Jesus vs. Elliot Spitzer
Spitzer sued big companies who caused acid rain in New York. Jesus healed lepers. Because leprosy is no longer relevant, Point Spitzer.
Spitzer and Jesus - both jews. Push.
Jesus was a blue collar carpenter. Spitzer got an almost perfect score on his SAT's and graduated from Princeton and Harvard. Point Spitzer.
Spitzer pissed off crime families. Jesus pissed off the Romans. It would legitimately suck to have either angry with you, but the Romans are hardcore, so Point Jesus.
Spitzer was Attorney General and then elected Governor in a Landslide. Jesus was the unofficial king of the Jews and rumored to be the son of god. hmmm... I think since I know for a FACT that Spitzer really WAS attorney general and Governor, he gets the Point.
Spitzer used state funds to investigate a political rival. Jesus turned water into wine. Hands down, Jesus gets the Point.
Spitzer loves whores so much it was his downfall. Jesus hung out with that Mary Magdelene chick, who was an ex-whore, but the bible never mentioned any sexual activity. This is unegotiably Point Spitzer.
Spitzer's wife stood by him despite his indiscretions. Jesus' homies pretended not to even know him. What a bunch of assholes. Point Spitzer.
Spitzer-5
Jesus-2
I'm still not praying to either.
Labels: Jesus Christ, on balls, tequila mockingbird
posted by Tequila Mockingbird @ 9:11 AM
7 Comments:
Jesus was ON BALLS. 100 points.
Jesus wins.
End of story.
Spitzer's whore was better looking than Jesus' whore. Point Spitzer.
Let's be real here...
If Jesus had turned that water into a shot of Patron, I'm sure he would have won this one on execution alone.
Jesus rose from death!! Spitzer might not LOL
Toyi's got a point
Spitzer liked to hump whores, Jesus heal them - push
Bravo Tequmock!
Does Spitzer like to hump dead whores?
That may bump his score beyond Jesus' resurrection.
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