If You Haven't

If you haven't listened to the YFI Call In Show yet... you're a Carmelite. Don't be a complete Hoosier! Download the YFI Call In Show today!

EPISODE 1: The Pilot Episode. mp3 or rm

or, visit the podcasts page.

I know there about 200 of you out there. It's a small file and it needs your help. So listen and feedback at hex2323@yahoo.com

For the Contributor who pouts and cries the most

This sounds pretty cool to me!

British public broadcaster Channel 4 is courting controversy with what it calls a "shockingly real" drama about the fictional assassination of President George W. Bush.

"Death of a President," shot in the form of a documentary examining the assassination, will use a blend of archival footage and computer-generated special effects to portray Bush in October 2007 arriving in Chicago during an anti-war rally.

In the film, Bush is killed by a sniper, and the investigation quickly focuses on a Syrian-born man. It will air in October on Channel 4's More4 digital channel, as well as at the Toronto Film Festival in September.

"It's a pointed political examination of what the war on terror is doing to the American body politic," said More4 boss Peter Dale at a press conference on Thursday.

Promotional materials described the program as "a thought-provoking critique of the contemporary U.S. political landscape."

Dale acknowledged that the program will be controversial, but maintained that it was a sophisticated work meant to spur debate.

"I'm sure there will be people upset by it," he said. "I hope people will see the intention as a good one."

Channel 4, which is publicly owned but funded by advertising, was criticized last week by outgoing ITV Chief Executive Charles Allen for its reliance on reality TV shows and "shock docs."

More4's autumn schedule also includes "The Trial of Tony Blair," a satirical program about the future resignation of the British Prime Minister.

Other upcoming fictitious British movies include:

• When France Won The War
• Neo Nazi's Discover the Cure for AIDS
• The Terrible Return of Jimmy Carter
  
• If John F. Kennedy Had Ducked
• Life Without The Mexicans
• William Wallace: The Transvestite Alchemist
  
• Canada Finally Freezes Over
• Prince Harry & The Fourth Reich
• Winston Churchill: Sober & Loving It
  

Who's ON NOTICE?

I had to!!!

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for herfirst day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up,putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it
around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Speaking of Advertising Whores

My Latest Commission is Finished

It is a "mural", 3' x 5'. It is done on strechted canvas to be portable, with a layer of grass and rice papers on top. It is a mix of Oils and Acrylic. Done in Asian style with a bit of Malach of course added to it.

So you want something like this?
All this and more is available at RubberSuit Studios. We do a bit of everything; Illustration, Fine Art, Logos and Banners, and Website Design. Everthing from children's books, to tattoos, album covers, and technical manuals.

Additionally, we host webcomic, fiction, and art galleries, all for free. Come give us a try.

Welcome
To Dr. Jen. Let see, 3 Dr's., a bunch Angries, and Cap'n . . . methinks a sitcom in order

I am Malach the master of Search Engine Optimization!

Food at School.

Have you ever looked at the menu your kids get for lunch at school? OMG we as family red our niece's yesterday, its so full of crap food. How can you give that to kids that are developing, I though seriously for a second to take the menu to a nutritionist and see what she/he says about it. No wonder why US kids are so unhealthy and weak and FAT!!!

Okay here some of the menu stuff

Cheese "or" Pepperoni French bread pizza, Baked chicken nuggets, Grilled cheese sandwich, Fruited Gelatin milk, Macaroni and cheese, Green beans.

The only thing that its sort of "okay" is the Baked Srhimp Poppers.

Hump Day Jokes!

Three old Ladies named Gertrude, Maude, and Tilly were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.

The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

Gertrude immediately had a stroke.

Then Maude, also, had a stroke.

Tilly, being the oldest, and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

===============================================

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her
two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....nice
children you've got there - are they twins?"

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?"

"No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

===============================================

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

===============================================

Hump Day Jokes!!!

A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, "Hey Koala ! What are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they burn a few. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard:"What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!" So the koala looks down at him and says: "Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude ... how much water did you drink?!!"

~*~*~*~

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically? " The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically? " The boy replied, "Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."

~*~*~*~

Little Johnny said to his Aunt Tess, "My God, you're ugly, aren't you!"

His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen. "You naughty boy!" she screamed, "How can you say to your aunt that she's ugly! You go right in and apologize to her! Tell her you're sorry!"

Little Johnny entered the living room, walked over to his aunt and said, "Aunt Tess, I am sorry you're so ugly."

~wicked love WoWeeesss~

your moment of sports

just so yall know

the oakland raiders signed jeff george after he's been retired for 5 years

i once saw choas dragoon post something about how great the raiders are going to be and how he is going to post every time they win

we can all breath easy as choas dragoon might never post again seeing as how the raiders will not win this year at least

Some Thoughts

Now, to give further information on the Captains 911 question, here are some resources:

• From Prison Planet
• a video
• a comment: "Our government can't keep a blowjob secret and we can keep 1000s of explosives experts silenced? We can't plant a single fake WMD in Iraq to save an administration but we can utterly vacum clean up all evidence of conspiracy right in front of every camera in New York?"
• Discrediting Loose Change
• An interview with someone who had the day off (note the reference to strange men in coveralls)
• More information
• And, finally: "here are a couple of good web pages that make strong arguments that both Loose Change and In Plane Site were part of a deliberate disinformation campaign - they blend false claims with true claims in order to discredit the truth movement. there is very strong evidence that 9-11 was an inside job, and a lot of serious researchers are putting it together, and Loose Change and In Plane Site both ignore most of the real evidence, while blending in a lot of false claims. mixing false claims with true claims is a common disinformation tactic. the cover of the Loose Change DVD actually sandwiches 2 false claims with 2 true claims. the websites (below) give strong evidence that both videos were intended to throw people off the scent of the real evidence of an inside job. the author of the first site writes "if it (Loose Change) is not naive, foolish, uninformed and ignorant, then it is the work of a calculating mole or at best a naïf who has been used by such." in other words, the authors of Loose Change may be trying to throw us off from the real evidence of an inside job, or they may have good intentions but have been fooled somewhat by, for example, the maker of In Plane Site: Website 1. Website 2.
  

Once again, the masses are jealous of Malach.

Ahh, so in my every 72 hours trip to Wal Mart today . . .
Guess what Malach found? Mazes and Monsters. In the $5.50 DVD bin.

(EDIT 4:58PM)
Episode 4.5 of The Wraith now loaded!

I am Malach and you are sooooo fuggin' jealous.

I'm not sorry.

Wives are the mind-killer.
Wives are the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my wife.
I will permit her to pass over me and through me.
And when she has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see her path.
Where my wife has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
PRAYING FOR DEATH
IN THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE.

Words that are not used enough

Your mission, start using these words in everday coversation, there will be a test.

Floozy
Hussy
Moxie
The Bee's Knees
Mackadocious
Fignuts!
Fly
ON BALLS!
Gasface
Bamboozle
Apothecary
Propensity

That is enough for today.

One other thing.
So they are doing some "road construction" on my dead end street which consists of redoing the sidewalk in front of my house, and two other houses. My question, why? It is not as if the side walk were even worn. And why three houses? Perhaps a vane attempt to please Malach?

I am Malach, English teacher.

9/11... fact or fiction?

As we approach the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, I still find myself pondering the events of those days and wondering... what really happened?

Did the truth unfold before my eyes as is or were those terrifying images of plane crashes, falling bodies and burning, crumbling buildings just an elaborate set up planned years in advance by sinister forces around the world?

I remember where I was, what I was doing, what I said, where I went, who I was with, the phone calls I made, the fear and excitement I felt, and the subsequent events that played out around me in the hours and days after that horrific morning.

There is a massive list of theories and various web sites offering up suggestions and "proof" that this was no simple terrorist attack bought on by extremist Muslims hell bent on killing Americans and instead, it was a massive conspriacy and cover up. Or was it?

I've had so many conversations, read so many articles and relived the memories in my head so many times over the past 5 years. I often find myself questioning what I SAW happening versus what I WAS TOLD happened.

This is all starting to feel like the Kennedy Assassination, The Apollo Moon Landings, The Attacks on Pearl Harbor, DaVinci Code this and Jesus that... etc. etc. etc.

So, that being said...

what do you think happened on September 11th, 2001?

In an effort to Ostracize the whole lot of you . .

WoW, has a new theme song . . .
By a local band called Meat Depressed.

I am Malach and All the WoWees, Don't Suck!

WoW IT'S MONDAY POLL: What the hell is this?

a) How Dr. Murk sees the world
when he is all hopped up on "E"

b) The Sex Canal Room
at Studio 54, circa 1982

c) The actual whereabouts of the
so called "SpaceFarmer"

d) A giant, German walk
through vagina exhibit

Go PATRIOTS!!!!

Oh and by the way, if you have never been to Gillette Stadium, this happens all the time.

I am Malach your Shipoopi!

Some Random Shizznickles

So wanna be a men's softball superstar?
Then look no further, Malach explains the intracacies of pitching. You too can relive your high school glory!

American Gods.
I must say, I enjoyed Murk's Review of American Gods at AngryPiper.com. It was almost as good as the book itself. Methinks Murk might take over AngryPiper.com like he took over Hill-TV. Look for a Malach book review soon.

Fun with Wikipedia.
I started a thread in one of my favorite forums called "Fun with Wikipedia". The premise was to find weird, interesting, and rediculous articles. Here are some fun ones:

A list of comic book superpowers
A list of fictional Martial Arts
My fave, Xenu
A list of Alien Races
The laws of Cartoon Physics

You want to share, post them in the comments.

Their back!
Finally.

What Shiite is Worth.
This Blog: $972
RubberSuit Studios: $2,063
Hill TV: $1,343
AngryPiper.com: $341
The Fart Party: $2,412

All your comraderie? Worthless.

I am Malach, and I have "Good News Everybody!"

The New YFI Call In Show

If you're tired of waiting for the extremely long downloads of the Murk and Malach Show and the Third Option Radio Podcast, here's a quick fix. It's the YFI Call In Show with Dr. Murk! Guests call in and ask Murk about all sorts of things. You can download in mp3 or rm format.

EPISODE 1: The Pilot Episode. mp3 or rm

or visit the podcasts page.

And now, a visual representation of my life in marketing.

Its the 'Who is Uglier' competition: Planet Murk, the Captian..

......or the Angry Piper, with his hideous Man Boobs

Sorry, but I can't stand to look at Planet Murk anymore!

So, let's all look at these instead.

It's Back To 9 Planets Now

Dr. Robert J. Murk has been asked to step in temporarily as the ninth planet of our solar system. Despite being clearly undersized at 5'10" and only 210 lbs, the world famous psychologist accepted this ardous task. He has requested that all concerned parties refer to him as PLANET MURK for the time being, and he invites everyone to come visit. Nude swimming is encourage.

PLANET MURK will continue in his role as the 9th planet until a suitable replacememt is found, or until Pluto gets out of rehab.

John Mark Karr Must DIE!

Why?
Look at the Boys Fuggin' Hair! Anyone with that kind of Michael Bolton-esque doo, must be killed. If you want more, check some of the video.

MY GOD! What makes someone do this? Do they really look at themselves in the mirror and say "Man, I look goood". Never mind his fashion sense which is a bit Jacko/Miami Vice . . . and this was the 90's.

I mean you think he looks creepy now?

I am Malach, and Love is a Wonderful Thing!

You now live in an 8 Planet Solar System

How does that make you feel?
And, please, do be honest.
Thank you.

And that was the week that was.

Here you go Murk.
All your vacation updates in one friggin' spot!

Weird News/News/Politics
Strippers used to draw large crowds at funerals - 8/23
What's wrong with humanity: PART I - 8/23
Chcolate!! - 8/23
Prometheus on the Mountain: Science in the US - 8/18
A Note on Diplomacy... - 8/17

Entertainment/Jokes
For Shimmer-Love - 8/23
Hump Day Jokes!!! - 8/23
Is William Shatner the Greatest Celebrity Ever? - 8/22
Just Like An Angry Woman - 8/20
My Brother's CD - 8/19
New Murk and Malach Show - 8/17

Plugs
There is a reason for this - 8/23
Are you Registered to Vote? - 8/22

Personal Stories
Toyi's War Experience Chapter 2 - 8/22
Today's concert - 8/19
Back to School - 8/19
The Bravest (or Dumbest) Thing I've Ever Done - 8/17

Sports
Malach's 2006 - 2007 NFL Preview - 8/21

Admin
What Kind of Weirdos Visit the WoW? - 8/19

Conspiracy Theories
The Real Conspiracy - 8/18
John Mark Karr confesses to killing Hitler, Elvis, and Hoffa - 8/18

Transportation
An Invitation to Join the Ranks of the Autoubermenchen. - 8/17
Road Rage - 8/17

Wow, Wikipedia have too much time on their hands.
So you think this was someone's history thesis for grad school?

I am Malach, and I am not a Wikipedia nerd, but I like to watch.

Strippers used to draw large crowds at funerals

Five people have been detained in China for running striptease send-offs at funerals, state media say.

The once-common events are held to boost the number of mourners, as large crowds are seen as a mark of honour.

But the arrests, in the eastern province of Jiangsu, could signal the end of the rural tradition.

Local officials have since ordered a halt to "obscene performances" and say funeral plans have to be submitted in advance, Xinhua news agency said.

The arrests, in Donghai county, followed striptease acts at a farmer's funeral, the agency said.

Blah blah blah more stupid shit...; the article continues, go to the site if you want to read the rest.

Yet another example of people just missing the point.

Did any of these yahoos stop to think that the reason why having more people at your funeral increases your honor is because, you know, more people think highly enough of you to go to your funeral? If they all show up just to see some tits, how the fuck does that increase the honor of the deceased?!

Idiots.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Tits and Ass are a fine thing to have pretty much anywhere, and frankly if they want to do it, I say more power to them. But the whole stupidity of the reason why they are doing it makes my stomach hurt.

For Shimmer-Love

A young 1st grade teacher finds herself in front of a new group of 7-year olds. Well, at least most of her kids are 7. All except Little Johnny. He's repeated 1st grade twice already, and he's here for year 3.

"Ok, class," she says, "Today we will be learning the alphabet. I'm going to give you a letter, and you must tell me a word that starts with that letter. So, let's start at the beginning...who can tell me a word that begins with letter A?"

Immediately Little Johnny raises his hand, begging to be called on.

Oh no, thinks the teacher. I can't call on Little Johnny. He's a behavior problem. If I ask him this question, he'll say "ass" or "asshole". Trying to spare her new class from Little Johnny's behavior issues for as long as possible, she calls on Suzy, who answers: "apple."

"Very good, Suzy! Now," she asks the class, "how about the letter B?"

Once again, Little Johnny raises his hand.

If I call on Johnny, he's sure to say "bitch" or "bastard", the teacher thinks. Instead, she calls on Clarence.

"Baseball," says Clarence. "Very good, Clarence!" says the teacher. "Now, class, how about the letter C?"

Little Johnny raises his hand, a sly smile on his face.

Now way, thinks the teacher. If I call on Johnny, he'll say "cock" or that other c-word. Better not risk it. And so she calls on another kid, receiving the perfectly acceptable "candy" as an answer.

The teacher proceeds through the alphabet, resolutely ignoring Little Johnny's increasingly desperate attempts to be called on. Finally, she gets to the letter R. Little Johnny is practically apoplectic. He's dying to be acknowledged. The teacher looks around the room, realizing she has called on every student except Johnny at least once.

The teacher ponders for a long moment, unable to think of any remotely offensive word that begins with the letter R. "I may as well get it over with," she says to herself, "since the next letter is S, and he's bound to say shit if I call on him."

She heaves a deep sigh. "Ok, Little Johnny," she says. "What word starts with the letter R?"

Little Johnny sits up straight in his chair. "rat," he says.

"Very good, Johnny-"



"A BIG FUCKING RAT WITH A BIG FUCKING DICK!!!"

What's wrong with humanity: PART I

BOMBAY, India -- When Hitler's Cross restaurant opened four days ago in a Bombay suburb, local politicians and movie industry types were on hand to celebrate beneath the posters of the Nazi leader and swastikas.

The owner insisted then -- and still does -- that the name and theme of his new eatery is only meant to attract attention, even if it has outraged Bombay's Jewish community.

"It's really made people very upset that a person responsible for the massacre of 6 million Jews can be glorified," Elijah Jacob, one of the community's leaders, told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

But owner Puneet Sablok has refused to back down, and apart from Bombay's 4,500 Jews, there's been little controversy in India, where Holocaust awareness is limited, Hitler is regarded as just another historical figure and swastikas are an ancient Hindu symbol, displayed all over to bring luck.

There are just 5,500 Jews in all of India.

"It's just to attract people. There is no intention to hurt anyone," said Sablok about his spacious restaurant, which serves pastries, pizza and salad in Navi Mumbai, a northern suburb of Bombay, which is also known as Mumbai.

Those objecting to the restaurant plan to ask the local government to force a name change, said Daniel Zonshine, Israel's consul general in Bombay.

"Instead of Hitler's name being an example of extreme evil, this is like giving legitimacy to Hitler. It's not right to advertise his name in public," Zonshine said.

But while India is ordinarily sensitive to causing religious offense -- recently taking action to bar "The Da Vinci Code" movie and cartoon drawings of the prophet Muhammad -- at least one local leader said the name Hitler didn't bother him.

"People are unnecessarily making this into an issue," said Sudhir Jadhav, a local ruling party leader. "We have no plans to protest outside the restaurant or ask him to change the name."

Diners were also quite happy eating in Hitler's Cross.

"Hitler was a bad man, but what's wrong with having food here?" said Ashwini Phadnis, 22, a microbiology student as she tucked away a piece of chocolate cake.

Engineering student Anand Dhillon sat with friends, sipping soft drinks. "I think the name is quite interesting. Tomorrow if someone keeps a name like Saddam Mutton Shop or George Bush Footwear, there's nothing wrong with that, is there?" he shrugged.

What the fuck could possibly go wrong in this restaurant?

• When you order a hamburger, they ask if you want that cooked Gypsy, Homo or Jewish.
• Mel Gibson has a regular table... within sight of the ovens.
• There is a sign over the entrance to the kitchen that says "Arbeit macht frei!"
• Parking Lots I and II are surrounded by double walls of electrified barb wire fencing.
• Trust me... you do not want to see the cooler.
  
• The restrooms are marked "Jüdische Jungen Scheiße!" (boys) and "Jüdische Mädchen Pipi!" (girls)
• "The Soup Nazi" takes on a whole new meaning in this place.
• They don't have a floor manager. They have a Gruppe Führer.
• Parties of 8 or more people have to take a shower together before being seated.
  
• The bar serves specialty shots called "Zyklon-B" that steam like dry ice when served and taste just a little bit sour.
• When you decide to leave, you have to tunnel out.
  
• Looking for the function room? Follow the train tracks.
  

Hump Day Jokes!!!

A doctor, a lawyer, and an architect were arguing about who had the smartest dog. They decided to settle the issue by getting all the dogs together and seeing whose could perform the most impressive feat.

"Okay, Rover," ordered the architect, and Rover trotted over to a table and in four minutes constructed a complete scale model of a Cathedral out of toothpicks. The architect slipped Rover a cookie, and everyone agreed that it was a pretty impressive performance.

"Hit it, Spot," commanded the doctor. Spot lost no time in performing an emergency Caesarean on a cow. Three minutes later the proud mother of a healthy little heifer was all sewed up and doing fine. Not bad, conceded the onlookers, and Spot got a cookie from the doctor.

"Your turn, Fella," said the lawyer. Over went Fella, screwed the other two dogs, took their cookies, and went out to lunch.

*~*~*~*

A British doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a brain out of one man, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor says, "That's nothing, we can take a brain out of one person, put it in another and have him preparing for war in four weeks." The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind, we just took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work, and the other half preparing for war."

~*~*~*~

One day a teacher told her student's to make a sentence using the math terms add, subtract, divide, multiply. When time was over she called Little Johnny. He said, "This is the process of having sex. First you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope you don't multiply.

There is a reason for this

....So, back in November, I posted a rant about chemtrails, and government experimentation on people. I made a quip about them turning us into mutants. I also included the above picture. Since then (Malach, this one is for you), I get hundreds of links to my blog, from Europe, Asia, Africa, the Middle East, Canada, all over the damn world. All of them seem to search through google images, for the website www.alvarezwaxmodels.com and the term recall mutants. And they end up on my site. Apparently, I found this image through google images, and got it from that website. I can't actually find it on that website, but i did through google. And now, i get people from all over the world, every week, coming to my blog because of that image. Weird, eh? So, I figured I could bring a lot of international folks here to WOW, simply by posting this image. There you go....

Chcolate!!

Hey look at this Chocolate, what is the difference BTW this one and the other ones? This choclate is Coca based, is made in Sucke Bolivia, I was looking at a little TV special the other day and the chocolate has a coca leaf in the middle, it is a controversial issue, but believe it or not is complitely legal down there, Bolivia President is encouraging the soft use of the coca leaf.

Is William Shatner the Greatest Celebrity Ever?

You Be the Judge!



If you have yet to see the Shatner Roast on Comedy Central, it is the funniest thing I have seen in a very long time. Takai was awesome.

I am Malach and I am not a Trekkie, but the Angry Veteran is.

Are you Registered to Vote?

..Ok, for all you Massachusetts folks, this is expecially for you (but, the link is for everyone!).

Now, whilst I am not pleased with the way this American Government works, I still live in this country, and thus I will do my part both inside and outside the system. And part of that includes voting. While I'm hard pressed to believe that voting works, that will not stop me from doing so (how much does it hurt to take an hour or less and fill out a damn form?).

This year, I've even gone a step further. I actually just changed my party enrollment from unenrolled to....it hurts.....Democrat. Now, Hobbs is no Democrat. I don't believe in the 2 party system. I believe in a third option. BUT, I have temporarily changed my status, because there is a Primary on September 19th here in Mass, and I for one want to attempt a say in who gets to run for Governor of this fair commonwealth. I don't need to see another dick named Mitt running this place further into the ground. And I've grown very fond of Deval Patrick. So, I'm temporarily a Democrat.

My point in all this is, if you want to vote in this years Primary, you have to be registered by August 30th. And you have to be affiliated with one of the two parties (but you can change that later!). But there are plenty of elections, and we should all at least attempt to make our voice heard.

Here is a site that makes it quick and easy to register to vote, no matter what state you are in. Just fill out the forms, Print, and mail it in.

Toyi's War Experience Chapter 2

To shed a little light how Gov was moving back then... EL Salvador Government was leading under Dictatorship since 1930, Under Maximiliano the Government kept town under control? Well the Government never admited being the mastermind for some Group called "Death Squads" these groups came out specially at nightime during Curfew; they would pick random families, torture them and slaughter them & spread the corpses on the street. The misunderstanding was upon the town, 'cause the reason why a Death Squad visited was never solid (innocents, not inocents?) who knows they just did what they were sent to. Town and media always suspected that "Death Squads" were the same ARMY because they used Military tacticas and of course they were never "seen" by the military in charge of the Curfew. El Salvador was maintained under official dictatorship until 1979. Clandestine Groups tired of the abuse, angered because one way or another a family member was killed by Death Squads, This Clandestine groups tried to free the pressure erupted creating rebellious movements like ERP FPL and FMLN (and some few minor ones). These groups were borne under intellectual minds that cached the way Gov was repressing, These intellectual minds were believed to come out of the "National University of ES" but never taken as a fact. After studying rights in Lawyer school you can easily realize how Gov was operating and tend to disagree and plenty aspects.
Linking the story to mine, I was born on 1975 so the physical war erupted right when I was 4, before that was mainly the Gov repression.


So keeping up with the story, I started going to school across the street from our home and my mother's mom (Granny) would pick me up to take me to my other granny, Dad heard from my mother, she called him from US saying that she was there and safe, that she had a hard time accomodating (now I believe so 'cause is not easy as people in CA think) 'cause it was not like she thought it was going to be, she told dad that her plan was get to US work and pay a loan she made on ES to pay her trip to US but things were not going in her favor and that she wanted to return, Dad realizes he has a big debt now and he tells my mother that she has to hang on cause then the debt is going to double if she returns (around 70's there was no such a thing as round trips, they would have to get another ticket). My mother resented that from my dad but in ES is very dificult to pay out of your pocket for a trip to US. (now a days a regular roundtrip to US costs $600 and ES wages are $130 per month and this is only to pay the ticket, back then it was as dificult as it is today).
We kept coming home very late, one regular day Dad got to my Granny's home very late (around 8PM) his work place had a regular closing month and some accounts did not match, they had to stay until everything closed. When he arrived to Granny's; my little brother was asleep and I was also very sleepy, Granny didn't let him take off that night, as always Dad didn't wanted to stay, she insisted up to a point to grab herself from his shirt and ripping it... my Grandpa got involved and Dad had to stay at Granny's that night... Next day 1st thing in the morning the breaking news " Our neighborhood (where Dad had his home) had been hit, Death Squads had come overnight and killed the people from our neighborhood including kids" Granny almost had a heart attack because if she would've let my Dad leave... then we would've lost our lives that night. She told him to stay with her and never return to his home specially because Death Squads were involved (A way to control) Death Squads the uncertainty was that there was no specific reasons for Death Squads to kill so under those circumstances is hard to determine if they were looking for somebody in specific or they were just in a raid of fear.. oh but nobody wants to find out either, is just wise to try to stay safe, nobody knew if their target was reached that night by them maybe yes maybe not, they certainly knew that there was nobody at our house.. so it was just not safe. Granny went few weeks later to get us some cloth and few belongings but our door was knocked down and there was little left to take, almost everything was taken or broken, the windows were busted & that was the final reason that made my Dad move back to his parents, he thought there was no reason to stay alone with 2 kids, he saw the war coming too close to us.

Malach's 2006 - 2007 NFL Preview

First, some business.
Angry Piper is on a mini/psuedo hiatus/sabbatical. He will be on the internet, but not able to update his site for a bit. So Piper is looking for your help. He is looking for guest book reviewers for the next few weeks or so. If you like to give it a shot, here are the submission guidelines. You know Malach is gonna review something, something like Don't Let The Pigeon Drive the Bus.

Cue the Music (MNF Theme).
It is time for Malach pre-view of the upcoming NFL Season. Like last year, Malach will provide you all you need to know, and I only expect 10% of you gambling earnings (and if you look at last year, I was pretty damn close). I will reprint it tonight on my blog also. Teams are listed by division and order of finish. So here we go:

AFC EAST
New England Patriots: The Pats have one of the weakest schedules in the NFL this year (for once). They are also, beyond Miami in a very weak division. Pats should win the division, and probably go 12 - 4. Deion Branch will play, and probably be signed soon. The Defense will play more like they did in the second half last year, especially with the return of Rodney Harrison. Junior Seau is a VERY interesting add. He should see 15 - 20 plays a game and provide another on field leader. The offense is scary. Brady is coming off his best statistical year. They are going to run some 3 - 4 tight end offensese (you heard me) with guys like Ben Watson lined up as your second reciever. Watson should have a huge year. Watch for the rookies, Jackson and Maroney, especially Maroney (who will be better than Reggies Bush) to have big years. The Combo of Dillion, Maroney and Kevin Faulk, could accumulate 2500 yards. They will miss Givens, but if Dave Thomas and Reche Caldwell can catch touchdowns, they should be fine. Also watch for a relative unknown like Bam Childress to take over the role of Troy Brown. In addition they have chip on their shoulder again. The Pats have a good shot to win their 4th Super Bowl.

Miami Dolphins: Miami needs another year, but they should give the Pats their only divisional competition this year. The defense is still good, albeit old. The biggest question mark the 'Fins have is Daunte Culpepper. Can Culpepper fit into to the AFC? Can he win with out Randy Moss? He has perhaps the best set of recievers ever in his career; can he adjust to the hard hitting, style of the AFC? Saban is not going to want him to run too often, which is probably good. Dolphins are good for at least 9 - 7 and at least one win vs. the Pats. Might sneak in as a wildcard, but might be tough to do in the AFC. They do have the benefit of playing the Jets and the Bills twice.

New York Jets: This is going to be a long year for Jets fans, though they should be better than the Bills. Best thing they did is dump that idiot Herm Edwards. It will be interesting to see if Pennington can get back to his form of 2003 - 2004, and whether or not Curtis Martin can even play. Acquiring Kevan Barlow is a bit interesting and at the very least they have a servicable running back. .500 will be a good season for this team.

Buffalo Bills: Scott Norwood still owes you a Super Bowl. Gonna be a LONG cold year in Buffalo. Hey, Peerless Price is back! 4 -12.

AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts: Sorry Indy, you were destined to win it last year and failed. As your team slowly succumbs to salary cap Hell, you'll make another run at it, but lose to NE or PITT in the playoffs. They are going to miss Edgerrin James, Addae is going to be pretty good, but he is no James. Again, they will score, but they still have no defense. Defense is good enough to beat most average NFL teams, but does not work against the top teams. Colts should finish 12 - 4 or so, but bounced out of the 1st of 2nd round of the playoffs. Peyton Manning, meet Dan Marino.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Jacksonville like last year will fight the Colts for the top spot. Excellent defense, improved offense the question as always is Byron Leftwich. Can he move to the next level? Evertime he does it seems the interception gods bring him back to Earth . . . but if Jake Plummer could do it . . 12 - 4?

Houston Texans: A lot of questions here. Can they build on last season? They did not really add anyone, nor did they really lose anyone . . . 8 - 8 would be an improvement from last year! This team is stuck in some weird tropor or space time continuim.

Tennesee Titans: Tennesee singed some interesting players. Tennesee could give some teams fits week to week. The Titans could be better than the Texans if the stars align properly. They are still rebuilding, and I can guarantee you Vince Young will be starting by the third week of the season. Anything is a improvement over 4 - 12 or last year. .500 season with luck.

AFC NORTH
Pittsburgh Steelers: Pitt is in a VERY interesting division this year, a division that could turn out to be the best in football. Pitt should be the top team out of this division, but Ben Roethlisberger needs to take the next step (yeah sound silly since they won it all). Ben has to become a better quarterback. He is going to have to throw more than 17 touchdowns. Shockingly it seems Duce Staley is the number one RB. Defense is still very good. Could they repeat, hat is now up to Rothlesberger, hopefully they keep him away from motrocycles. They should win the division but will 11 - 5 do it?

Cincinatti Bengals: This is what I wrote about them last year: The Colts of the AFC North, with a worse defense. They will score some points, but also give up a lot of them. If this team can have a halfway decent preformance from their defense, they will make the playoffs, if not, they will finish third in the division. It still holds true. This team might start slow . . but should blow out mediocrity.

Baltimore Ravens: This team fortunes rest with Steve McNair, if he still has it, they could be competing for a playoff spot and possibly send Cincy back to Earth. If not, they will finish at the bottom. Watch for Todd Heap to have a huge year with McNair.

Cleveland Browns: This team is going to be very good, not this year, but sooner than later. They absolutely need a Quarterback, but this is going to be one of those "bad" teams no one will want to play. .500 or just below will be a huge step for this team.

AFC WEST
Denver Broncos: Yet another new running back star in the making (something in the water in CO), but again, are we just waiting for Jake Plummer to implode? Both New England and Pitt exposed Denver last year in the playoffs. Denver should win this division which might be the weakest in AFC. But get bounced in the first round of the playoffs.

San Digo Chargers/Kansas City Chiefs: Let see, Chargers have Shotenheimer and the Cheifs Edwards, both are meidocre coaches. KC has no recievers beyond Tony Gonzales, San Deigo no one beyond Gates. Tomlinson vs Johnson? Trent Green is a servicable quarterback, Rivers is going to have a LONG year. SD defense in pretty good, KC's not so much . . .

Their both better than the Raiders.

Oakland Raiders: So do you think Al Davis is jealous of Dan Snyder? Time to put away the black and silver gear for another year. Randy Moss should hey traded to Dallas, now that would be entertaining.

NFC EAST
Dallas Cowboys: This will be a fun year in big D. The Tuna already won't talk to or address TO by name, their "drunken kicker" can't do kick offs, Terry Glenn is the voice of reason. They are even talking about adding Freddy Mitchell. Dallas should win the division, if they don't kill one another first. This division is going to be rough, and you might see someone win it with a 9 - 7 record. I just can't wait form Bledsoe's inevitable implosion, and TO reaction, halfway through the season. NFL, your got a reality show right here!

The New York Giants: I might eat these words, but Eli Manning might turn out to be the more succesful Manning brother. The Giants are a very solid team, and Manning continues to improve. They might take the top spot in the division. They are close and have the talent to do it.

Washington Redskins: Dan Snyder, tell me one thing. Why did you pay Randel El, as a 1st string WR, when he has never been more that a 4th stringer and kickoff returner? Gibbs has finally let go of the reins of the the offensive play calling. Again good division with abover average teams, they might all end up log jammed at the top with 9 - 7 records.

Philadelphia Eagles: Philly, you have no running back, or any any wide receivers (there is a reason he is called Todd Stinkston), you got a good tight end, you are the worst team in this division. 7 - 9 at best.

NFC SOUTH
Carolina Panthers: The analysts darling, and you wonder why? Look at this crappy division. One of two good teams in the NFC that might get into the Super Bowl, still can't compete with any AFC playoff team. Keyshawn Johnson is a very interesting addition to this team. Makes their offense less one dimensional. They shoul finish with 11+ wins.

Atlana Falcons: Unless Michael Vick changes his playing style, the Falcons will do nothing, and Vick will continue to be the next Kordell Stewart. This division is bad and they might sneak into the playoffs.

Tampa Bay: TB is a real enigma to me. They should be bad, but they might not be. How's that for decisive.

New Orleans Saints: Hey Drew Brees, Welcome to N'orleans, the Black Hole of the NFL.

NFC NORTH
Chicago Bears: This is a AWFUL division. Chicago is guaranteed 6 wins just from playing the rest of the division. Extremely good defense. No offense. Might go a few rounds in the playoffs but any team scoring 20 will beat them. With this division they might win 12.

Detrot Lions: Can the Lions finally get it together behind John 'Superchristian' Kitna? Or will it be Josh McOwn lead them to a winning season? Hell, they might have the best bunch of receivers in the league, they got a halfway decent running back and a decent defense. Perhaps the curse of Barry Sanders? They are better than the rest of the divsion, but not Chicago. They should do better than 5 - 11 of last year, but this is the Lions.

Minnesota Vikings: This is a rebuilding year, and still they might be better than the Packers.

Green Bay Packers: In statis while making their way to Pleaseretire Planet in the Brett Favre system.

NFC WEST
Seattle Seahawks: Still the best team in the NFC, but you saw last year how bad the NFC still is. You cannot beat Pittsburgh with Roethelisberger throwing up a 22 QB rating? Expect more of the same out of Seattle. They might go 14 - 2 in the NFC but lose in the Big Game.

St. Louis Rams: The best Mediocre team in the NFL.

Arizona: Might be the most improved team. Well see how long Warner lasts at the helm. Leinart for all his faults, can play the pro version of the game (at least in college). Edgerrin James will give this team and interesting wrinkle. Might finish second in the division, perhaps a 8 - 8 record.

San Francisco 49ers: Hey you still have 6 Super Bowl Titles.

I am Malach, and who the Hell would name their kid Tebucky?

Just Like An Angry Woman

I found the lyrics! Now just need to find the MP3

Through miles of sand and bleached white dirt
They shambled on til their ankles hurtT
he buzzards sailed high overhead
Riding on currents of thick hot dread
And the sun burned their hearts like an angry woman
It scorched their souls like an angry woman
Oh, like an angry woman

And then out of the west blew a breeze of luck
Eighteen wheels on a big black truck
An angel of mercy that was wrapped in steel
With an unwashed man stinkin' up behind the wheel
And the road stretched on like an angry woman
And the cab smelled like french fries like an angry woman
Phee-yew... An angry woman (What's that smell?)

Sun dropped low down in the sky
Like a pair of pants on an urban guy
Their stomachs cried out with a rumbling roar
Til they just 'bout near couldn't walk no more
They tried to eat a cactus like an angry woman
And scorpions chased them down like an angry woman
An angry woman...

He drove fast, he drove far,
He busted them dunes in his big ole car
The buzzards fled at the sight of him
The sight of the one that they call Grim
They went over the speed limit like an angry woman
They caused property damage like an angry woman
Oh man, just like an angry woman

And here's the entire episode in two parts.



Dracula is my hero!

I am Malach and I am an Angry Woman.

Today's concert

Well as you knew we had a concert today, I am very tired and besides I had a great time with my friends in the band, I also felt flatered with the over and over sound troubles we always get, I do understand that we are getting better at handlyng ourselves with the sound situations, but this time I guess I myself had put some hopes because we were told that it was going to be very professional and that we had nothing to worry. Well we were told to be there at 10AM so we did the sound system was being set up, we were sent to the shade to wait cause they were going to check other bands first (we knew that we were not opening so, cool) the other band showed at 12PM and they walked right in to do their sound check, they stayed there forever placing all their lap tops and complex pedals and so bla bla bla... the Activity was supposed to start at 2PM. Since the other band was never done, we decided to send some of the boys to get something to eat and while our guys were away they called us... I said wow cool we will get to do our sound check (cause since we ever play in events, they never let us do soundcheck 'cause the event planing are never on time etc etc so in our way to the stage the sound coordinator tells us "no we are not going to do sound check" but only to set our guitars on stage that he was sooooo good and he woud have all set for us in BTW the presentation of our group (less than 3 minutes) one of the band members said "oh yeah right, we are a complite band with lot of percusion and 3 guitars, a base guitar and 4 mikes,a and you will have us set up in 3 minutes?the previous band was just 4 guys, 2 guitars, 1 base guitar and 2 mikes and you took forever" the guy says oh no no nothing to worry I am the pro and there will be little difference.... our band member said, well let us trust you are the pro and I hope you do well. At the time we started playing; 2 guitars and the bass guitar had no sound and 2 mikes were not set, as always we just keep going then things improved in the middle of the song (2 mikes and the bass started sounding) then in the second song he didn't put the volume to my distorsion and the solo didn't sound and on top of that they cut us after the 2 song becuase they tried to squizze another band and the 5 songs we were told coudn't happen. Oh I got very disatisfied, but I guess it was my fault, cause I should've realize that this is an ungoing thing and maybe was not a good idea to put my heart into it the way I did. we stayed in the field for the next 2 hours and we could see that they had miscalculated the time cause the other band played over an hour, our leader then decided that we should go home, so we came back to get our instruments left on the back of the stage and there we had a constant apologizing from the event coordinators, and the sound coordinator (oh we sorry we sorry please don't go) I mean ??? well I really dream about that day we will be able to openly play w/o any inconvenient yeah certainly some day.

Back to School

It's time once again for us kids to go back to school and spare our parents before they become even more sucidal. Backpacks, folders, pens and pencils. The essential things we all need when we come back to school. But what's even more amazing is that a number of us miss returning back to school. You see, we may have 2 1/2 months to do things like go to the movies or have parties...but those are only for about a day. Then it's another week of doing nothing until one of our friends thinks "hey! why not do something?!" With school, we'll have something to do: homework, studying for tests, doing nothing till the last minute.

Of course the downside of school is that it's the United States of America's public school system which is currently shit. And the No Child Left Behind thing doesn't really help. It just lowers the standards. If high school kids can't pass a test that was meant for kids in the 7th and 8th grade then you know you got a serious problems. But to be fair the LA school district was in trouble to begin with.

We're suppose to be one of the big five, and yet the kids here are stupid. Sure some farm boy from the midwest got a perfect score on both his ACT and SAT but that's just one kid. Having all of us kids able to do that, then that would be something. Turn off the TVs! Turn off the computers! Smack the kids if you have to and crack open a book! Read stories instead of watching them. School's just around the corner and you don't know shit from last year........OHHHHHHHHHH

Back To School
Back To School
To Prove To
Dad That I'm Not A Fool
I've Got My, Luch Packed Up
My Boots Tied Tight
I Hope I Don't Get In A Fight
Ohhhh
Back To School
Back To School
Back To School

What Kind of Weirdos Visit the WoW?

According to our Search Phrase hits, some deviants.
Check it out. This is just from the past week

ezekiel eats poo - ???
man with vacuum cleaner attachment to his cock - This must have something to do with the Piper.
instruction movies love making - Wow, we are like the Joy of Sex.
angryman wants to die - That should be "Kill Angryman"
mel gibson thai hookers - I don't think we went there. Man you want to come write for us?
a bad midol moment - Teehee Teehee
do men like taking bubble baths with women - Um yes?
wanted to be fat - Piper Again
fart.party porno - Julia needs to look into this one

Project I am working on.
I am in process on a Urban Exploration article for the Hill. Here's a pic of a recent exploration.

Spooky Huh?

Pat's Tix
For a good cause.

I am Malach, and Urban Explorer.

My Brother's CD

Well since Murk is not in eh eh I will take the chance to post My brother's website with his CD called Saluden what means "Salute" well that is it.

Prometheus on the Mountain: Science in the US

As I mentioned yesterday, I've had an essay regarding this whole Intelligent Design embarrassment that we Americans can’t seem to shake (it's pretty bad when the only other industrialized nation, other than the US, that has less of its population in favor of teaching evolution in the science class is Turkey!)

It's been gathering dust since December and I decided to finally finish it and put it up in honor of the recent trouncing of the pro-ignorance members of the Kansas school board by the voters.

I didn’t post it here because it's a bit long and I don't want to push everyone else’s posts off the page. If M&M have issue with me linking to my blog instead of just posting it all here on WoW, I'll fix that.

You can find my article here.


-C.J.Owen

The Real Conspiracy

for Hobbs:

I am going on vacation and so is Mrs. Dr. Murk. Our good friends edna and bennie goodman are coming with us. The Captain is also on vacation. SpaceFarmer is dead. Piper is taking a break. So, ask yourself this:

Why would five respected members of this blog all go on vacation at the same time?

If you think it's a secret meeting you're wrong. If you think that we're all the same person, think again. You have audio evidence to the contrary (and yes, bennie goodman will be on the next podcast).

So, what's REALLY happening here?

Hobbs, take it away...

John Mark Karr confesses to killing Hitler, Elvis, and Hoffa

Karr took the opportunity, during his hastily arranged press conference, to confess to being "in the bunker" when Hilter died; but the Fuhrers death was "an accident."

The former substitute teacher also admitted that he was "in the bathroom" when Elvis overdosed and died; but the King's death was "not intentional."

Lastly, the creepy bastard admitted that he was "at the diner" when Jimmy Hoffa was abducted. Karr stated that the union boss was "mistakenly" suffocated, beaten, and dismembered.

The Denver District Attorney charged Karr with all three murders and is now begining her investigation into these admissions.

Karr's estranged ex-wife noted that he was not even born at the time of Hitler's death and a child when Hoffa and Presley died. Denver District Attorney investigators have not contacted the former Mrs. Karr or looked at a calendar.

New Murk and Malach Show

*NEW* Show 10: Mr. Fingers *NEW* :Topics include the upcoming NFL season, funny Portuguese songs, ethnic jokes and the mailbag. Plenty of fun commercials and an interview with Joe Lieberman.
-MP3 -Real Media

The Bravest (or Dumbest) Thing I've Ever Done

That's me.

That's a pit bull.











I need to stop drinking.

An Invitation to Join the Ranks of the Autoubermenchen.

I would like to take a moment to brag.

You see, there is something I am very proud of. A trait that demonstrates, in my view, a strength of character which puts me on a different level than many of the those around me.

What is this marvelous trait? Can I heal the sick? Build great works of art? Accurately forecast the stock market?

Nope.

It’s even more superhuman than any of those things.

You see, I am a Boston driver (bare with me). I drive though the streets of madness every day, in all manner of weather and traffic. I deal with people whose level of driving skill, were it scored, could be measured in a negative number. I face the most notoriously rude, aggressive, clueless and dangerous drivers in the US.

And yet, I don’t honk my horn.

That’s right, were I to actually record the times I honked my horn this last twelve months, I would be able to tally them up on one hand, and none of them were done out of anger, but instead to warn someone who was going to hit me because they didn’t see me. (You know because actually looking in your mirrors before you switch lanes on the highway at 80mph is for wimps.)

My reason for this supreme level of self control was the realization some time ago at how asinine the horn honk has become, it’s the one socially acceptable form of tantrum throwing in pubic that is equivalent to the hysterical rage of a cranky two-year-old.

I would sit in slow traffic, or walk down the sidewalk near such traffic, and people would lay on their horn in frustration as if it were going to part the sea of vehicles like Moses.

“But that person is an asshole and I’m pissed at them!” You say.

Well, no shit. But let me clue you in on some physics. You see, a horn produces sound waves. Sound waves are our perception of vibrations through a physical medium, be they gas, fluid or solid.

Still with me?

Okay.

The funny thing about sound waves from a car horn is that they are not a LASER beam. They do not focus a tight coherent beam of your anger at the person who offended you. Nor do they courteously detour around others who happen to be in the direct line between you and the offending party and they also are incapable of stopping at the offender. They blow right past, as oblivious to the target as the target likely is to them.

In other words, you aren’t just blasting your horn at the 17 year old who cut you off, you’re blasting your horn at all the other people in earshot. And you know what? It’s just as obnoxious to them as it is to the guy who annoyed you. Even more so, because chances are the clueless whelp doesn’t give a shit about what you think of his driving, otherwise he might have been more courteous in the first place.

You are not being mature when you use your horn in anger. Horns do not undo rude behavior, they just make it more obnoxious. They don’t actually change anything. They don’t fix any problems! The guy who cut you off, will take the next turn and will never see you again. And you know what? He’s going to keep cutting people off.

Another thing, next time you are sitting in front of someone’s house to pick them up, How about this; how about you get out of your car and ring the doorbell? Or maybe the person could keep and eye out if they know you are coming. Or you could CALL them on your cell phone to privately let them know that you are there. You carry the damn thing around with you all the time, why not use it?

What, you think the entire neighborhood wants to be alerted to your presence?
People live around here! They go to work everyday just like you do, they want to be able to relax a little at home. Maybe take a nap, maybe watch some TV or play with their newborn child. Why are you being so rude as to disturb their domestic tranquility with your obnoxious behavior? Should they have to wear earplugs at home just on the off chance that you are picking up your kid’s friends for a soccer game that Saturday morning?

If someone was walking down the street with an air horn (you know, like those morons at football games use), and just blasting it at people who pissed him off, or using it instead of the doorbell when visiting a person’s house, you would think they were an intolerable asshole. Maybe even call the cops on them for disturbing the peace. And yet you do the exact same thing with your car horn every day.

I have a challenge for you. From now on, DON’T HONK. Just try it, for a couple of weeks of driving. You know what? Once you break the habit, you begin to realize how obnoxious it is when other people around you do it. You’ll begin to realize how asinine and childish the act is, and I’ll bet you will become even more resolved to not be like those rude bastards you share the road with, because you are now BETTER than them.

Join me.

A Note on Diplomacy...

Also, here is a nice little essay on creationism, education, and Kansas, titled How to Make Sure Children Are Scientifically Illiterate

ADDED NOTE: for those of you who are armchair activists, I've added a large number of petitions to my blog, ranging from political to environmental. Come check them out, and click to sign the one's you want.

Road Rage

What is it about vehicles . .
That turn your everyday ordinary person into a foul mouthed, violent, broderline homicidal maniac? What is it about the car that does this. This is something I wonder.

What is it about a hunk of steel that could turn a normally mild mannered, shy, peacenik into a profane stuntman? It has happened to all of us at one time or another. Some people become completely different people when behind the wheel taking risks, and aggressive actions they would not normally take. Why are they only like this in the car? You don't see power walking rage. Is it something about the inherant "safety" of wearing the armor of a vehicle? Is it something inherrant in the back of the human mind about how many deaths motor vehicle cause?

Case in point. I a driving down the interstate the other day, doing a respectable 75 mph in the high speed lane. I have Joe Road Rage behind me, tailgating, waving his hands, and yelling at his windsheild because I was not going fast enough for him. He was getting mad. Of course, there was a line of cars in the middle lane going 70, so I could not get out of his way. Finally he found the smallest break in that line of cars to slide in speed up, and then squeeze back out in front of me, only to get stuck behind the car in front of me who was also going 75. All this time swearing and yelling (I blew him a kiss). What was the purpose? He did not get where he was going any faster.

And yes, there are plenty of morons driving, there are plenty of morons in the world, but does that mean you should get angry at them and engange in very risky behavior? You don't walk around and threaten, swear, and cut people off walking the mall do you?

I am Malach and I am relaxed.

Wow! What a Week at WoW!

Just categories you bastards!
I am here to please the WoWees! Also for the pleasure of Dr. Murk there is this . . And for the rest of you there is this.

Catagories
Philosophy/Religion
Marriage!!! - 8/16
TRASH - 8/15
Please Leave a Message - 8/15
My Catholic 1st communion - 8/14

Entertainment/Media
Ok, a couple of things - 8/16
Hump Day Jokes!!! - 8/16
A bit of my taste - 8/15
HAHAHAHAHAHA! - 8/15
Tron in 2.5 minutes. - 8/14
The good ol' cartoons - 8/13

Babbling/Incoherent Babbling
Today's THEN and NOW. - 8/16
Change o' plans - 8/15
Fun With Snow - 8/12
WoW. I had no idea that The Angry Piper... - 8/11

Politics/Government/Conspiracies
An Important History Lesson - 8/16
What's in your mouth? - 8/15
Interesting little video on Democracy vs. Despotism - 8/11
The Gibson-Swayze Connection Explained - 8/11

Personal experiences
Concert - 8/15
Toyi War Experience Chapter 1 - 8/15
i got a story too - 8/14
So where did Malach go? - 8/14
A brief list nicknames that I was called this weekend - 8/14
How The Hell Did I Survive?

Internet issue/Tech/WoW Administration
SON OF A BITCH! - 8/15
Stupid Domain Names - 8/11
Behave - 8/10

Plugs
For The Last Freaking Time - 8/14

I am Malach and I am nothing compared to Yellow Belly Al Catelli

Marriage!!!

Okay I got inspired by Malach blog today, talking about “Love” I want to make it a dissonance because I believe it should be, Not to long ago… well said few days ago I was meditating about how serious a marriage is, and how is overlooked by those 3 out of 4 marriages that end in divorce, oh no I don’t believe marriage problems are fixed in a week (like the show says) maybe that will be a bandage for the real monster that is growing inside or maybe is a monster that had been sleeping inside all the time. But is never too late to fix it, is always about losing the image, its all about humbling, its all about telling the truth, its all about loving, its all about being seethrough by our partner,its all about forgiving. Have you ever checked all those Hollywood stories? Yeah those in what you marry a prince with blue eyes and is forever and ever, those in what you are always carried with sweetness… Those so called “True Stories” , well that idea of love is what gets in our heads, but that is not reality.. remember its Hollywood, its just Hollywood; reality is way more rough, reality is way more unjust, reality is never perfect & is never as it was planed in your head. I remember since I was a kid, I was always told that I needed to get there someday and that was something to come for sure, one of my success points were marriage and maybe a master.. I have dreamed about it and as I dream I never see it as a failure, everything is just rose color, but no no no that is not Love love is Exactly as the vows go:
A serious Promise

Well as I kept thinking about marriage, I kept going deeper… I thought about the Vows.. so what is that little promise you make up there? I mean at the Altar? Do people overlook what they say "I Do"? no man you won't do, you have a problem and is a big one if you think marriage is to fix your issues.. no marriage is to enjoy satisfying your partner (Not you) you maybe just wanted the ceremony to be over so you could be pleased? oh C'mon this is serious. Now a days everything is all about me, oh the guy I want, the guy that understand me, the guy that is teling me I love you anytime before I ask for it, the guy that treats me as the Tale I was ever told since I was a kid.. oh how can we get blind like that and think that is what has to happen? Did we ever grew up to think like adults? did we ever got a taste of reality enough to wake up from the dream? No Love is turn the other cheeck, its self sacrifice, is to love somebody special, is live w/o expecting ANYTHING, is not be the victim, is be the helper, the hero, the giver, the pusher, isn't that what we all want to be? well think it and not only think it, hear yourself on every single word you say and evaluate how truly you mean it, how solid you were, how truly is your commitment (not only with the person, but with all the presents and God himself) and how truly is your faith that makes you remain victorious. Okay that is all.

Ok, a couple of things

Will this be the worst movie ever?
Therefore making it a must see classic? The commercials are so bad, the CGI effects atrocious, and that theme song on the website. Samuel L. will do anything for money. This is going be one of those movies that is so bad it is good. Can it even come close to Slithis?

Speaking of Great Movies.
Popeye. Saw it again recently. What a fuggin' great movie. It was Burton, before there was Burton. And Shelly Duval was born to play Olive Oyl. Something special for the WoWees.



And Check out my latest blog exeriment.
Leave a comment and critique. The first pic is from some urban exploring I did today. That article will appear at the Hill soon.

I am Malach and I need you.

Today's THEN and NOW.

JAN BRADY:
(aka Eve Plumb)

THEN:NOW:

Hump Day Jokes!!!

When the ark's door was closed Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO sex on this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your penis back."

After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window to see if there is any land out there!" Mrs. Rabbit got onto his shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet." "Damn!" exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.

This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs. Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able to see land. But why are you acting so excited every day?"

"Look!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper, "I GOT THE HORSE'S RECEIPT!!"

*~*~*~*

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?", replied the man. "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No", replied Little Johnny, "he minded his own fucking business!!"

~*~*~*~

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake. He finds a little prostitute and goes up into the room with her, draping his sailor suit across the bed.

He's goin' at it as best he can for a guy his age and asks, "How am I doin'?"

The whore says, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."

What's that?" he asks.

She says, "You're 'knot' hard, you're 'knot' in, and you're 'knot' getting your money back!"

~wicked love for all~

An Important History Lesson

(This rather long, but decent article, was sent to me by someone that lives in my town. They asked me to post it here. )

Sixty-three years ago, Nazi Germany had overrun almost all of Europe and hammered England to the verge of bankruptcy and defeat, and had sunk more than four hundred British ships in their convoys between England and America for food and war materials.

The US was in an isolationist, pacifist, mood, and most Americans and Congress wanted nothing to do with the European war, or the Asian war. Then along came Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, and in outrage Congress unanimously declared war on Japan, and the following day on Germany, which had not attacked us.

It was a dicey thing. We had few allies. France was not an ally, the Vichy government of France aligned with its German occupiers. Germany was not an ally, it was an enemy, and Hitler intended to set up a Thousand Year Reich in Europe. Japan was not an ally; it was intent on owning and controlling all of Asia. Japan and Germany had long-term ideas of invading Canada and Mexico, and then the United States over the north and south borders, after they had settled control of Asia and Europe. America’s allies then were England, Ireland, Canada, Australia, and Russia, and that was about it. All of Europe, from Norway to Italy, except Russia in the east, was all ready under the Nazi heel.

America was not prepared for war. America had stood down most of its military after WWI and throughout the depression, at the outbreak of WWII, There were army units training with broomsticks over their shoulders because they didn’t have guns, and cars with “tank” painted on the doors because they didn’t have tanks. And a big chunk of our Navy had just been sunk and damaged at Pearl Harbor.

Britain had already gone bankrupt, saved only by the donation of $600 million in gold bullion in the Bank of England that was the property of Belgium and was given by Belgium to England to carry on the war when Belgium was overrun by Hitler. Actually, Belgium surrendered in one day, because it was unable to oppose the German invasion, and the Germans bombed Brussels into rubble the next day anyway just to prove they could. Britain has been holding out for two years already in the face of staggering shipping losses, and the near decimation of its air force in the Battle of Britain, and was saved from being overrun by Germany only because Hitler made the mistake of thinking the Brits were a relatively minor threat that could be dealt with later, and turning his attention to Russia, at a time when England was on the verge of collapse in the late summer of 1940. Russia saved America’s butt by putting up a desperate fight for two years until the US got geared up to begin hammering away at Germany. Russia lost something like 24 million people in the sieges of Stalingrad and Moscow, 90% of them from cold and starvation, mostly civilians, but more than a million soldiers. More than a million.

Had Russia surrendered, then, Hitler would have been able to focus his entire campaign against the Brits, then America, and the Nazis would have won the war.

I say this to illustrate that turning points in history are often dicey things. And we are at another one. There is a very dangerous minority in Islam that either has, or wants and may soon have, the ability to deliver small nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons, almost anywhere in the world, unless they are prevented from doing so.

The Jihadis, the militant Muslims, are basically Nazis in Kaffiyahs. They believe that Islam, a radically conservative (definitely not liberal!) form of Wahhabi Islam, should own and control the Middle East first, then Europe, then the world, and that all who do not bow to Allah should be killed, enslaved, or subjugated. They want to finish the Holocaust; destroy Israel; purge the world of Jews. This is what they say.

There is also a civil war raging in the Middle East, for the most part not a hot war, but a war of ideas. Islam is having its Inquisition and its Reformation today, but it is not yet known which will win - the Inquisition or the Reformation.

If the Inquisition wins, then the Wahhabis, the Jihads, will control the Middle East, and the OPEC oil, and the US, European, and Asian economies, the techno industrial economies, will be at the mercy of OPEC, not an OPEC dominated by the well educated and rational Saudis of today, but an OPEC dominated by the Jihadis.

You want gas in your car? You want heating oil next winter? You want jobs? You want the dollar to be worth anything? You better hope the Jihad, the Muslim Inquisition, loses, and the Islamic Reformation wins. If the Reformation movement wins, that is, the moderate Muslims who believe that Islam can respect and tolerate other religions, and live in peace with the rest of the world, and move out of the 10th century and into the 21st,

Then the troubles in the Middle East will eventually fade away, and a moderate and prosperous Middle East will emerge. We have to help the Reformation win, and to do that we have to fight the Inquisition, i.e., the Wahhabi movement, the Jihad, Al Qaeda, the Islamic terrorist movements.

We have to do it somewhere. We cannot do it nowhere. And we cannot do it everywhere at once. We have created a focal point for the battle now at the time and place of our choosing, in Iraq. Not in New York, not in London, or Paris, or Berlin, but in Iraq, where we did and are doing two very important things:

(1) We deposed Saddam Hussein. Whether Saddam Hussein was directly involved in 9/11 or not, it is undisputed that Saddam has been actively supporting the terrorist movement for decades. Saddam is a terrorist. Saddam is, or was, a weapon of mass destruction, who is responsible for the deaths of probably more than a million Iraqis and two million Iranians.

(2) We created a battle, a confrontation, a flash point, with Islamic terrorism in Iraq. We have focused the battle. We are killing bad guys there and the ones we get there we won’t have to get here, or anywhere else.

We also have a good shot at creating a democratic, peaceful Iraq, which will be a catalyst for democratic change in the rest of the Middle East, and an outpost for a stabilizing American military presence in the Middle East for as long as it is needed.

World War II, the war with the German and Japanese Nazis, really began with a “whimper” in 1928. It did not begin with Pearl Harbor. It began with the Japanese invasion of China. It was a war for fourteen years before America joined it. It officially ended in 1945 – a 17 year war – and was followed by another decade of US occupation in Germany and Japan to get those countries reconstructed and running on their own again – a 27 year war. World War II cost the United States an amount equal to approximately a full year’s GDP – adjusted for inflation, equal to about $12 trillion dollars. WWII cost America more than 400,000 killed in action, and nearly 100,000 still missing in action.

The Iraq war has, so far, cost the US about $160 billion (U.S.GDP in 2006 = 13.04 trillion dollars, which means that the IRAQ war has cost the U.S. approximately 12.5% of a full years GDP), which is roughly what 9/11 cost New York. It has also cost about 2,200 American lives, which is roughly 2/3 of the 3,000 lives that the Jihad snuffed on 9/11. But the cost of not fighting and winning WWII would have been unimaginably greater - a world now dominated by German and Japanese Nazism.

Americans have a short attention span, now, conditioned I suppose by 60 minute TV shows and 2 hour movies in which everything comes out okay. The real world is not like that. It is messy, uncertain, and sometimes bloody and ugly. Always has been, and probably always will be. The bottom line here is that we will have to deal with Islamic terrorism until we defeat it, whenever that is. It will not go away on its own. It will not go away if we ignore it. If the US can create a reasonably democratic and stable Iraq, then we have an “England” in the Middle East, a platform, from which we can work to help modernize and moderate the Middle East. The history of the world is the clash between the forces of relative civility and civilization, and the barbarians clamoring at the gates. The Iraq war is merely another battle in this ancient and never ending war. And now, for the first time ever, the barbarians are about to get nuclear weapons. Unless we prevent them. Or somebody does.

We have four options:

1. We can defeat the Jihad now, before it gets nuclear weapons.

2. We can fight the Jihad later, after it gets nuclear weapons (which may be as early as next year, if Iran’s progress on nuclear weapons is what Iran claims it is).

3. We can surrender to the Jihad and accept its dominance in the Middle East now, in Europe in the next few years or decades, and ultimately in America.

4. Or we can stand down now, and pick up the fight later when the Jihad is more widespread and better armed, perhaps after the Jihad has dominated France and Germany and maybe most of the rest of Europe. It will be more dangerous, more expensive, and much bloodier then. Yes, the Jihadis say that they look forward to an Islamic America. If you oppose this war, I hope you like the idea that your children, or grandchildren, may live in an Islamic America under the Mullahs and the Sharia, an America that resembles Iran today. We can be defeatist peace activists as anti war types seem to be, and concede, surrender, to the Jihad, or we can do whatever it takes to win this war against them. The history of the world is the history of civilizational clashes, cultural clashes.

All wars are about ideas, ideas about what society and civilization should be like, and the most determined always win. Those who are willing to be the most ruthless always win. The pacifists always lose, because the anti pacifists kill them. In the 20th century, it was Western democracy vs. communism, and before that Western democracy vs. Nazism, and before that Western democracy vs. German Imperialism.

Western democracy won, three times, but it wasn’t cheap, fun, nice, easy, or quick. Indeed, the wars against German Imperialism (WWI), Nazi Imperialism (WWII), and communist imperialism (the 40 year Cold War that included the Vietnam Battle, commonly called the Vietnam War, but itself a major battle in a larger war), covered almost the entire century.

The first major war of the 21st Century is the war between Western Judeo Christian Civilization and Wahhabi Islam. It may last a few more years, or most of this century. It will last until the Wahhabi branch of Islam fades away, or gives up its ambitions for regional and global dominance and Jihad, or until Western Civilization gives in to the Jihad. It will take time. It will not go with no hitches. This is not TV. Remember, perspective is everything, and America’s schools teach too little history for perspective to be clear, especially in the young American mind. The Cold War lasted from about 1947 at least until the Berlin Wall came down in 1989. Forty two years. Europe spent the first half of the 19th century fighting Napoleon, and from 1870 to 1945 fighting Germany. World War II began in 1928, lasted 17 years, plus a ten year occupation, and the US still has troops in Germany and Japan. WWII resulted in the death of more than 50 million people, maybe more than 100 million people, depending on which estimates you accept.

The US has taken a little more than 2,000 KIA in Iraq. The US took more than 4,000 killed in action on the morning of June 6th, 1944, the first day of the Normandy Invasion to rid Europe of Nazi Imperialism. In WWII the US averaged 2,000 KIA a week for four years. Most of the individual battles of WWII lost more Americans than the entire Iraq war has done so far But the stakes are at least as high – a world dominated by representative governments with civil rights, human rights, and personal freedoms; or a world dominated by a radical Islamic Wahhabi movement, by the Jihad, under the Mullahs and the Sharia (Islamic law). I do not understand why the American Left does not grasp this. They favor human rights, civil rights, liberty and freedom, but evidently not for Iraqis – in America, absolutely, but nowhere else. The 300,000 Iraqi bodies in mass graves in Iraq are not our problem? The US population is about twelve times that of Iraq, so let’s multiply 300,000 by twelve. What would you think if there were 3,600,000 American bodies in mass graves in America because of George Bush? Would you hope for another country to help liberate America?

Peace Activists always seem to demonstrate where it’s safe, in America. Why don’t we see Peace Activist demonstrations in Iran, Syria, Iraq, Sudan, North Korea, in the places in the world that really need peace activism the most?

The liberal mentality is supposed to favor human rights, civil rights, democracy, multiculturalism, diversity, etc., but if the Jihad wins, wherever the Jihad wins, it is the end of civil rights, human rights, democracy, multiculturalism, diversity, etc. Americans who oppose the liberation of Iraq are coming down on the side of their own worst enemy.

If the Jihad wins, it is the death of Liberalism. Everywhere the Jihad wins, it is the death of Liberalism. And American Liberals just don’t get it. Please consider passing along copies of this to students in high school, college and university as it contains information about the American past that is very meaningful TODAY – history about America that very likely is completely unknown by them (and their instructors, too).

By being denied the facts and truth of our history, they are at a decided disadvantage when it comes to reasoning and thinking through the issues of today. They are prime targets for misinformation campaigns beamed at enlisting them in causes and beliefs that are special interest agenda driven.

A bit of my taste

Okay this is my favorite Anime series and I always have to tell everybody, yes... pretty boys, rough boys and also enigmatic sense

Concert

Hey this Saturday our band will be playing on Washington DC Mall is going to be a big event, man I will sort of feel the slaps from religion but as I speak with Malach, we like to confront Religion in our songs and that is basically why we are going.
I am excited but not nervious, all I know is that there will be lots of bands and that we will have to be there from 10AM to 7PM, we spect to sell some CD's to.

TRASH

This is for all you slobs out there that live in a town that makes you buy special town bags for your trash. I know you think that your local trash men are the enemies, but we're not. Let me fill you in, disposal companies bid on a contract for four town, your town chooses one and then decides that the best way for them to save some extra money is to make you the resident pay for bags. Then the customer (THIS IS YOU) decides that in order for them to save money, they're just gonna stuff the shit out off these bags and make them about 100 pounds. The loser in this is me your trash man, because your not the only pick-up we have. There are about 500 stops a day so please don't take it out on us we're not the enemy, we're not making you pay for bags.

FINAL THOUGHTS:
Trash is an every day occurence and unfortuneatly it is my destiny.

Please Leave a Message

Ask any Christian adult, and most will tell you that they went through an era during which they were, as I believe most of them put it, "away from the church." It always happens right about the time that I am in right now (late high school) and ends somewhere in the mid-twenties, usually due to some crisis. Anyway, I always refused to acknowledge that something like that could ever happen to me. I always though my faith was too strong to be broken, too strong for doubt. The truth is, WoWees, I was wrong...

The truth is, the older I get, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more knowledge and wisdom become parts of my life. My secular brain conflicts my sectarian heart, my thoughts impede my instinct, and my knowledge interferes with my faith. I am, my friends, away from the church.

Another part of it is experience. As I get older I am able to more easily recognize corruption, greed, and hypocrisy. I see in the house of God the very things that these people are teaching against. Racism, greed, jealousy, hatred, hypocrisy; these are commonplace within the hearts of this people out of church, but in the church they are perfect angels. I am sick of people wearing the mask of social acceptance. I am tired of one person's religious face giving me guidance and inspiration and their other face dragging me down. Now that I have observed these things I feel unsafe in church, like I have lost what I once thought was my only escape from sin. It's time I got away.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in God; nothing can change that. I have personally experienced too much evidence of His existence to all-out deny Him now. I'm not going to turn into a drug addict or creepy sexual deviant (I'm looking at you, Murk). I still have morals and I still have values, and you can hopefully say months from now that I am still the same old Hojo. I just need some time to myself. I need time to study my own religious beliefs without some group or other attempting to indoctrinate me. I need independence from any sort of organized religion for a while so I can use my knowledge, wisdom, and observational skills to learn what I think is right.

Perhaps it is the church I am attending. Maybe another Catholic church would give me a moment's respite. Perhaps it is Catholicism; maybe I'd be more comfortable as a Buddhist, a Baptist, a Jew. I don't know, but until further notice I consider myself "indie Christian."

So, WoWees, you have just read a foray into my heart and soul. I don't do this often; I like to keep things lighthearted and witty. I normally use my writings as an escape from my burdens, not necessarily an emphasis on them. Don't worry, though, I have a post in the works that is certainly going to revert to the lighter side.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

YouTube is BACK!
To set this clip up, this is the opening to season two of The Venture Bros. Hank and Dean had died in a firey hover bike accident ala Easy Rider at the end of the season, Dr. Venture's mutant midget brother sprouted from his abdomen, and Dr. Venture takes off to find himself.



Oh and uh check this one out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfKEElqHm6E

I am Malach and I am a RAVE! and a Whore!

Change o' plans

The Murk and Malach Show
Will be recorded tonight instead of tomorrow. So call or send us e-mail today! We will read your stuff on the air!

Since YouTube went down.
No Venture Bros. clip for you.

Check out my Baby:








I am Malach and I have a boo boo on my knee

SON OF A BITCH!

You did this, AV.

You did this.

Toyi War Experience Chapter 1

Well as far I remember in my memory everything started at age 3 for me, I don’t remember my mother even though I remember the floor pattern & color where I 1st crawled.
We lived in a very poor neighborhood, Dad and Mom married under age; when they found out she was pregnant, Dad’s and Mother’s family spoke and got to an agreement that they should get married to make things right. Dad graduated from High school under an accountant technical carrier, and with lot of sacrifice got this little home where they could live.
My mother was very young and fully dragged by the 70’s scene and all the wonders she saw on TV, and the most important thing… Freedom.
Didn’t take her too long to realize that life was not easy and that all her dreams were being delayed by her idea of poverty… even though Dad had provided with a home and food was always sufficient to fulfill the hunger and we had cloth to dress, she ran away from home when I was 3, my brother was still being breast fed (btw 0-1 year old). War was not at full streinght yet for me, My granny (Dad’s Mom) offered her time to baby sit us during the day because Dad had to work to pay the home and supply for our needs, in the morning we rode the bus with him, he would drop us off at Granny’s house, at night he would pick us up to take us home to sleep.
Dad was used to get out from work around 5:30PM but that time was too late to catch the last bus because he had to go pick us up 1st, so we had to walk our way home, from my Granny’s house to ours (it was a 5 mile long way) and Dad had to carry my little brother on his arms and had me walk next to him, Dad says that after walking for a while I would start pulling his shirt asking to be picked up by then my brother was asleep on his arm, then he had to carry both of us for the rest of the way, the dangerous of this trip home was that buses were not running after 6PM because that was the time for the war Curfew to start. According to the curfew, anyone that was seen walking on the street could be at risk to get shot to death with no excuse… and we were basically violating the Curfew every single day, there was a constant fight BTW Granny and Dad every day before leaving her house and that was the great danger that he was exposed to.
2 years past on that paste, I was now 5; okay Dad was a soccer player on his spare time, he was a great Goalie to be more précised, oh just picture what a Dad would do with 2 kids under his care. Dad was used to sit us at the edge of the soccer field behind his Goal net to keep an eye on us while he played a game, I remember one day I got distracted and I went far and far from the noise of the game, I walked into the near forest and I realized that I was lost, I rushed trying to get back in a hurry, on my way back I tripped and fell on top of 2 burned bodies (well I didn’t know they were bodies at that instance) but I got up and shacked my hands one young girl that came looking for me (sent by my dad) saw me standing in front of the bodies and started screaming and crying, I got the idea that something was not right then, at the girl’s yell the entire crowd came and started talking about it, as my little comprehensive went back then I understood that 2 people had been set on fire while they were tied up together, when I looked back at the corpses I could then identify their nose, mouth, arms, legs and their expression got printed on my head up to today. Okay Daddy arrived at the scene holding my little brother and saw what was going on, he lift me and took us back home. At home he served dinner but my head was spinning quickly (As any kid I believe) 1st question… Dad why those person were burned? Did they do something wrong? Dad just silenced and I asked him again, Dad what did they do? And Dad said well no they didn’t do anything wrong. Then I said well but you have told me that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell, hell is fire and they were burned.
I started crying, Dad tell me if they are going to heaven, Dad said yes for sure they are in heaven, I went to a stage of sadness for those people… I cried them silently for few years after I knew my Dad was asleep, sometimes I heard him weeping but I never dared to ask him why.
Here a Picture of Dad leaving My Granny’s house at night time in plain Curfew

What's in your mouth?

When you dig into a strawberry Yoplait yogurt, take a moment to contemplate where the beautiful pink color comes from. Strawberries? Think again. It comes from crushed bugs. Specifically, from the female cochineal beetles and their eggs. And it's not just yogurt. The bugs are also used to give red coloring to Hershey Good & Plenty candies, Tropicana grapefruit juice, and other common foods.

What else are you eating?

This is not a conspiracy. This is truth. Now, ever wonder if the Moon Landing was a conspiracy?

For The Last Freaking Time

The Pope's Secret Blog has been cancelled. Please stop looking at it. Even if he were to write more blog entries, you should not go and read them. It's blashphemy! He's God On Earth!!! PEOPLE! STOP!

i got a story too

everyone has a story from this weekend eh?

i got one for you

i woke up in prison. seriously. no i wasn't in a cell. i just woke up there in the parking lot.

there were some clues. my body was lying amidst the debris clockwise from my ass was...

a bottle of shampoo
beer cans
3 empty cigarette packs
a picture of rosie o'donnell
lipstick stains on the pavement
beer cans
a truck driver
a sad not from spacefarmer
a bunny
beer cans

so can anyone take a guess how the official police report says how i got there?

Tron in 2.5 minutes.

This post is for you, AV.

So where did Malach go?

HMMMM?
Well he went to the annual Special Olympics MA, Unified Softball Tournament. I will tell more in my blog tonight. But as a little sneak, here is myself and Otis Sirungis preparing to play.


I am Malach and I am a Ringer.

A brief list nicknames that I was called this weekend

It was one of THOSE night in Boston on Saturday.

I went out drinking... HARD DRINKING... with eight of my "in-town" buddies for a bachelor party. It was a mess. A total fucking mess.

Throughout the night, I was referred to as: (among other things)

• Spacenigga
• Crimie
  
• Man-o-whore
• Security
• Admiral Asshole
• That Old Guy
  
• Honey
• Sir Steering Wheel
• Lex Luthor
• The Shirt
• Boyfriend
• Chove
• Smokey & The Bear (used separately)
  
• Vera Wang
• Fat Fuck
  

My Catholic 1st communion

Well well, yesterday I sat with family to talk about random things, so I came out with that "Special" Catholic 1st Communion, how this worked .. I had to memorize the Capital sins and Sacraments and all the writen specified prayers oh and I did all that.
I was 8 years old and I remember that 1 hour before the event I had to come to the priest and tell him my sins, eh eh well I approached to the priest and to be honest with you I had no Idea what sins I had made besides lying to dad, I wasn't aware of "What a sin was at all" besides what dad had ever told me that he didn't like me to do.
I just found interesting that whole picture, I remember the priest getting mad at me cause I wasn't rushing in the confesion, but hello I was 8 years old and I varely knew what my name was, I had little conscience about anything in life, but now I think, how can you commit to something you have zero or no conscience of at age 8?

How The Hell Did I Survive?

Sometimes having a palatial mansion sucks.

What? What's that? You don't want to hear about my fabulous 4 day hiatus from WoW, the Sites, Podcasts and everything the f*ck else in my life? You wish I wouldn't get all Angry Piper and put my personal life out on display like anyone cares whate color my underwear is???

You just sit right there and take what's coming to you, mister/missy. I've been providing your lazy ass with entertainment for countless weeks, you give me one hot second here... plus, my law family is very funny.

The Characters:

Law Mother: No, not the original Momma Murk, this is the Mother of the Mrs. She's at the heart of this tale. She likes to throw parties to get gifts AND she loves to freak out and kill people while planning them.

Ernie: This is the lovable Murk Law Brother who married in by mistake and can't get out. So far Law Mother has killed 15 Ernies and we keep having the Diry Tleilaxu make gholas of him to replace the dead and broken ones at her feet.

Law Kids: Just a rabble of kids not realated by blood. Two of them, Shout and Pout, are son and daughter of the Ernie Series of gholas.

Law Sister T: Mother of Shout and Pout. Usually on the side of Law Mother and laughs after everything anyone says or does, no matter how inappropriate the situation (like in CHURCH!).

Law Sister M: Young. Unmarried. Complete lushy. I have the numbers. Email for further details and payment instruction.

Mrs. Dr. Murk: My usually loveable and jovial wife, recently driven insane by Law Mother, Law Sisters and Law Kids. I now sleep on the roof.

Law Father: He doesn't do much except quote himself and remind us of the length that people should go to for their family.

Okay, the stage is set. We begin on a gentle morning in June when Mrs. says to Murk, that old cad, that Ernie and Law T are coming up this summer for Law Brother ASSHOLE'S wedding party... what? I never intruduced him? Sorry.

Law Brother T: Whiny, arrogant little bitch boy who's pleasures include making everyone else miserable, pointing out obvious flaws, critiquing the dumbest things, never shutting up, and easting sh*t with Heinz Ketchup on it.

So, there's a wedding to the New Law Sister. Don't worry about her. She's like 12 and doesn't speak a word of English and thinks Law Borther T is Donald Trump's nephew. Everyone in Law Family Town is going to be showing up and Law mother has graciously offered to put them up at the Palatial Murk Estates... without asking. So Murk, that's me, all ten hot inches of me, finds this out about two months ago. Now Ernie and Sissy T have two Law Kids, Shout and Pout, mentioned above. They are so named due to their best traits. One shouts and one pouts. Oh, and they both still sh*t themselves. I know little kids and old people do it, but I don't want to see it, hear it smell it touch it taste it or have it anywhere near food or my pool.

They're coming, I'm told. Oh joy! What a fate that I should spend my idle summer days picking poo out of my salad and listening to the daily hysterics of Law Mother planning the ultimate money grab of a wedding at her own house without the help of caterers. Bu, who will do the work???

Hmmmm. Perhaps the Law Sisters and Ernie and Dr. Murk would be so kind as to slave away all the days between now and then in the fruitless endeavor of pleasing a woman who loves her own arse more than she loves any other human being on the plannet and she cannot be pleased unless everyone is working working working working...

Anyways, so this Monday starts with a phone call. Ernie, that swell guy, is coming up early. To stay with me! How thoughtful! Eh. He's okay. Fine. Maybe I can put him to work fixing up the guest house.

Naw. See, Ernie's got a bad back and people having been taking dumps on this guy since he was like 16 and he's tired and about to have his F*CKING SKULL mashed in by Law Mother because... he's the new whipping boy. I feel pity and just try to keep him amused.

The Sword od Damocles continues to dangle, but it turns out that Shout and Pout don't do much shouting and pouting at the Palatial Mansion. Who can blame them? No one is yelling at them, spitting in their cereal or using them as paws in some ancient psychological war at my place. So, Ernie and I make it to Thursday and then get D-RUNK. The 'D' is seperate because you'll have to pay for the details.

As we wallow in our own filth after an 8 hour bender, we receive what seems to be an innocous message around 10 p.m. "You will pay! Love, Law Mother."

Now Ernie's done hard labor and so have I and setting up tents and chairs and crap on a mild weekend isn't something to worry us. We thinkwe're safe. We slur our drunken good nights and prepare for the morrow.

What ensues over the next three days is a combination of events. There's a wedding wrapped in a titanic Ernie Killing Spree (he took down a few of Law Mother's Fish Speaker guards before she rolled on him), covered in threats and inuendo, and with me, innocent Dr. of Love, as the impromptu replacement for the now freshly deceased Ernie, may God free him from this place so that he can be little again. So I get whipped and whipped and whipped. And all the Law Sisters and Law Family have at me verbally for a day and a half... wait. Let me explain the technique.

The Captain can tell you some sweet moves his family has for passive agreesive behavior, but how is this: They tell each other secret things that someone just said about someone else until that person finds out and then they amplify it by adding detail after lurid detail until you blurt something like: "Yeah, well she was going to flip out on someone. Why not me? I could give a flying f*ck." Unfortunately, sometimes you're overheard.

I was overheard. To shield me from Law Mother, bless their souls, and to allow me to cool down, I am taken away by Law Father for a fatherly advice drive and to go clean out the most mold covered fridge in five counties. This is tradition, and they always know where the next moldy fridge is.

What did I do to earn all this? I went to work after helping to set everything up. I have no clue why, but this offended Law Mother.

And so, I was washing this dirty, smelly moldy fridge, when it hit me... I had been away from my real wor (you tarts) for days. I became sad.

Then, I went to bed.

Then the yelling started in earnest. The new Ernie in Law had arrived and Law Mother was busily explaining the intricate set of rules that sons in law of the Mother must obey. He freaked out and ran off with Shouty, Pouty and Sissy T. Law Brother T. was squirting Heinz on everything and asking, "How come this remote doesn't work? It worked last night. I think Murk sat on it. He's fat. I don't like that smell. Who has a dragon I can eat? I want beets. You people are ugly." And... I was 3 hours late.

Luckily, my punishment was mild. I got stuck tending the bar at the wedding. Of course, I had to maintain a delicate balance of appreciating Law Mother's generous liquor offering while not becoming visibly intoxicated, but I've developed a strong immunity to alcohol that is legendary in East Asia.

Then it got weird. I mad everyone's drink a reversi. That's when you mix the whatever they ask for in reverse proportion so that there's a shot of mixer thrown in with their glass of alcohol. People were in a bad way quite quickly, and even Law Mother had a little shine on. Ernie in Law was telling drunken Army stories and before I knew it, the sun had set, and I was being driven home by Mrs with a trunk full of booze and apparently a new level of respect from the neighbors, so to speak. I had bartended my way to freedom.

So, in the aftermath, after cleaning, after nap and so on, I have found that Law Mother has laid one of her particularly cruel punishments on me, just as I thought I was clear...

Everyone had such a good time that she's planning to do it all again for Christmas, with me as the star of the show.

I have Tequilla, Rum or Scotch. Which should I drug and use to kill myself?

The good ol' cartoons

Mickey Mouse
Amongst the charecters which became a house hold name for the disney industry,
none of them are morefamous than the half naked, yellow sneaker wearing mouse,
Mickey. His features hasevolved over the years and now he looks more like a
dashing young weirdo than the weird bug he used to be.

Personally I like Donald Duck better.
o_O

Infact the same could be said for any of the classic cartoon charecters. Bugs bunny, tom and jerry,
and the rest of the whole jingbang

Anyway the point is that no matter how many "awsome" animes come and go
and no matter how many pathetic 'power rangers' series continue to capture
uneducated todlers, there are always the classics which even my parents like
to watch from time to time.

And they abhor cartoons.

Down you just love the classics?

Fun With Snow

Can't wait for winter.

The Gibson-Swayze Connection Explained

Interesting little video on Democracy vs. Despotism

Click here to watch this

10-minute video at YouTube.

Stupid Domain Names

These are all real websites where the domain names weren't thought out too well.


1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is: http://www.whorepresents.com/.

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can Exchange advice
and views at http://www.expertsexchange.com/.

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than PenIsland at: http://www.penisland.net/.

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at: http://www.therapistfinder.com/.

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company -http://www.powergenitalia.com/ ...

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: molestationnursery.com/.

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always
http://www.ipanywhere.com/.

8. Welcome to the FirstCummingMethodistChurch. Their website is:
http://www.cummingfirst.com/

9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and Their whacky website:/www.speedofart.com/.

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at http://www.gotahoe.com/ ..

WoW. I had no idea that The Angry Piper...

...was so damn old.

Behave

Or else!
Malach will be gone until Sunday. Behave.

I am Malach and I will miss my WoWees

Advertising goes too far...

...and McDonalds is poisoning the world. This is indeed a strange and disturbing universe, and this picture says it all. Should we start feeding chemically laden Big Mac's to babies now. Blend them up and bottle feed them.


Why not just perfect the chemical lunch and just inject babies with it. Why not put them in little pods and just pump in basic nutrients, feed their brains information, and use them for the electricity they put off. Why not?

The Week That Was at WoW!

Evil Malach
Some of you may be familiar with Drunken Comic Reviews. Murk and I were members of this blog. It started in March, as an invitation only blog for well known comic/webcomic creators (the list was impressive). the basic premise was to rip apart the comics/webcomic world. It got a lot of attention, both good and bad, and a ton of hits, and was a secret darling of the comics/webcomic community. You should have seen who posted comments there, everyone from Eric Burns to Jim Lee. At one point, the founder, Matt Black, basically was sick of the whole bitch fest (had a classic Cap'n Spacegraemeflaksquarepantfarmer Midol Moment), fired most of the crew, and the posting there went down to a trickle. Except for an occasional post, the action there died down from Mid May to Present. The site was still getting 250 - 300 hits per week, but not the 700+ daily it was getting.

So, Mr. Black in another Spacecaptaingraemefarmerpantaloon's moment, deleted the whole blog. Well, Malach jumped right on that bitch. Check what happens now if you go to it. So now all the links, all the search hits, etc, go here. So here's what I propose. Continue writing good articles, and plug your stuff. Now I don't want this tunred into a splog. But, for example if you were doing something about Jesus and his "marriage" you could link it to JesusMan! .

The Week That Was
8/9/06
Who always needs to have the last word?
Hump Day Jokes!!
Star Fuggin' Power
The Shit Parables, or How I Became Shit Jesus
The Mood of Red Sox Nation part II, plus some misc junk.
Skittles + More Random Junk.

8/8/06
i just insulted my gynecologist
Contest: Pitch your movie to the Hollywood studio executive
Yes, my friends...
How life Works.

8/7/06
Heed the Word of the Piper, Sissies!
JesusMan!
The American Boss (REDUX)
Talladega Nights takes the checkered flag
EYE HEART MACRO SOFTS VIZ TAH BEACH RE COG NATION
Well, Well . ..

8/6/06
A Report From Mrs. Dr. Murk
Welcome to Otis Serungis

8/5/06
400 Goes To Me!
Do you people want Action

8/4/06
The Death Tax... again...
That's right, baby, it's all going down TONIGHT.

8/3/06
Friday Night Fight
Larry Bird vs. David Ortiz
Ultimate Spider-Man

Categories
Psychology/Philosophy
Who always needs to have the last word?
The Shit Parables, or How I Became Shit Jesus
How life Works.

Entertainment
Hump Day Jokes!!
Star Fuggin' Power
Talladega Nights takes the checkered flag
Well, Well . ..
Ultimate Spider-Man

Sports
The Mood of Red Sox Nation part II, plus some misc junk.
Larry Bird vs. David Ortiz

Drugs/Alcohol
Skittles + More Random Junk.

Plugs/Ads
Yes, my friends...
Heed the Word of the Piper, Sissies!
JesusMan!

The Workplace
The American Boss (REDUX)

Technology
EYE HEART MACRO SOFTS VIZ TAH BEACH RE COG NATION

Gettin' Crass in Southern MA., Murk vs. the Cap'n
A Report From Mrs. Dr. Murk
That's right, baby, it's all going down TONIGHT. Friday Night Fight

Administration
Welcome to Otis Serungis
400 Goes To Me!

Babbling
Do you people want Action

Government/Politics
The Death Tax... again...

I am evil Malach.

Who always needs to have the last word?

You know how some people just always have to have the last word in an argument or a discussion? You know who I'm talking about? No matter what the subject matter is, this person always feels compelled to have the last word; even if they have nothing to add to the conversation. They are just so in love with the dulcid tones of their own voice and so convinced of their own rhetorical superiority that they just can't stand to let someone else have the final say.

Do you know someone like that?

Is that person looking at you right now?

In the mirror?

Hump Day Jokes!!

Rednecks:
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther,"Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different.
The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."

*~*~*~*

Rectum Stretcher:
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know about, asked "what's your hurry?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
I'm a Rectum Stretcher," I responded.
The cop was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to 2 fingers, then 3, then 4, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the cop asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot asshole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge ..."

Traffic ticket: $95.00
Court costs: $45.00
Look on cop's face ... Priceless

~*~*~*~

While visiting his niece, an elderly gentleman had a heart attack. The woman drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.

After what seemed like a very long wait, the E.R. doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid that your uncle's brain is alive, but his heart has stopped."

"Oh, dear," cried the woman, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock, "We've never had a Republican in the family before!"

~wicked love for all~

Star Fuggin' Power

Check this list out.
This list is the top 100 actors/actress who have earned Hollywood the most money. Basically this takes all the movies they have been in, what those movies have earned and who was in the movies crossreferenced. For example Tom Cruise is 6th on the list, he has been in 31 movies which have earned just over $3 billon. I am reprinting the top 5 for you below.

1 Frank Welker; 89 movies; $4,700,019,333 total box office; $52,809,206 average box office.
2 Samuel L. Jackson; 67; $3,834,781,567, $57,235,546
3 Tom Hanks; 36; $3,330,300,015; $92,508,334
4 Harrison Ford; 34; $3,304,872,666; $97,202,137
5 James Earl Jones; 45; $3,135,775,614; $69,683,903

And who leads this crew? Frank Fuggin' Welker. Now some of you are asking me, "Malach who the Hell is Frank Welker?". Well Welker is most famous as Fred Jones, the intrepid leader of Mystery Inc, of Scooby Doo Fame. He has played Fred in just about every appearance since 1969. He has also played Scooby Doo, since the original voice of Scooby died in 1997 (except for a couple of really bad straight to video scooby episodes). He has done voice work in so much stuff, it is mind boggling. The Jetsons, Megatron and several other Transformers (and supposedly in the new movie), Futurama, Family Guy, The Star Trek Movies (he was Spock's Scream in ST:III), Aladdin and a plethora of other Disney Movies, Spawn, Species, Stargate, Video Games, and alomost every animated feature on TV today; he is credited with "special voice effects" in so many movies it is incredible. He beats Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Julie Roberts, even the voice of Darth Vader.

So if you want you film to make money, hire Frank Welker. $5 billion!

I am Malach, and Hey gang a clue!

The Shit Parables, or How I Became Shit Jesus

So, if a man builds a castle out of shit, should he be proud of it?

If a man is buried in shit up to his waist, should he bury himself further to get a better grip on what's going on in the shit?

If a man climbs to the top of a pile of shit faster than other men around him, he'll still be covered in shit, right?

If running a marathon through ankle deep shit meant finally being able to lay down to rest on a soft piece of shit when done, is it worth it?

If I lived in a house built of shit, would people laugh when I complained about the smell?

A man who sees shit all day dreams of shit at night.

If you loan shit at shitty rates you get shit for interest payments.

If it's shit at work, shit at home or shit on vacation, it's still shit.

The material world is filled with shit. The fact that we keep trying to control shit says it all. No wonder we're unhappy. We're shit pushers.

The Mood of Red Sox Nation part II, plus some misc junk.

So, I like to listen to WEEI.
Being a fan of New England sports, I listen to WEEI pretty consistently. Listen to it's streaming for a bit and see who nutty we are, especially the members of Red Sox nation. It is interesting though. Something interesting has occured in the post World Series Champion Red Sox Nation and I have discussed it before . . . Red Sox fans are more content since 2004. We no longer jump off bridges when they lose. We don't live every game like a playoff game. Even Red Sox-Yankees are not what they used to be. The Sox have been sub .500 since the All Star break and it is funny to listen to the idiots on EEI drag out the doom and gloom from the past 35 year "Curse of the Bambino" era. And no one really cares. Why? We can see the future of this team. This team is being built like the Bellichick era Patriots team, built to compete for the long term, and for a long time.

Honestly I am not angry they did not make a blockbuster trade before the trade deadline. I am happy they did not trade away their future for a year of Andruw Jones or Roy Oswalt. If you look at their team, the lose a lot of salary in the next couple of years. This is going to be a team that will win another World Series and soon . . . this team might be the Yankess of the late 90's.

Wow, some people are excited to be visited by Fat Bug.
Check out the main page of Sarah Zero and scroll down. The next Fat Bug is going to be interesting and strange, very different than the typical Fat Bug, but similar.

So I am not dead yet . . .
I have not had any suicide bombers at my door yet. I am still getting links from here, anyone read Urdu?

TOM Podcasts
I made some adjustments at TOM. There is a now a podcasts page, from there your can link to the new Murk and Malach Show page and The Third Option Podcast page. I enjoyed the Third Option Podcast.

So (BLEEP)ing Good


I am Malach and give me your shoes.

Skittles + More Random Junk.

Skittles.

Ok. Here is what I think about Skittles. No not the lovable candy.
I am talking about the Coricidin: Cough & Cold medicine.

Now granted it may be able to cure your Cough or Cold flu that you have going around at the moment, but you can also use it as a drug to get high. Coricidin: Cough & Cold consist of alot of DMX. DMX consist of the drug that uses to confuse your brain, which also makes you high. Normally you would take one or two of these pills at a time to cure your cold. But, if you take eight or more.. depending on your drug experience, you will get high. First times at this should take eight.
When you get more experence with them, move up to ten, then twelve, then sixteen, then twentyfour, then thirtytwo. I have took eight two times. I have been high both times. I threw up both times. If you are a beginner and you take about sixteen or more on your first time, you will prolly overdose and die. That is how it works. I have friends who are drug experts and shit. They can take upto thirtytwo and not overdose. A "high" off Skittles can last you from four hours intill three days. You can also experience a short of time where you dont feel like you are high, but it will come back in a couple of hour's.


Kebert Xela Saying Alex Trebek's name backward's is the only way to send him back to where he belong's... The fifth demenison.
How The hell... Does it take three licks to get to the center of a tootie pop? ..Damn red neck creation.

i just insulted my gynecologist

look i know we're supposed to go once a year but this is really too much

i just got back from my gynecologist and i'm not quite sure that he's on the level. okay, maybe you people can help me out. you know. tell me if what he did was typical or if i need to get a sleazy lawyer.

first off he slammed my funbags between two plates. that's right. i had to open my oh so puritanical hospital robe and he started to run my jugs. then he slammed on of them between two cold things and took pictures. he said they were 'x rays'. i don't know how i feel about being in x rayeded pictures considering i had to pay him.

next i had to sit on a hard bed and 'scootch forward' until my question mark was on his nose. then he started taking inventory. a cold jelly smeared painful inventory of my country cabin. he had the nerve to tell me i might feel some discomfort. try total embarassment. i swear i heard him whisper to the nurse he was going to see how many finger he could fit in.

then he stripped off the gloves and told me to get dressed without even a hug or a cuddle. my rational mind told me that this was a necessary medical procedure but my emotions told me that somehow he'd enjoyed my humiliation.

i'll tell you one thing.

that's the last time i go to dr murk for my special exam.

Contest: Pitch your movie to the Hollywood studio executive

I don't remember what movie it was (The Player?), but the character explains that each scriptwriter has a few seconds to grab the big studio executive's attention and imagination when he wants to pitch his new movie. So the writer has to take two well known movies and describe his new movie as "old movie meets old movie." Thus, you could imagine Talladega Nights being pitched as "Days of Thunder meets Anchorman." And so on.

The contest: in the comments section, give the title of your new movie and make a pitch to the executive be describing it as "movie meets movie." Extra points for hilarity. Winner declared by fiat next week.

Yes, my friends...

After a long recovery, I finally had the strength to put up

THE THIRD OPTION PODCAST THROWDOWN!!!!

In my weakness, I was only able to make a temporary page, but Malach will fix everything up nice and neat while I'm in physical therapy.

If you're too lazy to go to the page itself, right click and save as your file of choice:

mp3 rm

It's about an hour long. Listen to the whole thing. There are messages for all of you...

How life Works.

According to Choas_Dragoon.
Many of you know I congregate a forum with the Dragoon. Many of you know I run an very popular advice column called Dear Malach (yeah have fun with that 1125 pages long, 17,000 posts). Well, Choas today at this forum stated his chain of life . . . it is as follows:

This is the Chain:
Malach(>)Murk(<)Choas(>)Spacefarmer

So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

I am Malach an Apex Predator (man I love Shark Week)

Heed the Word of the Piper, Sissies!

Over at Angrypiper.com, a huge update has just occurred. No longer will you see this page. Now there are zero dead links.I'm working on a new layout for the site but I'm having minor technical problems, meaning I don't like the way it looks so far. Until I do, the old layout stays.
My Blog will be moving very soon. Don't fret; you'll have plenty of warning. In fact, consider this your first one.
In the Book Reviews Section, the current selection is still Mickey Spillane. Look for an update within the next few days or so, I've been busy with all the other stuff lately.
The first of several planned Bagpiping articles has gone up: Bagpipes 101, a primer on the anatomy and physiology of the Great Highland Bagpipe. Everything you probably never cared to know about bagpipes, so you never asked. With pictures.
And at long last, the Anger is back. Submitted for your perusal is not one, not two, but three complete and new Angry Rants, plus one on deck (to be published soon).
If, after that, you still haven't got your fill of anger and if you haven't done so already, check out what Dr. Mantodea has to say over at Hill-TV. The mantis loves to remind you how stupid you are.

JesusMan!

DOODOODOO!
Latest episode of JesusMan! is now loaded. JesusMan! begin's a new chapter in his life, The Death of JesusMan!. Plot twist in this one, and as foreshadow here first at WoW, the Christ Closet and the Jesus Sheild.

Enjoy.

I am Malach and I am King of Pakistan!

The American Boss (REDUX)

(reprinted with permission from The Old 3rd Movement Rant & Reckon Blog)


The American Boss
by: J. Graeme

I'm going to shamelessly complain for a while. I think I’ve earned the right. Maybe you have too? Read on and find out.

Due to the potential for public embarrassment and prosecution, sexual harassment, as it was known in its heyday, is on the decline… rapidly. In its place we have seen the rise of a new demented typical American Boss. He’s ugly. He’s mean. He’s aggressive. He’s everywhere. He is the abuser you have come to know and love.

I have already had several of these bosses in my 10+ years of being out in the formal workplace. Oh, lucky me!

The first master of mistreatment took the form of a gruff old shipyard worker turned bastard-ass college facilities department painter. He liked to yell and scream and make up excuses for why he couldn’t read. He is only boss I have ever had that I actually thought he might physically abuse me. He didn’t. He chose… wisely. Instead, he took out his excess aggression on his god-knows-how-old partner in crime. That poor bastard ended up with heart disease, cancer and a colostomy bag. He’s probably dead by now. The nice thing was that this particular boss and his little crony had furnished their houses with items and money all stolen from the college itself. Nice touch.

The second evil boss was a world-class jerk stuck in the recesses of his failing ego and sexual deprivation. Terrifyingly enough, people actually trusted him with their money. He got off on pretending to yell and swear at people while he had the phone muted. He loved to make fun of me because he knew I had to take it… I had no choice. I needed the money. He actually used to say that to me.

Next, I found myself mixed up an extreme right-wing overweight man whose personal life was crumbling all around him. In fact, his terrible demeanor earned him a first class ticket to Divorce Land! At one time, these guys were partners. However, an imp can’t partner with fiend. It’s doomed from the start… as they were.

After those two, there were a series of late-90’s business egomaniacs who, because they had started a dot com here or a tech company there and captured some investment dollars from the suckers who bent over and took it like real champions, thought they were the greatest things on Earth. They were really cocky. None of them could see the world past their own noses and they all ended up with a failed business plan, a divorce or, no doubt, an STD. I watched their butts get kissed more than a lottery winner on payday. It was sickening.

Soon after that run, I had a repressed homosexual who took out his aggressions by demanding that I complete silly and meaningless tasks. Next, I enjoyed the oversight of a hardcore metrosexual who loved to pick on my apparent lack of fashion sense by insulting me in front of other people. The sad part was that he never understood that you don’t crap on the people that do your work for you... especially when you pay them far below their actual worth. He’ll end up getting pegged in a unisex bathroom a trendy New York nightclub someday. I’d put money on that.

Brace yourself for this next one. He is the case-in-point for this article. Two years ago, I had a boss that was a big burly freak of a man. A former hockey player and master of building and destroying small companies, he calls Viagara “The Heat” and looks like a cross between a cokehead and a bulldog. He has a new girlfriend and gets off on having sex with her while her kids are in the house and his friends listen in on the speakerphone (she has no idea, of course.) He treated me like his best friend one minute and his own personal bitch the next. Among his many daily explicit shockers, he told me the following:

a) He estimates he had spent over $100,000 on prostitutes in the past 17 years. (note: he was married for 17 years and he was once extremely mad at me because I refused to have sex with a prostitute in NYC while he and the VP of Sales watched.)
b) Several times, he told me that if during sex “you make a woman piss on your face, you own her forever.” That one made me shudder.
c) While married to another woman, he sodomized his neighbor with the flag pole in his office and then fucked her on the flag itself. God bless America!
d) When he was younger, he used to drink vomit, urine and eat feces for money. I didn’t believe him until he had a friend unequivocally confirm it as true. I’m not sure if I was supposed to be scared or impressed by that one. (by the way, he was recently diagnosed with a sever case of diverticulitis.)
e) I could go on and on and on and you simply wouldn’t believe it.

And then we come to my last boss. The worst. It gets WORSE you might ask? Yes, it does. However, let me start by saying that I have no issues with female authority. My current boss is a woman and she is fantastic. I love this job. I love my boss. I love this company. Etc. etc. etc.

But, my last boss… oh god, she was so evil. She was the biggest, nastiest life destroying mean spirited bitch the world has ever seen. I mean it. I’m a pretty tough guy and, for reference, I am 6’4” tall, I weigh 265lbs and I can be extremely intimidating. But, my god, one day this bitch reduced me to tears because I just couldn’t take her anger management disorder anymore. She mentally beat me and beat me and beat me until I cracked. I told her I was going to crack and then I cracked. It was ugly. I cried like a baby.

Check this out: she’s had a 200% employee turnover rate in her department in 2 years because people can’t deal with her unending shit.

Finally, after I realized that my personal life was crumbling, the medications and therapy weren’t helping, I quit. With a very pregnant wife, no job prospects and nothing lined up whatsoever, I walked in, slapped down a letter of resignation, told them I wanted two months salary and benefits (in exchange for me NOT suing for verbal assault in the workplace) and that my last day would be that following Friday. Then, I had another one of my employees quit along with me. Fuck her. FUCK. HER. The sense of relief I felt on that Friday afternoon was among the greatest sensations I have ever felt.

Honestly, I really can deal with all of this. Sure, it frustrates me from time to time, and can even require drastic measures to be taken, but it’s not a big deal to me, personally. What I can’t deal with is being treated like a child. Now, bear in mind that I know many people who have to deal with this kind of typical garbage or something along the lines of “people acting like idiots in the workplace.”

My guess is that, at one time or another, you too have dealt with this nonsense.

You know, I have a pretty sold resume for my amount of education and exposure to the professional world. Funny enough, most of my experience, which helped me to literally land my dream job and put me on a successful career path, is owed to these very people. Of course, my wife and family will tell me that everything I have is all because of me, but I know better. All I did was to learn how to appease these bosses long enough to get what I wanted. I accumulated a vast amount of knowledge and “knowledge is power!”

It had its price, and I paid it… and then some.

What I am trying to say is that The American Boss spews out abuse and nonsense that we’re expected to arrange into useable pieces of data and instruction and, in turn, we learn how to navigate through the pile of drivel that is the New World Workplace. I have a borderline useless college degree and yet, I am currently running the marketing organization for a $110MM segment of a $1B public company. I have learned to suck in knowledge faster than a broken hearted teenager swilling booze on a hot summer’s night.

So, what’s the point? Well, if you hear words like loyalty, trust, raise and bonus being tossed around your office when the door is shut and your boss is talking to you one-on-one (especially if this has happened several times in a row and nothing ever comes of it), I would take a long hard look at where you are and think about moving on… soon. In the meantime, get as many free lunches, expensed cocktails and valuable working knowledge as you can and then go get a higher paying job somewhere else. Don’t make a big deal about it. Just learn from the past and move on. After that, call me and let’s get good and drunk! (And then I’ll get you a fantastic job. Trust me, I know that game better than anyone.)

After all, we deserve it more than they do. Right? Hell yeah we do.

Why? Because, we’re an entire generation of lost souls who are forced to report to soulless losers, and we have seemingly no choice but to keep on keeping on. Well, times are changing and I believe that the revolution we’ve all been waiting for is right on the horizon.

You can see when you close your eyes at night and picture a better life.

Now, get back to work.

Talladega Nights takes the checkered flag

Mrs. Angry Veteran, a NASCAR fan, and I, a Wonder Bread fan, saw Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby tonight. It was laugh out loud, oh my God funny. If you liked Anchorman and Old School, you are going to love Talladega Nights. In fact, the out take reel during the credits at the end was funnier than some comedy films I have seen.

I don't want to spoil the movie for you, so I will just say that if you are a Will Ferrell fan, you will have a great time at this movie. In addition to a strong performance by Ferrell, John C. O'Reilly and Sacha Cohen were fantastic. In fact, all of the supporting cast (except for one minor player) were excellent. And the one actress I'm thinking of wasn't bad, she just wasn't dead on with her delivery; which stuck out in this movie.

I'd also like to give a shout out to NASCAR for supporting this movie and having a sense of humor about itself. This movie was funny, had some inside jokes for the NASCAR fans, and was funny without being meanspirited to NASCAR or the fans.

Remember, if you aren't first, you're last.

EYE HEART MACRO SOFTS VIZ TAH BEACH RE COG NATION

This is fucking beautiful.
Check it out!

Well, Well . ..

I just watched Dethklok Metaolcalypse . . .
and I must say, it was the best 15 minutes of my weekend. It definitely has that Brendon Small type of humor. Only on a much grander scale. If you get the chance, and have not seen watch it on the Fix (full screen too).

AMAZING!

I am Malach and it is beedy bye bows time.

A Report From Mrs. Dr. Murk

Hi Everyone,

Robert is doing fine. Right now he's writing out instrusctions with his unbroken left hand so that I can tell you that he won. The fight went well. It was AWESOME! he writes. He wants you to know that he has a broken jaw and his right hand is mangled and his ribs have some cracks.

But you should have seen it! I had to stick Captain Flack's stomach up after pushing his intestines back in. That ought to show Robert how 'stupid' watching all this trauma shows was.

The best part was leaving them both lying on the floor, writhing in pain for two hours. Well, except for the fact that I didn't realize they were going to bleed so much. So, after I played amateur doctor hour, I made them both mop until they dropped.

Well, I have to go. Robert wan't me to write a special NFL section for his sports blog. I guess there's some boring pre-season game on tonight between two teams he hates and he want to make sure you all know that he loves football, but not enough to even spit on his neighbor's TV when this game is on.

Maybe I'll just give him too much medication and pretend he never told me.

Nite!

Welcome to Otis Serungis

You Fuggin' Dwarf!

I am Malach and I hate Dwarves, and if I were DM of this campaign, I would think up the most embarassing ways for the Dwarven PC's to die!

400 Goes To Me!

Hah, hah!

Do you people want Action

Now THIS is Fuggin' Action:

Come get some.

Happy Birthday.
To Pilaf, who without Pilaf, Butt Sex Man, never would have crank called me.

I am Malach, arrrrrrrr.

The Death Tax... again...

Once again the Republicans tried to pass a massive tax cut tied to an increase in the minimum wage. Not surprisingly, it was blocked by the Democrats.

Proponents of repealing the estate tax (called Death Tax by its detractors) has long been cited by the Washington cronies as a boon for “the family farm and small family business”.

Attention: wealthy assholes and poor morons who listen to them.

FYI; you don’t need to pay any taxes on inherited estates until the value of said estate hits $2,000,0001

In 2009 that exemption will grow to $3,500,001 (7 million for a married couple).

So please, shut the fuck up already about it. If you are not making enough to pay it, you aren’t effected, and if you are making enough to pay it, cry me a fucking river of dollar bills.

And if you think this source is biased then please put your money where you mouth is and provide a reputable site that presents alternate numbers.

http://www.cbpp.org/pubs/estatetax.htm

That's right, baby, it's all going down TONIGHT.

Friday Night Fight

Tomorrow night, the moment is upon us. The final battle will be joined. It will be intellect versus interluck as Dr. Robert J. Murk Battles Captain Flak Paperpants (aka SpaceFarmer) to the death in an insult fight to end all insult fights. If the insults don't provide a fatality, we will record an actual fistfight until one man (or woman, in the Captain's case) taps out and submits.

Oh sure. It will be settled tomorrow night, but you might have to wait until Monday to hear the battle. I warned you. This will be graphic, ugly, evil. There will be no survivors. Listening will lower your IQ by twenty points.

Place your bets now. Place them in the comments section. Place them up your ass for all we care. It's on. It's going down. We're getting ready to rumble. Be afraid. Be somewhat afraid. Alien versus predator. Jason versus Freddy. Barney versus Fred. Emilio versus Charlie. You name it, we've got it.

So, lock the kids in the basement and send the wife on a slow boat to China because it ENDS HERE! Drop your pants and whip it out and put it in the mashed potatoes.

The Bash on a Podcast will be happening. So, if you see bright flashing lights, fire, tornadoes, tits or anything else, you know what's going on. Two old friends turned enemies are squaring off to flap the ass gates wide open and smell the sweet stink of victory. Are you brave enough to download?

Larry Bird vs. David Ortiz

You will only understand this article if you are a New England Sports Fan.
I love Bill Simmons. This is the best article he has written in awhile. Had me on the floor laughing.

I am Malach and Bird wins.

Ultimate Spider-Man

You know I love comics right? And how a lot of them are declining in quality and originality? Well here is my review of Ultimate Spider-Man....Well the current storyline at least!!!....Not sure if I already did that. I did, then it's just a fresh reminder. However, lets recap the Ultimate Marvel universe. Basically, they revamped the original Marvel universe to make bring it up to date with today's world. While everything is relatively the same there a some differences like Captain America being more violent than his 616 (Regular Marvel Universe) counterpart, Bucky being alive and living well into old age, Doctor Doom being a more goatlike creature, Nick Fury looks like Samuel L. Jackson, X-Men being all fucked up...Don't even want to go into that, the Avengers are now known as the Ultimates, Punisher being a wimp (To be honest he only showed up in one comic issue so far), and many other things I don't want to get into.

Now the current storyline is a retelling of the craptacular Clone Saga. Spider-Man finds out he has shitloads of clones yada yada. So far their are two parts already out but bygumm I will review them! The first part was slow like all firsts, it begins with a phone call between a young Peter Parker and Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat of X-Men fame). It's full of goodness that you can only fine on crappy daytime soap operas. Seeing as how they are both currently dating. You see, earlier issues shows that when dating Mary Jane Watson, Peter broke up with her to protect her from bad guys and all that jazz. By dating Kitty, Peter has someone that's already in the superhero business and that she can defend herself. Unlike MJ who is just a teenage girl who runs when fear is near! We fastforward to the mall. Suddenly the Scorpion appears!!! I kind of like this, first showing of the Ultimate version of the Scorpion. Besides shooting toxic crap from a tail he also shoots toxic crap from is wrists! Interesting to note that he just shows up randomly without anything leading up to it. After getting a beatdown from Spider-Man we discover that it's none other than...Peter Parker?!?! That's right, he's a goddamn clone. I get why they made him a clone, what I don't get is why make the clone the Scorpion? Are we going to see the real Scorpion if he ever appears again in the Marvel Universe?

Being freaked out, he goes to the only person that can help: Mr. Fantastic. Leaving the clone with Mr. Fantastic (who is in his twenties I might add) and the Fantastic Four he heads home to Aunt May. At home, he discovers that Mary Jane was kidnapped. OH SNAPS!!! Outside, we discovered that this person climbed up the side of the house. Yay, it's another clone that kidnapped her. Waking up Mary Jane finds out that she is being kept in a giant glass bubble being held captive by the clone of Parker. We find out that this place is at an abandoned Osborn Industries factory. (Cue dramatic music). Looking for Mary Jane, Peter goes into an abandoned warehouse. While searching the warehouse, Peter runs into.....Spider-Woman/Girl? After getting into a fight and losing Peter goes to his old house and discovers Gwen Stacy....Alive. So far this version of the Clone Saga is actually better than the old version...Which was crap. It so far has many many plot twists like the appearance of a Spider-Woman/Girl not quite sure yet. They also brought in Gwen Stacy...Most likely a clone. I do have one disappointment with the Ultimate Version of Gwen...She died in a crappy way which is a disgrace to the character. She died in a less dramatic way and they made her character a whinny little punk ass bitch. However, her appearance in the clone saga was not as surprising since in the original there was a Gwen Stacy clone. So we will have to see how this goes. I give the first two parts a B, hoping that when it concludes it would have a better conclusion and can be bumped to having an A seeing as how I'm only doing the first two parts.

As a side note the Ben Reilly in the Ultimate Universe is an African American with no ties to Peter Parker, this Ben was also responsible for creating the Ultimate version of Carnage.

Best Week Ever - WoW Style

The week at WoW.
One of the reasons I do this, is this blog sometime constantly updates and might be hard to keep up with. Angryman pointed out in his latest blog, that he has been MIA recently and has the task of trying to catch up here. Hopefully this helps.

8/3/03
The Thought Police are Here
Everybody Rock Out To This New Cheer!

8/2/03
World War III Anyone?
chaos dragon is a dummy
Get Your War On
Plug tunin'
Intelligent Voters defeat Intelligent Design
Hump Day Jokes!!!!
All Mel...All Drunk...All the time
Damn Funny..
RSS News Service!
Creative writing contest.

8/1/03
The More You Know!
Is this the face of an Anti-Semite?
Boy, do I feel stupid.
Some Useless Images from The Cap'n
Consumption..
No, no, no, no
i can't sleep
This Just In
LISTEN OR DIE!!!! New Podcast
A Plea

7/31/03
Why I Love Home Movies
What do you think about this?
Time is not on my side . .
WoW CONTEST: Ask Richard Dreyfuss!
Eleven Lessons I learned from Robert S. McNamara
The Haiku Challenge
Monday Morning
What happens when good community theater goes REALLY bad?
Some Random Shiite
A Request to be Disintegrated

7/30/03
Uhm Interesting
How drunk was I on Friday night?

7/29/03
An Interview With a Vampire... no... Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson blames alcoholism for his Anti-Semitism
Mel Gibson DUI Police Report

7/28/03
Too much Communion Wine for Mel Gibson
A plug
Trump trumps all other Monsters. End of story.
Bazoo, The Soul Eater
Place your bets! Place your bets!

7/27/03
Welcome to WoW.
Malach's Top Ten Fictional Villains
A couple of really fucked up emails.
Will the Big Dig Tunnel Curse be reversed? I DOUBT IT.

7/26/03
A Quick Do It Yourself Project
New WoW Theme Song
Malach's Crap
Cap'n Crap
OW!

Categories
Goverment/Politics
The Thought Police are Here
Intelligent Voters defeat Intelligent Design
What do you think about this?
Will the Big Dig Tunnel Curse be reversed? I DOUBT IT.

Babbling
Everybody Rock Out To This New Cheer!
Some Useless Images from The Cap'n
i can't sleep
Cap'n Crap
OW!

World Issues
World War III Anyone?
Consumption..

Insults
chaos dragon is a dummy
Time is not on my side . .
Malach's Crap

Entertainment
Get Your War On
Plug tunin'
Hump Day Jokes!!!!
Damn Funny..
LISTEN OR DIE!!!! New Podcast
Why I Love Home Movies
What happens when good community theater goes REALLY bad?
Some Random Shiite
A plug

Why Mel Gibson will sue us
All Mel...All Drunk...All the time
RSS News Service!
Is this the face of an Anti-Semite?
An Interview With a Vampire... no... Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson blames alcoholism for his Anti-Semitism
Mel Gibson DUI Police Report
Too much Communion Wine for Mel Gibson A plug

Contests
Creative writing contest.
WoW CONTEST: Ask Richard Dreyfuss!
The Haiku Challenge

Trivia
The More You Know!

Non-Fiction/Life Stories
Boy, do I feel stupid.

Administration
No, no, no, no A Request to be Disintegrated
A Plea
Welcome to WoW.
New WoW Theme Song

Drunken Debauchery
This Just In
Monday Morning
How drunk was I on Friday night?

Philosophy
Eleven Lessons I learned from Robert S. McNamara

Monster Fight
Trump trumps all other Monsters. End of story.
Bazoo, The Soul Eater

Wikibombs
Place your bets! Place your bets!

Top 10 Lists
Malach's Top Ten Fictional Villains

Fan Mail
A couple of really fucked up emails.

Home Improvement
A Quick Do It Yourself Project

I am Malach, improving your internet experience

The Thought Police are Here

See my article on the upcoming thought police and marshall law act.

"Single acts of tyranny may be ascribed to the accidental opinion of a day; but a series of oppressions, begun at a distinguished period and pursued unalterably through every change of ministers, too plainly prove a deliberate, systematic plan of reducing [a people] to slavery." --Thomas Jefferson: Rights of British America, 1774. (*) ME 1:193, Papers 1:125

"The oppressed should rebel, and they will continue to rebel and raise disturbance until their civil rights are fully restored to them and all partial distinctions, exclusions and incapacitations are removed." --Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Religion, 1776. Papers 1:548


"[We] should look forward to a time, and that not a distant one, when corruption in this as in the country from which we derive our origin will have seized the heads of government and be spread by them through the body of the people; when they will purchase the voices of the people and make them pay the price. Human nature is the same on every side of the Atlantic and will be alike influenced by the same causes." --Thomas Jefferson: Notes on Virginia Q.XIII, 1782. ME 2:164

Everybody Rock Out To This New Cheer!

*cheer leader shout*

Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!

Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!

Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!

Pope John Paul Lives In My Junk Drawer!

World War III Anyone?

Well, the human race has avoided an all out catastrophic war for over 50 years. Sure, we've seen some nasty confrontations since WW II, but nothing on that scale. What could ignite such a war? When religion and politics ride in the same cart...

This is what we have in the Middle East. Israel is playing a dangerous game. Israel was given its own sovergn nation after Worl War II. Okay. That makes sense... sort of. Unfortunately, it was set up right in the middle of the heart of Islam. Hundreds of years of crusades were fought for this barren plot of land. It's important to three faiths. It's where Mohammed received his vision. It's where Christ died. It's where Solomon built his temple. It is sacred ground. A tenous 'peace" has existed in this region for decades. The problem is...

All of Israel's neighbors resent the Jewish state. This can be managed by the international community as long as Israel doesn't attempt to extend its borders. It is doing just that.

I am not against support for Israel fighting for their own nation. I'm not sure I understand their means of doing so. The timing of the invasion of Lebannon is bad. Very bad. America has invaded Iraq and dared the world to oppose them. Israel had become emboldened by this. There is no way that Israel feels compelled to negotiate settlements with the United States and the United Kingdom backing them without question. At some point, support of Israeli aggresion must be at the very least questioned. Was this military campaign into Lebannon necessary? Isn't there enough tension there already?

The US has stuck by Israel for many years. What is Israel giving the United States in return? We've given them weapons, we've trained them, we've provided intelligence and we have been their 'big stick' to wave when other nations get mad. Israel might have pushed a bit too far this time.

Look, I'm not on the ground in the hot zone, but why are we supporting a pro Israeli invasion of another country? It's political suicide on a global scale. We went to far with Iraq. I admit it. I was a supporter of the war in the beginning, but I realize I was wrong. All it has done is foster hate and put a new corrupt government into power. We threaten Iran about nuclear proliferation, but we let Pakistan, India and even NORTH KOREA pursue their own nuclear agenda unchecked. What message are we sending and what way out is there at this point?

Here's my analysis:

1: Israel wants too much and will force the U.S. to join them. We have no alternative besides losing our 'stronghold' in the Middle East.

2: The U.N. is bungling the whole thing and making themselves a laughing stock as nations ignore their mandates and do whatever they want.

3: Islamic Fundamentalists will never stop until we withdraw from everywhere between China and Egypt.

4: North Korea and Iran will get nuclear weapons and delivery systems within ten years.

5: America is becoming everyone's scapegoat due to a cleverly disguised agenda of imperialism.

6: There are two distinct sides lining up. Neither side is willing to give in. A stalemate might be a lucky chance alternative, but is unlikely.

I'm over thirty and unable to serve, but some of you reading this are prime material for drafting. BUT, you are so blinded by TV aqnd video games that you honestly think all you'll have to do is say no and they'll let you stay home with mom and dad.

Will there be another World War? Eeventually, yes. Let's hope it's postponed until we are all dead due to natural causes.

I doubt that will be the case.

chaos dragon is a dummy

I think we can all agree that chaos dragon is stupid. what is he like five years old? yeah go make a homemade bomb and blow yourself up in the name of some blue muppet god and then dis fatbug because we all know you have much more talent.

far be it from me to use any format to hate on someone but come on kid

what's the matter? did mom say you couldn't go to the mall tonight?

your one of those pieces of shit it will take a long stick to push down and flush i bet

maybe instead of bagging on everything and everyone you should actually produce something of your own hmmmm? what have you made lately besides crusty tissue sculptures?

*excessively harsh call outs must be issued every first wednesday according to the WoW bylaws. sorry chaos dragon, your number came up*

Get Your War On

If you have not taken the time to read the "Get Your War On" archives, then you have been denying yourself one of the greatest sources of political satire ever known to man.

Plug tunin'

Since we pluggining away today . . .
Fat Bug 1.6 is now loaded. This episode Fat Bug take on the two idiots at Ctrl+Alt+Del, continues adveturing with Blue Guy from Gluemeat, and there is a special cameo from Sarah Zero.

I have also registered for the CAD Forums, but stupidly left my home e-mail and not work one, so I won't be able to post a link there until this evening. I am about to traverse the rest of the internet to drum up some links. Tim Buckley (the creator) from what I understand likes to threaten people, so I will expect some type of lawsuit soon.

As for the next webcomic, I still have not recieved the latest JesusMan! script, so I might skip a Wraith update to do the next episode of Fat Bug.

I am Malach and this has been a message from the Stool Sample Webcomics Broadcast System.

Intelligent Voters defeat Intelligent Design

With much relief, I just read this story in the New York Times. The conservative Kansas school board members who support teaching Intelligent Design in school seem to have been ousted by the voters. Kansas is back on track to actually start teaching science in biology classrooms again.

Here's my deal. It seems pretty obvious to me that Intelligent Design is just a way to try to sell Creationism with some scientific sounding words. Say I give you the benefit of the doubt, and agree that it isn't. You really believe in the logic that life is too complicated to evolve on it's own and someone/thing had to intelligently design it. I have a question for you:

Who designed the designer? By your own logic, we are too complicated to evolve, we had to be designed. Thus, our designer had to be even more complex; thus requiring his own designer. That designer, would require one, etc., out to infinity. Not only is ID completely unsupported by any science, it can't even stand up when examined under it's own underpinning logic.

IDiots.

Hump Day Jokes!!!!

A plane with 4 passengers is about to crash, but has only three parachutes. The first passenger says "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers need me. I can't afford to die." So he takes the first parachute and leaves the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says "I am the wife of the former President of the United States. I am the most ambitious woman in the world. I am also a New York Senator, a potential future President, and above all, the smartest woman in America." She grabs the second parachute and leaves the plane.

The third passenger, The Rev. Billy Graham, says to the fourth passenger, a 10 year old school boy, "I am old and I don't have many years left. As a Christian I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The boy says, "It's okay. There is still a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman took my school backpack."

*~*~*~*~*

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."

~*~*~*~*~

There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction.

The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself, "Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake.

What is the moral of the story?

Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy...

~wicked love~

All Mel...All Drunk...All the time

...Just released, for those of you who can't get enough drunken Mel, photos of him gettin down, before the 'incident.' Enjoy!

Damn Funny..

...alright, I'm not generally one to advertise for my own blog on here. And I'm not going to start being one too often. But I found something that is quite hilarious, and I had to choose which blog to post it on. I chose my own, which is much more hurting for content than the WOW here. But I think you all will very much enjoy this latest post. Think good ol GW, our idiot in chief, set to music. Yes, its a video. Yes, it will make you laugh. So, click on the banner above to visit the Greater Good, and laugh your skinny white butt off!

RSS News Service!

Breaking News.
RSS News has gotten a hold of an undoctored picture of Mel Gibson's mugshot. A unamed source emailed it to our news desk. So far the LA County Sheriff's Department has not commented.

Stay with RSS News from all you breaking stories!

Seig Heil, more stats from the Statzi!
Recent fun Keyphrase searches:
bilogy man woman sex : help me here, what does bilogy mean? Biology perhaps? Come to WoW from sex ed!
blow-up spacewalks : Um . . yeah
three testicles : Yeah, health class
watching other males pee at public toilets : Wake me up, before you go-go!
alex trebek's cock : I see a pattern here
lg f7200 tty devices : OK, we ever had an article of even mentioned a TTY device?
satanic layouts falling objects right side down cross for profiles for myspace.com : This must be something Toyi posted
spanked aimee' : Actually she was disintegrated

The 10 Countries who visit here most:
1. The United States
2. Unknown
3. China
4. Canada
5. Spain
6. Brazil
7. India
8. United Kingdom
9. Japan
10. Malaysia

The Top 10 Regions who visit here most:
1. California
2. Massachusetts
3. Michigan
4. Florida
5. British Columbia, Canada
6. Texas
7. Virginia
8. New Jersey
9. Valencia, Spain
10. Illinois

Shandong China in in 13th place. Now you know who to insult more, EH?

I am Malach and I am La Chupracabra

Creative writing contest.

So yeah, there's some sort of writing contest in my area. I think I'm going to enter. Don't really know what to write though. There's two choices: short story and essay.

I'm thinking about making a short story about a teenage suicide. At the outset, you're reading the kid's note to the people who found him, until a pleading woman interrupts the narrative. Then you realize that he's still in the process of writing it, and it ends with a bang. Morbid, I know... But I really want to emphasize the futility of suicide. I'm just afraid that it'll be considered too sad though. ><"

Oh, oh, and for the essay portion, I'm thinking of a counterpoint to the assumption that everything is bad for you (Video games, television, music, etc.) Still don't know how to start it. =\


Oh yeah, I sent Ch.2 Malach. Expect Ch3 soon. XP

The More You Know!

Did you know that Mick Fleetwood, the drummer for the group "Fleetwood Mac," appeared in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Manhunt."

Mick's most recognizable and famous feature is his beard... which he shaved off for his role of a fish-like alien delegate who was intent on blowing up the summit meeting which the USS Enterprise was taking him to.

Mick Fleetwood also starred in the 1987 science fiction movie "The Running Man" as Mick, the leader of an underground resistence movement.

Did you know that? Well, now you do.

Is this the face of an Anti-Semite?

I mean look at it!

I ask you again? is that the face of an Anti-Semite? Thanks to the LA County Sheriff, for the pic, and their desire to bring embarassment to celebrities.

I am Malach and I am a Gentile

Boy, do I feel stupid.

So, today as I was walking into my office, I saw this drop dead gorgeous girl walking in as well. I didn't know who she was.

Being a fast walker, I caught up to her and, of course, I had to start talking to her. We had some minor chit chat and then started talking about the weather.

And then... this happened:

HOTTIE: It's going to be nasty out here today.

CAP'N: I know. I hope the air conditioning in the building can keep up. Most of the time, I think it's too hot where I sit.

HOTTIE: Really? I usually have to wear a sweater or something to keep warm!

CAP'N: Wow. No kidding! Where do you sit?

HOTTIE: Right next to you.





fuck.

Some Useless Images from The Cap'n

Elephant Glory Hole

Radrum

The New Kuato

Another god damn fat kid

Consumption..

...American's generally make me angry. The people (generally) in this great nation seem to be only interested in consumption and entertainment. We want to surround ourselves with material objects, sit on our comfy couches, and just watch television (and yes, i am often guilty of this as well). So, when I'm really feeling guilty and let down by the nation i live in, I look at the habits of other nations. Are we so much worse than other nations. In some cases, absolutely. Then, I look at Japan. And I feel better.



Yes, that is a giant f'ing television.

No, no, no, no

Please don't ruin this series yet again.
Evidently Heath Ledger will play a starring role in the next Batman, The Dark Knight. Now Heath Ledger is a pretty good actor and all, but the Joker? I just don't see it.

What's wrong with Red Sox Nation.
All you hear about is all these sports repoters that Red Sox fans are no longer psycho, they are content with 2004, and spout the "at least they won one in my lifetime philosophy". It's true, gone are the depressions, sleepless nights, and negative attitude. No trades yesterday, and the Nation is ecstatic the young arms weren't traded, even for Andruw Jones. See here is the deal. This is direted at the Tony Mazzarotti's of the world. We are cured. We no longer are blinded by failure. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You see, Epstein and crew have built a farm system, and a team for the future. This team will be a dominant force for the next 5 plus years. Gone are the GM's that will mortgage the future for the present. Gone are the GM's the bring in the high priced free agent at the end of his career (they seem to have moved to Yankee stadium). Gone are the GM's that prize the long ball vs. the quality pitcher (also seem to have moved to the Bronx). They might not win this year, and I don't care, becuase in the next few years you are looking at a dynasty.

And David Ortiz, Malach is ready to service you sexually is you want that.

Don't ever, EVER mess with Chris.
You heard me.

Somone said they missed stats?
Well Malach the Statzi is back. Well last month we had 12,000 unique veiws. That is 4 times the previous month. Our total since opening this site? Just under 18,000 unique views. Hits? 187,000; 126,000 last month.

Top 10 Most Popular WoW articles:
1. A Couple of Quickes (if you are wondering why, this article is linked to by Trumba)
2. Soccer and the United States
3. Cars
4. If I were Leader of the Free World
5. Nacho Libre: A Review
6. Ohh, Daniel-san My Arm!
7. The Downhill Slide
8. Dear Governor Romney
9. Yellowstone Death
10. The Wand of Wonder
Ahh, Malach rules.

I am Malach, and I bring you the sound of music

i can't sleep

i can't sleep. it's too hot. so, here's a few things i was thinking.

dunkin donuts coffee tastes burnt all the time. honeydew coffee taste like rotten cream all the time. starbucks coffee tastes like i just got fucking mugged.

the best sandwich is straight blogna and crushed doritos. season to taste.

cops are cute little blue nazis. yes they maintain order and save us all from ourselves, but at what cost? I say we just let them all go and fend for ourselves.

if things as small as viruses can kill us, i shouldn't be afraid of some seven foot tall jujitso master with a gun, but i still am.

god made the world and then made the animals and then made man and then made women. then, he made it so none of us would get out alive. then he made us afraid of death. then he made death seem like a good alternative to life. then he murdered his own son. now, he want me to tell everyone how great he is. fuck that.

we should use genetics to make everyone look and act exactly the same. then we could make fun of each other for no good reason.

if you cook a steak in a pan, you're just making a big smelly mess.

i pissed in the bushes. did the bushes feel degraded? no. then why all the fuss when i piss on some old lady's leg? what is she, better than the plants of the earth?

i ran a green light and flipped off the waiting traffic. i repeat. the light was green. i'm an asshole.

if i could be anything in the world i'd be a unicorn or a fire truck.

i am bennie goodman. i am a vampire. you people are pink juice boxes to me. i'm going to get a copper pipe and pierce your aorta and take a big long drink, piggy.

This Just In

Mr Tooserious is still passed out.

LISTEN OR DIE!!!! New Podcast

*NEW* Show 9: Malach's Day Off *NEW* :This podcast comes complete with racially insensitive remarks, Mel Gibson vs. Officer Lee and the premiere of Butt Sex Man. Murk and Malach enjoy it all due to their special secret weapon: COFFEE!
-MP3 -Real Media

A Plea

Malach, PLEASE lose this awful theme music. It makes me scramble for my volume button every time I visit this site, which is usually at least once a day.

You have made me hate Ween. And because he can't hear it, you have made me wish, however briefly, that I was the Angry Veteran.

And that I do not forgive.

Dude, seriously...lose the music. I vote for no background music. It sucks.

I still love you, though, you big hairy chunk of burnin' funk.