For all you bitchy critics out there....

The time has come...

...to OUT Dr. Murk's wife.

Well, I'm going to be the one to do it.

Here is a picture of Mrs. Dr. Murk.

Ain't she sumthin'?

I want to throttle someone.

Dave.
Most of you know Malach the internet celebrity, some of you know Malach out of cyberspace. Malach is the Director of Disability Services for a very large non-profit in SouthEastern, MA. Malach is very good at his job, and gets refferred a ton of cleints. Recently I have even been chosen to do a number of presentations about what I do, and the company I work for, to our funding sources, and was filmed for a national Catholic Charities campaign (one of our funding sources). I might post the film here when I get a copy. We will see.

So, Malach is now dealing with the most frustrating case he has had to deal with in the 10+ years I have been working disability services. I was going to try and protect the client, but the client is so famous/infamous in the Greater New Bedford Area, I can't, but I did change his name so I won't get sued. Most people will immediatley recognize this guy. Dave is a homeless gentlemen with a traumatic brain injury (TBI). He lives in various places: The Capri Motel, the area around Coffin and Acushnet Avenue, with whomever will give him a room. He is not nessecarily bound to a wheelchair but uses one fairly extensively. He can be typically found hanging on the corner, flashing the peace sign to passing pedestrians and motorists. Much is of his day is spent hanging out, chilling with his homies. Unfortunatley that makes him a public nusiance, and he occasionally like to light up a joint right on the street.

Dave, was a very troubled youth, and "real bad dude", in his own words, before his TBI. He was a small time drug dealer, a thug, and would not hesitate to jump some random guy to steal his money. At age 19, he was a passenger in a motor vehicle vs. large boulder accident; he was not wearing a seatbelt. Injuries resulting from the accident included massive damage to his frontal lobe, part of which had to be removed. After 3 months in a coma, and two years of rehabilitation, Dave was left with severe balance and motor control issues in his lower extremities, and right side of the body, and a functioning IQ of around 85 (Boderline Intellectual functioning). Dave was immediatley put on SSDI, recieved rehabilitation services from MRC, and went home. This was 20 years ago.

To make a long story short. Dave's family, was less than capable of caring for Dave. His brothers were all gang bangers, and nowadays they are either dead, in jail or about to go to jail. Dave's mother (never knew Father) couldn't handle him, proceeded to take his settlement's from the accident, blow it all on drugs, and kick him out of the house. So needless to say Dave has spent the last 15 years, going from apartment, to the streets, to rooms, to hotel rooms, to the streets. Dave has been and out of jail, mainly for possession or marijuana. Dave got a rep payee about 8 years ago, which has helped stabilize his money issues but not his life.

Sowhere does Malach come in? As Dave has gotten older, his life has steadily gone down a downward sprial. Over the past 3 years, not only has Dave been chronically homeless, he has been arrested for possession 4 times and once for public exposure (urinating). The basic MO is as follows. Dave find a place to live (he can afford it), because of his mental fuctioning he becomes lonely and unable to do typical living skills. So he invites everyone off the street to come live with him, who more than take advantage of him. Either the house is overcrowded or the people he invites are big time dealers, so he gets evicted. Since he is known across the city as a possible dealer, and health hazard, landlords are leery to rent to him.

So several organizations have tried to take him on as a case over the past 5 years. Either Dave did not want the help, so they dropped; these organizations couldn't find any resources and dropped him; or they found a landlord to take him in and then drop him. Needless to say, in that time, Dave has not only burned a number of bridges with homelessness providers, he has the police, local businesses, and local politicians pissed off and annoyed with him. Again he does get arrested a number of time, but the corrections systems have no idea what to do with him, so let him go. He has spent no more than a week in jail.

So in October he came to Malach. At that time, he was homeless and on probabition. He had been homeless for close to a year. When the new Mayor came into office, solving Dave was a first priority for him, and the Mayor called Malach's boss, which turn made it Malach's poject. So right away Malach find out a few things.

1. Dave can not only afford an apartment, since he is been homeless for so long, he could probably afford a mortgage, and has a pretty good sum of money saved up.
2. Dave does not qualify for DMH services, the city had him committed and the found no finding, not surprisingly.
3. Dave does not qualfiy for DMR services, again not surprisingly.
4. While Dave does qualify for HUD based housing for the homeless, the local agency that does single men, refuse him entrance becuase of the amount of services he might need, and his drug use (they deal with mostly Herion and Crack addicts there).

That is about the extent of what previous organization have tried with him. So, Malach, works with his rep payee, and get him a hotel room for the time being. Malach immiediately recognizes that the only services Dave would qualify for is MRC-SHIP whch of course none of the other local service agencies were even familiar with. SHIP will not only provide him with housing, but staffing, and life skill training; what he really needs. In addtion, they can provide him with the Health Services he also needs and help him with his descision making. Ok, so MRC is slow moving organization taking anywhere from 3 - 6 months to get a client serviced. Malach not only applied locally, he applies directly to SHIP. In the meatime, in an effort to save Dave some money . . I got him a placement at our men's shelter in Tauton, a placement that took about a month to get. Needless to say, Dave was not happy there being away from his city and people, after about 2 weeks, he hopped a bus back to New Bedford, and once again was homeless. Still had not heard from MRC, so I began calling their Boston Main Office and began the MRC runaround.

It took no more than a day, for Clyde to find someone to rent a room to him. Malach was leery, but he stayed there for another month, all the while I was lighting (or trying tolight) a fire under MRC's ass. Of course the guy who rented the room was busted for selling crack, and the landlord purged the apatement; Dave was homeless again. Malach get's him back to the Capri, square one.

It has been 3 months now since submitting his application to MRC, and no matter who I call or speak too, they don't seem to get it. I am EXTREMELY frustrated, and so is Dave. I have tried everything. Public Housing/Disability (can't go, criminal record). Dave is awesome guy, he just needs the help. GET OFF YOUR ASS MRC!

I am Malach and Dave reconnects me to the street.

Hump Day ...what no jokes?

Sorry folks, I’m interrupting hump day jokes to bring you this ....

The HPV Vaccine (HPV stands for Human Papilloma Virus)

The HPV vaccine is a major medical advance in the fight against cervical cancer. Almost all cervical cancers are the result of an HPV infection. HPV is very common. Research shows that as many as 80% of sexually active people catch HPV at some time in their lifetime. It has been estimated that 30%-40% of sexually active females in college would test positive for HPV at any given time. Many people with HPV do not have any signs or symptoms. Roughly 6.2 million people in the United States are infected with HPV each year. The burden of this infection in the U.S. creates about 9,700 new cases of cervical cancer each year, as well at 3,700 annual deaths.

Bottom line ..it helps prevent cervical cancer.

I know most parents do not want to take their young daughter in to get this in fear that she might think it’s okay to have sex. But if you spoke with her and told her the reasons why she should have the vaccine she would understand and I believe in the long run she would be thankful you got her this help. But again ...the bottom line I see is ...IT HELPS PREVENT CERVICAL CANCER! And for those that say "my daughter is saving herself for marriage and would not benefit from this vaccine", I hate to say it but who is to say the man she gives herself to hasn’t given himself to someone carrying the virus. You just don’t know so why take the chance.

What are your thoughts? I have no kids but believe me if I had a daughter I would line up for this. Sure that’s easy for me to say not having a daughter, I do think and believe this is a great medical breakthrough and we should take advantage of it.

It would be like them finding a vaccine against lung cancer. Would it make you run out and smoke more? Would you hold yourself back from getting the shot? Or would you be thankful that there is something in this world that could help people? Or even a tetanus shot, would it make you run out and step on rusty nails?

This is not a joke .......IT HELPS PREVENT CERVICAL CANCER!

And for you men out there, currently there is no HPV vaccine available for men. However, studies are underway to prove the effectiveness of a HPV vaccine for males.

Thank you for your time, Hump Day Jokes will resume next week.

The Moral of this Story?

So this 52 year old guy was sentenced to 200 years for possession of twenty images of child abuse on his computer…

This guy, however was sentenced to 152 years for actually molesting TWO twelve year old kids.

So I guess if you have sick urges it's better in this case to just give in, right? I mean the 52 year old pervert is clearly a danger to society, and should be somehow dealt with, but I'm a little tired of seeing crazy shit like this when you have people convicted of actually murdering and raping out of jail after a mere 30 years.

One would almost think sentencing laws are based on the hysterical revenge fantasies of society instead of justice.

Today's WoW Visual Trivia

QUESTION:

Who put the Recognizer in the Roadway?

ANSWERS:

a) The clever little bitch Mr. Malach The Merciful.

b) Dude, don't be stupid. It was Sark.
He's a dick. Everyone knows that.

c) I don't care what a recognizer is because
I just want to have sex with Cap'n Flak!

d) DICK.... CHENEY!

Shift Happens

This is very interesting, it made me think.

I am Malach and I am being filmed at 1:00PM EST.

Latest Digital Art Files from the Captain's Desktop

• The Second Doorway
• Shadow Play
• Perpetual Motion
• Phaeton's Firefly
• Return To Hell's Factory
• Total Chaos
• Pieces of The Puzzle
• Late Crustaceous
• Cellular Metaphase
• Internal Combustion
• Electrical Onslaught

BONUS IMAGES:

• Antechamber of The Great Hall
• The Great Hall of Mirrors
  

A public service announcement to those in the Boston area

Do not use http://boston.openguides.org for anything. I know it may come up first on a Google search, if you type in a location name, but the place is actually as useful as a screen door in a submarine.

I looked up a place using them and the address was totally wrong. Too bad I didn't find this out until I missed the event I was trying to get to!

Why?

Because the site is an wiki. Not only that, it's a wiki with NO sign up requirements, you can just post anonymously, and thus anyone can add whatever the fuck they want! That's a bad enough problem with intentional vandalism, but it's even worse when you let some passenger on the internet shortbus post their idiocy.

So I ask a simple question; Why the FUCK do you have a site that is supposed to be a "go to" for finding places in Boston if you, as the reader, can't trust that any of the shit that is there is real?! For fuck's sake, if you want a site that lets people post opinions about great spots in Boston fine, but don't have a field for the ADDRESS and PHONE NUMBER if that is not guaranteed to be 100% accurate! Why is that such a hard concept!?

Assholes. Stupid stupid assholes.

I hope they catch on fire.

And now, back to the show...

HEY-HEY!

Christmas Podcast

Hey guys and dolls! Just wanted to personally apologize for how late the Christmas Podcast was! Sorry! Ha ha. Got a little busy there, ya know???? :)

Ahhhh.

Now.

Fuck you Malach. You bitched for 2 straight months. "Where's the Podcast?" "Where's the Podcast?" "Where's the Podcast?" Well, fist off, see how it's only an hour and change long? It takes time to cut that up. You two hacks walk in farting and eating my food, record for two hours and then pat yourselves on the back for how hard you work and how funny you both are.

You two are funny 1/2 the time. The other half is burping, sighing, giggling um um um umum. It takes 5 hours of editing to clean up 1 hour of recording. Then, I have to reset the volume levels so that when one of you two clowns moves his mike too close or too far, it sounds normal or as close to normal as possible. Another 2 hours. Then, I have to add the effects like bleeping J*sse D*b*c's name 15 times and doing the vices for Jon Bennet and friends. 4 hours. The, the interview. 8 hours. That's 24 hours, not counting save time and upload time. Any time you want to buy the expensive mics, the software and spend 2 years learning to squeeze every square bit of it, you can take the job!

As far as it sucking, it did until I cut half of it. You cite the Jacko interview and the Jon Bennet thing... both POST production to pull this LOUSY podcast out of the crapper it was in. So, shut the fuck up already.

And Crumb, any time YOU want to make a podcast, go ahead. Until then, don't say a fucking word about how many I should or shouldn't have completed.

It's been well chronicled on my blog and here that I am going through some major life changes. Big deal. Aren't we all right? Well... no. Not like this. I'll let you in on one episode where my arms seemed to stretch across the kitchen a good 20 feet. Messing with the brain's chemicals is nasty scary business.

So, have a bit of sympatico. Especially if you're the one who claims to deal with 'people like me' every day. I hope you treat your clients better than you treat your brother.

Latest Digital Art Files from the Captain's Desktop

• The Boy
• Arctic Decent
• Edison's Dream
• House On High
• Ghosts In The Window
• Medulla Oblongata
• Visions of Seurat

BONUS IMAGES:

• More Light
• Peering In
  

Today's WoW Fashion Suggestion for MEN

Mitt Romney, the exclusive interview with the WoW.

Thurday 2/22/07; Gold Base, Gilman Hot Springs, CA, 3:42 AM .
The WoW caught up with presidential candidate Romney on the campaign trail in California. He agreed to do this exclusive interview for the WoW to show how he is perfect to lead this country.

The WoW (W): So Mitt, you want to be president, why?
Mitt (M): Mitt wants the presidency, yes Mitt does. He wants it so he can come in to each persons home every night and tuck them into bed, and provide a better United States for all of Mitt's subjects. Their eyes plead to Mitt.
W: How do you propose you accomplish that?
M: Well Mitt has ideas, brilliant ideas. Mitt thinks to him self, what is wrong with the world today? The War in Iraq, sure; our failing economy, hardly; global warming, hey I hate winter. No the one big problem Mitt sees in this world is the destuction of family. Between all the faggots, dead beat dads, and lack of polygamy in this country, our family structure has fallen apart, and this not only makes Mitt mad, it makes the all-mighty Xenu mad as well. Mitt must be the next GodKing!
W: What? Xenu? GodKing?
M: Mitt did not say Xenu, he said Mormontolgy Jesus-
W: No you did - -
M: Do not talk back to Mitt! I am not finished! So Mitt will solve the world's problems as follows. Anyone who is a faggot, an unmarried parent, or any man married to only one person will be immediatley executed, that will solve the problems of excess population, the poor, and homosexuality in one swoop. Can we fix it? YES MITT CAN!
W: So you plan on killing most of the population of the US?
M: Do not put words in Mitt's mouth, Mitt is not killing anyone, unless they can provide me an adaquate blodd supply, yes, Mitt needs blood, but no dirty fag blood.
W: What the -
M: Stop interrupting Mitt, blasphemer, and after I invade China, and and replace all the Chinese with good Mormontologist, the US will be buying Chinese goods from the US (at this point Romney breaks out is insane high pitched laughter which lasts about 2 minutes).
W: --- Um, your nuts.
M: Dez Nutz? Do you want Mitt's Nutz? I knew you were a fag, gaurds get him! They are so huge that they won't fit into a Hutt's Mouth! GUARDS!
W: Who are you talking too?
M: What are you talking about, Mitt is famous, Mitt interviews for Wand of Wonder! When Mitt President he will make it illegal for anyone but him to read Wand of Wonder now start dancing fagboy! Mitt President! Reading the Wand of Wonder! Beetles in Mitt's Eyes!
W: What is all this about Blood, China, Homosexuality? You have me confused!
M: No more confused that a fag gently pumping his lovers buttocks, slowly and pleasurably! 1 - 2 - 3 AND THURST! Oh yes, take that it Elroy Jetson! Mitt must have your Blood. (the high pitched laughing begins again). Fill the crevice with your mighty red juice of life! I need DEZ NUTZ! Mitt has seen the golden plates! Mitt has seen the inner circle! When the DC 8s come, only Mitt can save you!
W: Mitt, what about a womans right to choose?
M: What did you say? (Mitt becomes very red with rage, his face contorting into frightening contortions and just then 76 Plymouth Caravan Van appear, three men in gold jumpsuits jump out, grab Mitt and drive off). I am left with only this card.

I am Malach and I am scared!

I, Captain Flak Paperpants, have discovered the greatest Presidential Candidate the WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

it will take some keen science and,
perhaps a touch of science fiction,
but I honestly believe we can combine
Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama
into one, single super female minority
awesome candidate known only as....

BARAHILL OBAMALINTON!

BEHOLD THEIR COMBINED
MIGHT AND POWER!!!!

I thank you for your time.


This message approved by Barahill Obamalinton.

Today's WoW Visual Trivia

QUESTION:
What is David Warner,
circa 1984, looking at?

ANSWERS:
a) The nape of Cindy's Morgan's neck!
b) The awesome graphics in the TRON Arcade!
c) Some teenager that was totally checking him out!
d) The MCP. MY GOD, IT'S THE MCP! RUN! RUN! RUN!

Hump Day Jokes ...

What insect crows at sunrise?
... A cockroach.

Why did mama Flea look so sad?
... All her children were going to the dogs.

What do bugs have that no other animal has?
... Baby buggies.

What is the best year for grasshoppers?
... Leap year!

~*~*~

A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

~*~*~

A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices
when suddenly, the woman reaches over and slices off the mans penis and angrily tosses it out
the window of the car.

Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a man and his 10 year old daughter chatting away
beside him. All of the sudden, the penis smacks the pickup in the windshield and flies off.

Surprised, the daughter asks her daddy, "Daddy what in the heck was that ?!?"

Not wanting to expose his 10 year old daughter to sex at such a tender age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."

The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute,

she says. "Sure had a big dick."

~wicked hump day love~

Adminstrative Issues

OK, we have not switched to the new Blogger.
It has confused some of our contributers here, but Blogger/Google is unable to switch the WoW at this time as it is "very popular, high bandwidth, has a lot of members, and a lot of articles". So, you cannot sign into this blog using your Google ID. When you get to the sign in screen, there is a link that says "sign in using old Blogger" or something to that effect. It will take you to a different sign in screen, and you sign in using your old account information.

Google/Blooger is "well aware of the situation" and they are "working to fix it" for about 3 months now.

Some fun keyphrases WoWees use to find us
As always it amazes what web search phrase people use to find us, especially the funny ones. As an aside, a recently popular one used to find my website: Naked Kate.

psycho sociology of klingon fans - So if I get this one correct, your are trying to figure out the sociology of psycho kilngon fans. Well, this would have been a good thesis for my ex-fiance'.
health gord difficult to swallow regurgitating food and drink - Yeah I got something else that is difficult for you to swallow.
dukes of hazzard hup ton zum downloaden - Ehh we speaka no engrish
home clothes squizze machine - This has to have to do with something about the Angry Veteran
briefs squizze ya balls - Hey, don't you idiots know how to spell Squeeze?
youtube blak girl sex - uh, try a porn video site.
what color is the blue scooby doo behr paint - Scooby would be brown.
there's one thing i want to say so i'll be brave you were what i wanted i gave what i gave i'm not sorry i met you i'm not sorry it's overi'm not sorry there's nothing to save - nothing a self inflicted gunshot wound won't cure.
something you throw away - Wow, my next GoogleBomb project, something your throw away
meth-fueled orgy gay sex - And that is the Angry Piper.
i saw my sister mastubate - I saw her too bucko
angry wife puts smelly feet on husbands face dvd - I though I destroyed that video.
anatomy of a vagaina - What the Hell is a vagaina?
mexican child porn - Toyi's fault

OK, I listened to the Murk and Malach Show.
I and must say, Mukr has no idea what he was talkng about. I had to stop it several times as co workers thought I was dying I was laughing so hard. Check it out. Some highlights . . . The Jacko interview, JonBenet meet her new roomate, and Murk imitating the Angry Veteran having sex . . . and THURST! 2, 3, 4 THURST!

I am Malach and I am the father of Tom Brady's baby.

How to Explain ENRON to Your Children

The following system can be used to explain the biggest corporate bankruptcy (that is, until WorldCom, a few months later). Simply explain each economic system in terms of what happens to your two cows.

Feudalism:
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of
them, and sells you the milk.

Communism:
You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you share the milk.

Totalitarianism:
You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.

Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Venture Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

WoWism:
You have two cows. You take pictures of the cows, digitally modify them and post them up on the blog. You receive several insulting comments which causes you to post a separate message about how you were just trying to contribute and that there is nothing wrong with digitally modified images of your cows. Your post is ignored, save one comment from a incest porn site. You sell the cows for beer money.

Cowabunga, dude!

Dude, my buddies and I are, like,
totally psyched for this movie!

The podcast she is up Cap'n!

*NEW* Show 13: Christmas with the Piper *NEW*
Yeah Buckos its late, and Murk says it is the biggest piece of crap he has ever heard, but it is here, Murk and Malach Christmas 2006. With our annual Christmas guest, the Angry Piper, we have a disgusting egg nog drinking contest, we interview Jacko, give out presents, and we get Jon Benet Ramsey in a Jar a new playmate. Merry Christmas! 2 months late.


MP3 or Real Media

I am Malach the King of all Internet Media!

What a scam!!!

uhmmm, you know I am sooo through with Airlines, I travel regularly out of the country and the scams are always handy, now I realize that is not only to travel out of the country but also in local flights.
Well is incredible how things change and I don't understand why this hasn't been caught by any bureau yet.
In old days a person was used to book a flight and that was it, you pick where you want to sit, even the rates where more stable being permanent for at least 2 or 3 days etc etc.
Now a days, you go on line and try to buy a flight, the rates change any minute and even change from seat to seat, the worst thing is that you are buying a seat that is not yours because I believe after 911, airlines have claim nothing else but losses, yet let me tell you that I do believe is backwards.

By my own experience and because I also buy the tickets for family members, I have realize that airlines are only winning lots out of this, here the trick... and please have it very present when you travel, If the airline is telling you to be there within 3 hours for check up, you better be there right 3 hours before... otherwise you could be sent home.
This is what they do, e.i. If the plane has 100 seats, the airline will book 200 or so... the 1st 100 people to check up will be the ones to go, everybody else (the ones who came 2 hours or so before departure time) will be sent home or as they wish; placed in the next plane, charge a fee (for being late) and also charge the difference in rate for the flight that they will be boarding. So just figure, if 30 people were left and desired to take the next plane... that plane will be already overbooked plus 30 more seats taken.... we can assume 30 people in the next flight will be left + the ones who where overbooked and got there less than 3 hours to departure time, What the airlines are lossing? Nothing, nothing, the customers are.. we are, we end up paying more plus receiving a bad customer service.

That happened to me in a trip to Florida, thank God that I fought and got to flight the next day with no fees or increases, but I guess I was just a little lucky, but other friends of mine have not had the same luck, so....
Remember, next time you travel, make sure to be there 3 hours earlier not less... so you are sure that the Airline will not give you its back.

Only in Australia

So, THAT'S what goes on down there.

My New Pipes

Actually, these German bagpipes belong to Wulf, one of my MySpace friends (which means he's not someone I actually know).

They sure do sound cool, though. And they look like they could tenderize a steak.

Check out what they sound like here.

Heart disease and science's retardation of life

Now that I have partaken in the "Dangerous Bug" bit........which by the way, Fat Bug is still an ass-kickin comic....

I have a rant!

With that said.....

THIS SHIT IS WRONG!

Experimenting on animals for any reason is WRONG. God did not put us here to genetically re-create dis-ease in animals so that we can figure out how to remain alive for 10 more years.

Guess what?
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

And if you have an issue with not wanting to develope heart dis-ease, STOP EATING FATTY FOODS!

Idiots.

I'm not saying to go out and join PETA......no......but I do think that you should educate yourself on the practices of experimenting on animals, buy animal friendly products and write to your representative and let them know how you feel about scientific research being done on animals, especially in a case such as this.

Request that the United States follow the example of the United Kingdom and the European Union and ban testing on animals.

Representatives:

The Honorable ____________
U.S. House of Representatives
Washington, DC 20515

find your representatives at www.house.gov

Senators:

Senator ____________
U.S. Senate
Washington, DC 20510

find your representatives at www.senate.gov

SAVE THE ANIMALS!!!!

This is the most dangerous bug - EVER

I've always wanted a bug.......

No, You Dorks...

This is the world's most dangerous bug. Don't believe me? This is Dr. Mantodea, as drawn by one of his "experiments" who miraculously escaped the Doc's secret island laboratory. The artist was once a Nobel Prize-winning geneticist. Now he just drools a lot.

Dr. Mantodea is without a doubt the world's most dangerous bug, for bug he is, having lost whatever vestigial remnants of humanity he possessed. Can Fat Bug make a nuclear weapon? Not likely. Is whatever the hell that thing the Cap'n posted a pic of contemplating the destruction of humanity even as we speak? Doubt it.

But Dr. Mantodea is.

I support you, Malach!

This is the world's most dangerous bug:

Actually, I have no idea
if it is dangerous or not.

I just know that I would
freak the fuck out if I saw one.

Yes, I am a bug-fearing pussy.

Malach has a favor to ask.

I am trying to create a Google Bomb.
So this morning, looking at my webstats, I have noticed my site got hit once for the phrase world's most dangerous bug. Of course I assumed it was Fat Bug, and looking at Google, Fat Bug shows up in like the 3 page for that phrase.

So here is the favor. Anywhere you possibly can, forums, blogs, whatever, type the phrase world's most dangerous bug and link it directly to the Fat Bug main page. This page right here. Hopefully give it a month or so, and I am hoping that if you type world's most dangerous bug, or even dangerous bug and hit I'm Feeling Lucky, you will go right to Fat Bug.

Thanks buckos and WoWees.

I am Malach and I love the "Googe".

Today's Crime Against Nature

Nerds: like Spider-Man because he is everything they aren't
Children: Like Spider-Man because he...is...ok, so there isn't much of a difference.

Still, how can you take one of the coolest comic book heroes of all time and make him sing an insultingly relevant song while doing gangsta rap poses? And, on top of that, they kept Tobey Maguire's voice.

I'm very disappointed in you, Stan Lee. If you had only told me you were in the hole I'd give you a place to stay until you can get back on your feet. This is not the answer.

Latest Digital Art Files from the Captain's Desktop

• Objects In Mirror
• Data Stream
• The Doorway
• Stop Lights
• Hell's Factory
• Eyes of Horus
• Tower of Babel
• Reflections of Mars
• Like A Reed In The Wind

BONUS IMAGES:

• Lost Tunnel
• Frozen Wasteland
• Ripple Effect

I Haven't Read a Damn Thing On Here in Days!!!

Read this.

In other news, people are killing people right now and it's your job to grab a gun and stop them. Design your costume and GET OUT THERE!

And go visit some sick people in the old folks homes. Love that smell.

Happy sailing

Murk

Messin' with the POTUS.

BEFORE:


AFTER:

(and finally, click here to
view one that is NSFW)

Have a Realistic Valentine's Day

Happy Hallmark Day!

Pay $3 for a folded piece of thick paper with ink on it that costs literally cents to mass produce.

Pay an unreasonable amount for a plant that will die in a week that came free from the ground you walk on.

Buy the person in your life a mineral that is sold in minute quantities to keep demand and price up but is in huge reserves at the source.

Buy that special someone a liquid that is easily produced by the gallon for low costs but somehow increases exponentially in value when it is placed in a spray bottle that has someone's name on it. Bonus points if it contains foreign words or the names of foreigners on the box. The more expensive, the better it smells.

Do you smell it? It's the stench of capitalism.

Feed the greed. The media encourages you to give in to those romantic thoughts you think you've been having on this day. You haven't had a psychological seed planted into your subconscious by societal expectations at all. You really are above peer pressure. You don't need to fit in. Expensive gifts are necessary. Those really are your thoughts. You really do love him or her. You're perfectly happy. This is your day. Enjoy it. Enjoy it.

Happy Valentine's Day, o' ye sniveling slaves of the grind.

Happy St. Valentines Day!

On this date in 1929,
the "St. Valentine's Day Massacre"
took place in a Chicago garage as
seven rivals of Al Capone's gang
were brutally gunned down.

Hump Day Jokes...

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation.

When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood.

When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."

After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain "Man! My hands are really freezing!" She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up.

After dinner, he g