Last Photo of Heath Ledger
This is the last know photo of Heath Ledger, taken moments before his death. As he hopped into his Delorian, he was overheard saying, "If I can jump the Snake River Canyon, you owe me ten Oreos." The fire hydrant did not respond.
Police estimate he was doing 120 when he died. 120 grams of COKE that he was SMOKING from a GLASS PIPE as he made his first and, supposedly, last attempt to drive over the edge of the known universe.
"DRUGS!," he shouted out of the window of his car in downtown Austin Texas, "Who's got 'em who needs 'em??? I LOVE DRUGS!" The car vanished, leaving only blazing tire tracks and a baffled Marty McFly behind.
Somehow his body ended up in that apartment wherever. Detectives speculate that he had actually taken enough substances to generate 1.21 gigawats of psychic power and leapt into another dimension, discarding his body in the process.
Tom Cruise admitts that he has seen Ledger's spirit since. "Hahaha, yeah. We have those answers too. Ha. Heath ha ha is in my ha ha house doing the Thetan Dance with my wives ha. Oh. I LOVE Heath. When I was sane, I used to have a poster of him in my bathroom. I've watched that cowboy porno he did. I, um, got grossed out and now I like birds. Hawks mostly. I fuck hawks."
So, fear not dear reader. Heath is somewhere, probably in Hell with the rest of the dead actors.
RIP, my best friend ever.
posted by Dr. Robert J. Murk @ 11:26 AM
6 Comments:
Hey Jackoff, no respect for the dead?
tom cruise only thinks he saw heath's spirit, and that's cause he wanted heath to give him the brokeback treatment.
Ooops. I forgot. The Wand of Wonder: Respect the Dead.
The dead don't care what I say. It's the living who should be offended.
More outrage please!
I'll be dead when I am sleeping
that must be a joke.
Ya think?
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