Things that make me go HMMMMM . . .

So I checked my work email this morning, and this appeared.


FW: Picture . . . see carefully


Picture of Mary
The President of Argentina received this picture and called it 'junk mail', 8 days later his son died. A man received this picture and immediately sent out copies...his surprise was winning the lottery. Alberto Martinez received this picture, gave it to his secretary to make copies but they forgot to distribute: she lost her job and he lost his family. This picture is miraculous and sacred, don't forget to forward this within 13 days to at least 20 people. Do Not Forget to forward and you will receive a huge surprise!!

Of course Malach has replied to everyone of these forwards with: " Yeah, Jesus, that is his style to punish and kill people because they did not forward an email picture of his mother."

Do people think when they send these things out? Am I wrong, or has God created new rules regarding e-mails and internet based commication (notice how I covered my ass by posting this here).

I am Malach and I wonder . . .

A Self-Negating Convenience

Americans are all about convenience. Things that never bothered us before suddenly become tiresome and unnecessary once someone invents a way to make it faster, easier, and more streamlined. There's a new product out that does just that.



Now that you've seen an ad for birth control, I will console you. Scroll down a bit to see who wrote this. It's me, guys, your friendly, non-confrontational Horacian satirist. I'm not going to get into some political discussion about how birth control was invented by Dakota Fanning in order to halt the return of Christ or how birth control is a better invention than the combustion engine. You know what to expect with me, so take two breaths and come with me.

This new birth control pill is chewable, which is so much harder than, you know, swallowing a pill. Swallowing, which is so easy your grandparents do it every day to stay alive, is just way too hard. I can see where the whole "birth control on the go" idea would technically be a revolutionary step in a birth controlled world, but there is just one little thing that keeps this from being a miracle drug.

My mother pointed something out to me. If you'll take a look at the bottom of the ad at right about 12 seconds or so, you will see the phrase that is the two hours traffic of my rant:

"Followed by a full glass of liquid."

What? Wait, you mean to tell me that this pill is chewable, but it still requires the liquid that most people use when swallowing a pill? Isn't that, like, adding unnecessary exercise to taking a pill? And they're marketing this...to Americans? It seems like they are really missing the target audience here. They've not only destroyed any hope of "convenience" with their product, but they have actually tried to add steps in their process that make it more complicated than what is already available.

So the next time you rush out to buy the next tier of ultimate convenience for what is probably hundreds of dollars more than what you are currently paying, take a step back to realize that birth control was actually made by Dakota Fanning in order to halt the return of Christ.