How to survive the collapse of the World Economy.

The Bailout did not pass!
What did Malach tell you? He outlined his bail-out plan at ROYTERS but did all those jerks in Congress and the White House didn't listen? Read it, it was a foolproof plan! Call your Congressman, there might still be some time!

So now, Malach brings you the end of the world as you know it, but I feel fine. Before the internet goes off the air, read this. Before they fire up that Death Machine the Large Haldron Collider, read this. It is Mad Max time, and Malach, who has seen all the movies and watches all the survival shows, he has a plan.

First, get some guns, use the last of your money to buy an arsenal, and make sure you overstock the bullets, cause a few years from now you gonna wish you had more bullets. Next armor, make you own from leather biker outfits and football equipment. Go here, and print out everthing you would need to know about emergency and first aid. Finally soup up a car and mount weapons on it, your gonna do a lot of travelling.

You will want to avoid cities, and head for Wal-Mart first, they got all your supplies. Keep a large supply of water purifiers, canteen, jerky and such. THUNDERDOME IS COMING! Be prepared, you might have to eat you family, surprise them when they sleep, they will never no what hit them. NOW IS THE TIME TO PANIC! Money will mean nothing once the world goes to shit, but now it will mean everything. Don't pay any bills, a year from now it won't matter.

Now if you are one of those religions types, you reveling in your glory. "See it was in the Bible", finally after 2000 years, it finally relates to the text for onces, but you be dead rotting in the ground, walk Malach will be stalking the countryside, finding happiness in the flowers of the fields and he blows away some mutant with a sawed off shotgun.

Now is the time to learn magic . . . someone out there knows all the secrets, beat it out of them! That old man down the street, he is a rich wizard, get him before he gets you. Soon R'yleh will rise, and our souls will be devoured!

Heed my advice little ones, the end is near!

I am Malach and I incite panic!

Hey Dubya, Bail My Ass Out

With Dubya poised to bail out poorly run companies to save the US economy (sounds like Dubya's previosu business life), Malach busted out his massive brain and has a better solution. Bail my ass out. You want to prevent a long term recession (what Hell has been going on the past 4 - 5 years anyway?)? What is our piss poor economy effecting the Upper half now? So now we need to do something about it?

Malach has a better plan, BEHOLD THE POWER OF MALACH . . . what would it take to bail out Malach? About $265K. That is much less that $700billion Dubya plans on spending. So that got Malach thinking. Instead of bailing out these companies why not bail out every American? There is an estimate 304Million Americans. 25% of those Americans are under 18 that leaves 228million Americans. Give each of them $250K, that comes out to $57trillion. What would happen then? Let see, the wife and I would both get $250K, we would pay off our debt, invest a large part of it, and maybe by some investment property, and of course go on a shopping spree: right back into the system. Most Americans would pay off their mortgages or BUY HOMES (wow, that would solve another problem), pay off their debt and then go on a spending spree. How much money would be put right back into the economy? If I had no debt (I don't use credit cards, my debt basically consist of a car loan, a mortgage, and a school loan), I would be pumping money into the economy like Gary Glitter pumps his man juice . . . well you know where I am going here.

So where we gonna get this all this money? Well the government deals with pretend money they don't have anyway. Hell, if the bail out is costing $700billion, and the Iraq War has cost us $600billion, you see where I am going here? Again that money would be tossed right back into the economy . . . Hey if were are going to practice socialist capitalism, lets go all the way. How about Universal Health Care?

Oh and John McCain. Suspending your Presidential Campaign? You do realize the President has to multi-task right?

So Malach is here outside the Capital Building trying to get in there to testify about his plan, but I keep getting stopped by guys in suits. Every so often a Congreeman goes buy and I get little words for conversation like "Thuderdome" and "Master Blaster". I'm scared, and now I have to wait until Spring to be destroyed by the Large Haldron Collider . .

I am Malach, and I WANT MY $250MILLION