Things Not To Say

In the spirit of the Holidays, fuck off angry women bitch! And for you guys out there, some ammo for the next round of humilliating psycho fit throwing by your woman:

Things we don't say to our wives, but wish we did:

"The point is, we both know you could have done a lot better than me... and still been just as pissed off at that lucky guy."

"Truth is you should have married a slave dressed up as a punching bag."

"Look, I made some tea for you to drink while eating my soul."

"You're right. I need to do more around the house. And I will. Just let me finish rubbing your feet and back and doing the laundy and shoveling the walk and making you dinner and clearing the dishes and carrying you to bed so that I can leave your TV programs on while I watch you sleep."

"You bitch. Sorry, but it's so true."

"I believe we agreed to two blow jobs per year."

"Wow. Well since you put it that way, I'm super motivated and wicked happy to grant all your fucking wishes, my Queen."

"How did I get so lucky? And to think, I could have been hit by a car and killed and missed all this."

"Next thing you know you'll be asking me to help with all the whining and the bitching too."

"I'm sorry honey. I'll make it up to you. Here. You go to bed and I'll sit up crying for you."

"We can't always get what we want. I wanted less yelling at me. Did I get it?"

"I'll agree to be more understanding if you'll make enough sense to understand."