Exposed Again: I'm a Terrorist

I'm just gonna have to thank his holiness the pope (sporting a very sassy cowboy hat, I might add) for pointing out Malach's latest rant on me. It turns out I'm a terrorist, eh?

Honestly... why WAS I invited onto this blog? I'm still a little confused about that. That isn't to say I'm ungrateful... But, why would one pass up the chance to rant in a more public forum. I mean... Horatio's Land of Joy was a lotta fun, but just doesn't get quite the exposure I might get over here.

Yep... I'm an Arab lover. Actually, I'm not all that attracted to Arab girls (and don't have a man-crush on anybody, let alone Mitt). Personally, I think the Arabs are the most welcoming and hospitable people I have ever been around. And, gasp, I speak their language. It's amazing what happens when you learn to talk.

But... um... nope. Not a terrorist. I wouldn't mind having some of the amazing bow-hunting-type skills that terrorists gain in their boot camps. But, the awesome workout didn't seem worth the ideological issues and moral quandaries of crying "death to infidels". I'm a pretty religious guy... but I've never gone quite that far. (It turns out that I have not joined the military for exactly the opposite reason that I'm not a terrorist. IN that case, I fully believe in the cause, but still didn't think I would excel with all the other things. It would be a great way to get in shape, however).

See, terrorism and blind liberalism seem to have the same problem these days: completely distorted views of conservatism. One wants to shun us because we actually like religion. The other wants to shun us because we aren't religious enough. Both suffer from a terrible case of myopia.

Take Bush for example. People call him stupid, inept, ideologically lost, ineffective... but somehow he has been one of the most effective presidents in modern history. You may not like what he did to the country, but you have to admit he managed the process pretty well. He has played the political wave better than even Clinton did. And, the only reason liberals can find to hate him is a) the war or b) he's dumb. Well, obviously he pulled a fast one on us, because he has gotten a lot of stuff done.

What is my point of this rant? I don't know actually... I'm just writing. Yep, I'm a conservative. Yep, I'm probably going to vote for Mitt Romney (I mean, competence is always a nice thing to have in a chief executive... even more than ideology). Nope... not a terrorist. But, I have spoken to a few of them. They're an interesting lot.

If you don't like my rants... um... fire me. Until then, you can live with the fact that liberal politicians can't seem to get their heads out of their butts and actually do something... that socialism (to any degree) has NEVER worked because the people who tout socialism always tend to be capitalists at heart... And, though you hate Bush, he has certainly seems to have the world wrapped around his finger... and nobody on the other side seems competent enough to take his place.

Pity.

Furthermore... Uncle Mitt doesn't want your blood... just a small contribution.

:-)

That is all.

Horatio

Yet another WoW Expose: Horatio K. Frankenziemer

Yet another Buckos Brigade exclusive.
Not much was known about the man Horatio when he joined the Wand of Wonder, beyond his exhaustive Man Love for a one Uncle Mitt "I want your Blood" Romney. He would occasionally post right wing rants here at the WoW, and over at this own blogs but that is the little contact we had with him.


But once again, the Buckos Brigade has uncovered the truth. Malach was sent a package to his office, delivered by by capable hand of General Choas. Inside was a picture and a letter.


The picture was a large 8 x 10 glossy. I scanned it for you, here it is.

Interesting . . . but the enclosed letter was even more interesting:

All exhaulted Malach the Merciless
I write you with an aim to reveal the truth. I am a high ranking official in a covert organization, my name is not important, but the identity of one of your WoW bloggers is.

The included photo was shot in 2006 at a meeting in Syria. The Picture is of one Horatio Bush-Bin Laden, aka Horation K. Frankenzeimer. Shocking I know.

My organization has been tracking Horatio for some time now, it was only recently we realized he was the blogger Horatio.

Let me explain a bit more. We all know the Bush and Bib Laden families have been very tight since the early 1880's. Over that time, their bloodlines had occasionally merged. Sometime in 1942, H. W. had an affair with Alzubra Lama Bin Laden, a little known sister of Muhammed Bin Laden, and Horatio Bush-Bin Landen was the product of that.

Not much is know after his birth, he was hidden by both families in a effort to save face, but evidently Horatio remained in the Middle East.

Sometime around 1967, Horation formed a group called El Kiedia, which ultimately failed but was a inspiration for his half brother Osama. Horatio has been Osama secret right hand man ever since.

Horatio over the years has been responsible for Al Queda's web presence, the Mad Burt fiasco, being the main architect behind the attack of the USS Cole, getting the most recent pope elected, and most recently, Osama metrosexual make over:

Ability like that is very dangerous. Now, he has developed his blog persona, and now is using his internet fame to convince young people to vote Republican, and some really nut job candidates.

He must be stooped . . .

Sincerely,
Gung Ho

Well, know, I see this might be a matter of national security.

I am Malach and I warn you of dangerous . . . rise the level to red.