Just What You All Have Been Waiting For...

Thanks for inviting me to contribute to this, folks. It's flattering deep down in my fat monkey heart. It also speaks to your wisdom and depth of kickasstasticness enough to recognize what drunken sack of chaos I am, and how that could add to your community blog.

Sooooo to tell you a little about me, my likes include unicorns, throwing water balloons at prostitutes, watching Magnum PI and rubbing one out, becoming excessively drunk and belligerant, posting fake Craigs List 'Missed Connections', porn, eating fried chicken; side note: OMFG in Minneapolis, there is this great bar that combines two of my greatest loves, with free fried chicken and hardcore potent drinks that caught me off guard the first time to where I became so shitfaced, I ended up falling into my friends shower, even though I wasn't even trying to take a shower.

My dislikes include, but are not limited to: people that smell bad, arbys, spiders, guys with popped collars, people who cannot hold their liquor, boring dumbasses that have nothing of substance to say, and bigotry directed towards pirates.

This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship, and not the kind you see on cops when they come out to the trailer park and give some guy in a ketchup stained shirt a taser ride for beating his wife.

XOXOXOXO
~Tequila Mockingbird