Snake Eyes

My interview with Snake Eyes.

I recently had the chance to interview the most awesome G.I. Joe hustla of all time, Mr. Snake Eyes.

Murk: Good evening Mr. Snake Eyes.

Snake Eyes: .....

Murk: I hope you enjoyed your flight.

Snake Eyes: .....

Murk: So, there's been a lot of fucked up stuff going on between you and Cobra, huh?

Snake Eyes: .....

Murk: You know, some people speculate that you, with your shady past, used to be a Cobra operative.

Snake Eyes: .

Murk: Well?

Snake Eyes: (draws sword)

Murk: Okay, nevermind.

Snake Eyes: (lays sword on his lap)

Murk: People wanr to know, back when Duke took over, you were unhappy. You liked that bearded guy better, right?

Snake Eyes: .....

Murk: Well, he had that fifty cal machine gun. I know I'd trust him over a guy with a pistol and a bad haircut, too.

Snake Eyes: (looks at grenage belt)

Murk: What's your favorite kind of pizza?

Snake Eyes: .....

Murk: I'll buy you some if you'll be my friend.

Snake Eyes: (thumbs up)

Murk: Okay, so bananas and achovies it is. How the hell are you going to eat it?

Snake Eyes: ?

Murk: You'll have to take off your mask.

Snake Eyes: !!!!!

Murk: Well, I don't know. Maybe you could trust me. You said we were friends.

Snake Eyes: (stands up and heads for the door)

Murk: Hey. What am I going to do with the pizza? I hate bananas.

Snake Eyes: ..!..

Murk: Asshole.


After removing the shuriken from my forehead and watching good old Snake Eyes ambush the delivery boy, I realized something important. Man was not meant to be friends with Snake Eyes. All we could do was maintain an uneasy relationship of respect and fear.

As I watched him go, I waved and a tear fell from my eye. Whatever the fuck he is, he kicks ass.