Five (More) Women The Angry Piper Would Totally Do The Sex With (Besides Toyita)

In case you missed my September post, here's a link. I've been thinking about it since then, and I've come up with five more future candidates for post-traumatic stress disorder. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Lili Taylor: She made honorable mention last time (no doubt she's very proud of that), but I just saw Factotum and was reminded how incredibly hot she is, so she's officially on the list this time around. Only trouble is, she somewhat resembles Eve (but without the huge tits), and the thought of doing anything remotely sexual with Eve fills me with...icky.

2. Salma Hayek: Speaking of tits, I sure love this picture. I can't believe I forgot about her the first time around.

3. Amy Winehouse: To all the guys out there, I ask you: Could you just imagine?

4. Iron Chef Cat Cora: Oh, hell yes. And she's way sexier than Mario Batali.

5. P J Harvey: Probably the only woman Malach and I would fight over, like Kirk and Spock in "Amok Time", complete with dramatic music and sharp, pointy sticks. More than anyone else on either list, I FUCKING LOVE THIS WOMAN.

Those who know me may be shocked by the exclusion of any big girls. You may ask: is it possible The Angry Piper is changing his tastes? Fuck no. I'm still all about the big girls. But there are very few famous big girls, and fewer still that are attractive.

And don't worry, Toyi: you're still my rock & roll fantasy.