The 10 things I will do Today

These are entirely more entertaining than Capt. PaperFlakWhateverPants.

1. Masterbate in the shower (check.)
2. Write a porographic story to another blogger (this person shall remain anonymous)
3. See Alvin and the Chipmunks against my will.
4. Refuse extra cheese on my sandwich at lunch
5. Do stomach crunches to distract myself from the obesity statistics of Wisconsin.
6. Try to hide my snide haughtiness that I do not live in Wisc.
7. Become frustrated for the gazillionth time at the dial up I am using.
8. Refuse cheese shreddings in my dinner salad.
9. James Bond sneak some bourbon into my eggnog.
10. Retire early to my room to send filthy text messages to my lady whores.