why can they not ever get the costume so it looks cool, and not stiff, over armored, and more fluid like the comics? They could do it for the Spiderman movies, why not Batman? Perhaps they are trying to make it too realistic, Batman is a comic book hero, and does not look like one in this movies? He looks more like a armored martial artist. Use some CGI if you need too.

Was is better the Ironman? I am still debating that. But is get 3 1/2 Rubbersuitheads out of 4.

I am Malach, and you wanna know where I got my scars?

Batman: Gotham Knight, a review

Good Stuff
So, Malach who has a plethora of Best Buy gift certificates, went out and purchased Batman: Gotham Knight (BGK) and watched it last night. BGK is a direct to video 6 episode interrelated animated films; a Batman anthology, in the vein of the Animatrix. They are set between the events of the feature length movies, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

The shorts are written by a collection of well known American comic book writers, screenwriters, and television writers: Josh Olson, David Goyer, Brian Azzarello, Greg Rucka, Jordan Goldberg and Alan Burnett. Each of the 6 shorts is individually written by one of the writers, but relates to the whole; the first couple years of Batman's career. As each short has a different writing style, they also have a different animation style, each directed and animated by a popular anime director: Shojiro Nishimi, Futoshi Higashide, Hiroshi Morioka, Yasuhiro Aoki, Toshiyuki Kubooka, and Jong-Sik Nam (Yeah Wikipedia is racist against the Japanese, no articles on these directors). Bruce Timm of course is the executive producer, and BGX retains his influence and additionally the talents of Kevin Conroy and many of the original voices actors from The DC Animated Universe. It is rated PG-13, for stylized violence, and has some pretty gory, though cartoony, violence in parts, including a decapitation, and realistic depiction of unanesthesitized surgery.

The 6 stories trace Batman's first year or two as the caped crusader, taking off right from a few months after Batman Begins. He battles the likes of Killer Croc and The Scarecrow; Gotham's ultra violent gangs and criminal underground; explores much of his psychological makeup (why he does what he does, and the crazy edge he rides and a costumed vigilante); explores his pre-Batman training through effective flashbacks; and finally fights off Deadshot. Much of the hour plus explores Batman and Bruce Wayne, what made him and why he does it. The animation style is pretty amazing, and yes, it has some anime elements to it, but not so overpowering that the Angry Piper will hate it. It is more in the highly detailed vein of Akira, Spirited Away, or Cowboy BeBop than say something like Naruto or or the cheesy anime rip off they did for Teen Titans. The animation is impressive, breathtaking in places. The fluid movements, the stylization, and especially Gotham.

The short films do an excellent job of establishing what Batman is, if you had never known what Batman was, these films would immediately get you started. The intro film, not part of the 6, does an very interesting job of describing how Batman is perceived from the eyes of 4 kids. Each has seen Batman fighting and unnamed robber, and each perceives him in a different way, while perfectly describing Batman's image. One of the middle films, has Batman deep in the Gotham sewers, severely injured, and bleeding profusely, attempting to make it back to the surface, where of course Alfred is waiting, fighting off pain and unconsciousness, and continually flashes back to his early training with a Fakir woman.

While for some, it might miss what they are looking for . . . classic Batman vs. Villain of the Week battles, true Batman fans, especially fans of Batman: The Animated Series, and the current The Batman, will love these films as much of the influence on the character provided by these "cartoons" is felt in this and the current feature films.

Malach gives it 3 out of 4 Rubbersuitheads, and be careful with this one around children.

I am Malach, The Batman

Movie Review: Carnie Wilson's War

Carnie Wilson's War
By Dr. Murk




Carnie Wilson: Fat

So, I went to Vinnie's Video to rent a movie. I was looking for that new one about how Carnie Wilson ate the Russian Army in Afghanistan. I asked Vinnie, because I could not find it. I looked in the drama, heavy chicks, and porno sections ( seeing Angry Piper in the drama section, crying while he looked at the cover of The Cider House Rules).

So, Vinnie says, "It ain't in yet."

I says, "When's it coming in?"

He says, "You gotta hold on for one more day."

"But I got this movie review to do," I says.

"Hold on, indeed, chums!" The Angry Piper burst in between us. "I know about this movie which you speak. I have... seen it." We gaped in agony. No. Surprise? Yes. That's it.

"Well, old friend," I said, "It seems that we have crossed paths after a long time at just this moment for a reason."

"You mean since we crossed paths in the drama section a few minutes ago?" he asked.

"Indeed," I said. "Say, why were you crying anyways?"

"Oh," he said with a wistful smile, "I was caught by a sad memory of when I once knew a young girl such as seen in that movie. Beautiful. Striking Asian features. She smashed all of my bottles of Cider and made me walk on the glass."

"Sounds like my wife," I said.

"It was," he said. "Anywho, no. No I cannot help you write this review. My affection for Carnie would taint... taint... mmmmmm... Carlie taint... ahem. Um, it would bring the full love and devotion for Carlie into the light of day. Plus, I hav this whole date with destiny tonight."

"No problem," I said.

"FATHER!!!!" he shouted, "THE SLEEPER HAS AWOKEN!!!!!" He ran headlong through the display window, into route six traffic, took a few bumps from the cars and trucks and rolled into an open sewer pipe.

So, I'm going to review the movie without his help and without the movie.

First off, this movie is heavy. It's full of delicious fun. The camera work is a feast for the eyes. Get the large popcorn because it's a big big movie. You have to see it wide screen. I give it two tons up.

The End.

Kung Fu Panda - A WoW movie review

The Wu-Xi Finger Hold
Malach, the wife and the kiddos went to see Kung Fu Panda yesterday, and I must say, it was excellent. It was thoroughly enjoyed by the 5 year old daughter, the 6 year old son, and my wife and I who are both in our 30's.

The film is by Dreamworks Animation, and stars Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan, David Cross, and Al Swearengen. It is rated PG, mostly for intensely animated Martial Arts scenes (which frackin' rocked). The film is CGI animated, and well done, and stylized.

The Plot revolves around a Panda named Po (Jack Black) who works in his father's (who is a goose) noodle shop. He is a Kung Fu fanatic, and fan boy, who dreams of someday becoming a Kung Fu master, though his father wants to raise him up in the noodle business and have him take over the shop. The local Kung Fu master, a tortoise named Oogway, has a premonition that and old student of his protege Sifu (Hoffman), and now most evil Kung fFu master snow leopard Tai Lung (Al Swearengen) will escape from prison and reign terror upon their valley once more.

Oogway orders a ceremony so a might Dragon Warrior can be chosen to defeat Tai Lung. Everyone assumes it is one of the members of the Furious Five, Sifu's best students (Jolie as Tigress, Chan as Monkey, Rogen as Mantis, Liu as Viper, and Cross as Crane). As the students show off their skills to the assembled crowd, Po who got accidentally got locked out of the ceremony, tries increasing foolhardy was to gain entrance, finally doing that and landing directly in front of Master Oogway as he is pointing out who the Dragon Warrior will be, making Po the Dragon Warrior. Of course everyone assumes it is an accident, and wise old Oogway states "there are no accidents".

Sifu is stuck training a overweight noodle vendor with no Kung Fu experience, and despite his protests, and those of Po's, Oogway does not change his mind. Sifu attempts to get Po to quit, but no matter what physical and mental tortures and humiliations he puts him through Po refuse to quit, and the fan boy is him actually enjoys living in the Kung Fu world, even with the beatings.

Tai Lung as per the prophecy escapes, and heads to the valley to seek his revenge, and claim the Dragon Scroll (with untold universal power). Oogway then passes away (Ascends to Nirvana) leaving a final request that Sifu train Po. Sifu and Po are both at a loss to do this. Meanwhile, the Furious Five are defeated and almost killed in a battle with Tai Lung.

No more spoilers from here, the movie goes another hour after this.

Wonderfully acted, and animated, the movie is very funny for both adults and kids, and has some killer Martial Arts scenes. It plays very much in the style of those old 70's Kung Fu movies, Bruce Lee, and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I would highly recommend taking a child to this movie if you don't want to go as creepy adult. I would also recommend this to the Angry Piper, it is right up his alley.

The Opening title sequence is pretty amazing and ground breaking. They are a hand drawn, vividley colored dream sequence, that has been stylized to somewhat resembly Chinese Shadow Puppetry. It also harkens stylistically to anime like Samurai Champloo or Afro Samurai.

Kung Fu Panda gets 3 1/2 Rubbersuit Masks out of 4 for kids and 3 out of 4 for adults.

As and added bonus to this review, click me to hear Cee-Lo Brown and Jack Black doing Kung Fu Fighting.

I am Malach and I am Kung Fu Fighting

Sex and the City a review

No way
You don't really think Malach went to see that tripe do you? Of course not, with the Celtics Game (BEAT LA! BEAT LA! BEAT LA!) last night and Battlestar Galactica winding down it's season, I had no need to see Sarah Jessica Parker's dog face on a 20' screen.

But my wife saw it, she said it was "Very Good". She would give it 3 1/2 Superstars out of 4. The atmosphere was kind of like opening night for Iron Man, except instead of geeks, the place was filled with desperate housewives. Unfortunately, she would not give me any spoilers, God I hate her, Torture Time!

I an Malach, and I was once Samantha for Halloween.

Ironman, a review

I AM IRON MAN!
Malach took the kids to see Iron Man this weekend, and I must say kuods to a job well done. My kids are 6 and 5, a boy and a girl, and they both loved it. It is rated PG-13, but neither child had any issue with that (I am not even sure why it was rated that).

The movie itself is a adaptation of the comic book series Iron Man, and out of all the comic book films, this one is perhaps the most accurate depiction of any comic book hero in movie form. While not right in line with the comics, the changes they make, even moving Tony Stark out of Manhattan to the West Coast works. The plot is well written, with an excellent balance of dialogue, character development, and of course action. The casting was absolutely perfect. Robert Downey Jr.(RDJ) plays a role he was born to play in alcoholic playboy Tony Stark; Jeff Bridges, who always plays amazing villains, takes Obadiah Stane to a new level of nastiness; and even Gwyneth Paltrow plays Pepper Potts, and the unrequited sexual chemistry between her and RDJ is perfect for both roles. SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

The plot revolves around billionaire military industrialist playboy Tony Stark. Stark had inherited his father's business Stark Industries, and using his mechanical genius, creates some of the most powerful weapons is the world. Stark, while a genius, is a hard drinking, womanizing partier, and the day to day operation are run by his father's partner Obidiah Stane. Stark heads to Afghanistan to show off a new weapon, the Jericho cluster bomb. After his successful showing, he heads back to the airport in a military convoy, which is attacked by a Terrorist Organization called (foreshadow) The Ten Rings; all are killed except for Stark.

An unconscious Stark is taken captive in grave condition. As fate would have it, he is put in captivity with a Dr. Ho Yinsin, who creates a device that he embeds in Stark's chest that prevents the shrapnel in his chest from reaching his heart and killing him. Stark immediately improves upon the device, which was run by car battery hook up to work on it own power source, Stark invented arc power source. Yinsin and Stark become friendly, and Yinsin begins to show Stark the errors of his lifestyle.

The Ten Rings terrorists, demand Stark make them their own version of the Jericho missile, Stark agrees, but secretly designs his first crude Iron Man armor instead, and uses it to escape captivity, though Yinsin is killed in the ensuing battle.

Stark returns to the US a changed man, immediately announces Stark Industries would no longer produce weapons, which upsets Stane. Stane tells Stark to take some time off and reconsider what he said. Meanwhile Stane start working the board of directors against Stark.

Stark goes into seclusion, design a better power supply for the device keeping him alive, and then begins designing his second version of the power armor he used to escape. He also finds out, that Stark Industries has been supplying Ten Rings with Stark weapons technology under the direction of Stane.

Faced with this realization he dons the armor and sets out of right the wrongs his company has done. Stane who is working with Ten Rings, receives the broken up pieces of of Stark's old original armor, and sets about Stark Industries to create a series of armored soldiers which he calls Iron Mongers. And you can see where the rest of the story heads.

Ironman of course comes into battle with Stane, now in the first Iron Monger costumes. Titanic battle, and with the help of Pepper Potts (and a early SHIELD), they defeat Iron Monger, and Stane is killed in the process.

A cover story is created by SHIELD, of course Stark does not follow it, and reveals he is Ironman at the end of the movie . . . credits roll. But is doesn't end there. After the credits are finished, there is a final scene. Stark returns home to find Nick Fury (played by Samuel L. Jackson) waiting for him. Fury tells Stark, he is not the only one like him, and they need to discuss "The Avengers Initiative" and the movie ends, obviously open for sequels. Their is quite the buzz about Jackson playing Fury; Fury is traditionally a white Clint Eastwood looking fellow (Except for his Ultimates incarnation, which is based on Jackson's look). It has to be better the 1998's version of Nick Fury played by David Hasselhoff. END SPOILERS

Iron Man, while not Citizen Kane was still a very fun, excellent movie, one of the best of the comic genre I have seen. My kids loved it too. It gets 4 1/2 out of 5 rubbersuit masks!

Horton Hears a Who - A Movie Review

But first, a plug
Check out the new collaboration from Christopher Morris and Malach the Merciless, Meet The Heroes the webcomic.

Horton Hears a Who
So, Malach took the kiddos to see Horton Hears a Who this weekend. We were very excited to see the film, done by Blue Sky Studios who had brought you the Ice Age Movies, and Robots; both films I found thoroughly enjoyable.

Horton Hears a Who is about am an imaginative and naive elephant named Horton (Jim Carey), who while wading in a pool, hears a yelp from a speck of dust that flies by. Thinking there is family microscopic life on the speck, he places it on a clover to keep it safe. Little did he know, an entire city of beings lives on the speck in a city called Whoville (never clear if this is the same Whoville in the Grinch).

Horton comes into contact with with the Mayor of Whoville (Steve Carrell) and they decide that they need to keep Whoville safe. Every little thing in Nool, seems to effect Whoville (where most of the comedy comes from). Horton would move the speck to a small sheltered cave on the Mountains of Nool. Horton, is the only creature on in Nool who can hear the mayor (big elephant ears) and he is ridiculed by the other creatures of Nool, most especially the Sour Kangaroo (Carol Burnett) as crazy. Kangaroo attempts to embarrass Horton, and his crazy antics by taking the clover from him and crushing it.

The movie was cute, but that is really about it. Surprisingly, with both Blue Sky doing it, and cast members like Jim Carey, Steve Carrell, and Carol Burnett, the film was missing much of the comedy that previous Blue Sky outings had. Don't get me wrong, there was some comedy in it, but overall, the film seemed to focus much more on the cutesy and morality, than entertaining. The film really focused on believing in things you can't experience with your senses, and that everyone matters (Bah!). Even my kids, who normally sit through a movie pretty enraptured, got up a few times to get a snack during the showing.

The movie of course is based on the Dr. Suess classic, and they actually do a pretty good job of character development based on that short children's story. It is CGI created, and the animation is excellent; the film is definitely Suessian, from the characters, to the setting, only on steroids.

Don't get me wrong, the movie isn't all bad, or boring, it is just not something that I would be excited to see again. I got several chuckles out of it, and there were some interesting more adult oriented jokes (Whoville's version of MySpace, WhoSpace, was fun), I guess I just expected something on the lines of Ice Age, or Robots which were both better than this movie.

So, wait for it to come out on DVD.

A bonus review short - Justice League: The New Frontier
Now this was good. My son and I purchased it last weekend, and watched it. First, this animation is rated PG13, it features cartoon violence, and blood, and some adult themes. The film is an adaptation of the of the comic DC: The New Frontier.

Excellent film. It is set in the 1950's. You have all the 1950's versions of your DC Justice League favorites. In this setting of Anti-Superhero McCarthyism, the Korean War, and the Nuclear Age we are dropped. Superheroes are either working for the government or wanted vigilantes.

In this setting a supernatural threat to the world develops and Supers and humans have to work together to repel it forming the first Justice League.

The animation is extremely good, and stylized like the comic. The acting is exceptional. It is worth a rental of the DVD, especially if you are a fan of DC, and Bruce Timm's animated DC universe.

I am Malach and I killed Roger Ebert

The Daily Narcissist Goes to the Movies: No Country for Old Men

Okay, no suspense here. Four swipes of the cat tail for No Country for Old Men. I feel giddy - giddily happy after seeing this movie.

How can one feel this way after having seen a whole lot of graphic murders? One can because one has been completely, thoroughly and superbly entertained. Based on a Cormac McCarthy novel, and written for the screen and directed by the inimitable Coen brothers, No Country for Old Men is a perfect movie. I love going to Coen brothers' movies because I am 100% certain I'm going to see something very different from the usual pablum of American film making. I was not disappointed.
















Plot summary: Llewelyn Moss, played spot on by Josh Brolin (who knew?), is out hunting in the west Texas desert one hot, glaringly sunny day when he stumbles on a drug deal gone very, very wrong, as evidenced by many shot up pick-up trucks and dead bodies, including one dog. He finds something that I think most of us wouldn't blame him for taking, and carries it back to his pretty young wife waiting impatiently at home in the trailer park.















A twinge of conscience sends him back to the crime scene in the middle of the night. This arbitrary act of kindness sets in motion a tension-filled, violent chase by first Anton Chigurh (played by the superb Spanish actor Javier Bardem, whom I last saw in The Sea Inside), then Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones, masterful and, as always, at the top of his game), and finally "fixer" Carson Wells (Woody Harrellson).

























In between all the mayhem and murder perpetrated by the deliciously psychotic Chigurh, you'll find humor slipped in that had all of us in the audience chuckling out loud many times. You have to listen carefully. I've read some reviews that try to equate the dessicated and violence-filled scenery with a metaphor for the current lawless and fucked-up state of the US. I don't know if that's McCarthy's intent, and I don't know if I see it that way, but it doesn't matter because the story in and of itself is so well put together, fantastically well-acted and perfectly filmed.

















If you're familiar with the nature of Cormac McCarthy's writing and the Coen brothers' affection for "noirish" film making, you won't be too surprised with how it ends. But really, the ending is almost besides the point. Watching Bardem's fastidious Chigurh mess with a sincere but hapless Texas gas station owner, and Jones' humorous, world-weary intelligence effortlessly and accurately (almost) assembling the pieces of this bit of "dismal tide" is just way too much fun to miss.

And if anyone can find me the soundtrack, especially the track, "Blood Trail", that plays during the ending credits, I'll be forever grateful.

WWJMD? Run, Shoot, and Blow Sh*t Up!

Don't worry kids, Uncle AV isn't going to spoil any plot points for you.

I just want you all to know that I saw it last night and it was great. It was one of those action movies that did exactly what it was supposed to do and didn't try to do anything more or less.

When I left the theater, I felt a letdown because there wasn't more movie to watch.

It was damn good.

Yippee kai yay motherfu**er!!!