Cap'n Flak Movie Reviews: Knight Rider

What is the perfect equation for a television show to attract a primarily 18-35 male audience demographic?

550hp 2008 FORD MUSTANG GT500KR
x (VAL KILMER'S VOICE)
+ HOT LESBIANS
÷ THE HOFF!
+ MORE HOT GIRLS
√ (MODIFIED C-130 TRANSPORT AIRCRAFT)
- THAT SENATOR ASSHOLE GUY FROM THE X-MEN MOVIES
x (THE CHICK THAT PLAYED DR. LEAH BRAHMS IN STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION)
= ON BALLS.

NBC did their research and did it right. Ok, so the acting in the new made-for-tv movie Knight Rider was horrible and the writing was cheesy at best. But, who gives a crap? That car was kick ass, the chicks were smokin' and the driver was hoffin'!

Personally, I am not the least bit ashamed to admit that I loved it.

I thought it was hilarious that the good guys were all driving Fords and the bad guys were all driving Chevys (with the badges removed). After all, this was a $50,000,000 Ford commercial, but I don't give a crap! It worked for me. They even extended the show into the commercials which told the story of Mike Traceur (Michael Knight's son) going on a date in a Ford Focus while being stalked by KITT. Lame, but cute. I was feeling a semi-sick feeling of being over-sold and further ashamed of my Mazda MPV Runabout (aka: Minivan.)

Sure, the Hoff looked old, but who cares! He's The Hoff! At least he wasn't crawling around on the kitchen floor in a drunken stupor eating cheeseburgers. Although, if he had been doing that, I wouldn't have given a flip flap flying fuck all anyway!

In short: I love the new KITT so much that I'm going to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.


PS: Does anyone else besides me want a little LiLo action after looking at this?