Long Lost ...Hump Day Jokes

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!"The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. On the way back to bed, he passed his parents room. When he looked in, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his dad, "Hey Dad, what are you doing?" The dad answered, "Playing Cards". Little Johnny asked, "Whose your partner?" The dad answered, " Your mom". Little Johnny then passed by his older sister's room. Again, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his sister, "Hey Sis, what are you doing?" The sister answered, "Playing Cards." Little Johnny asked, "Whose your partner?" She answered, "My boyfriend."A little later, the Dad got up and went to the bathroom. As he passed Little Johnny's room, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his son, "what are you doing?" Little Johnny answered, "Playing Cards." The Dad asked, "Really? Whose your partner?" Little Johnny answered, "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

You thought I left … Well I did, but I’m back.

I hope you enjoyed these hump day jokes!

~wicked love~

Hobbs' New Favorite Blog

Hey all

Just wanted to quickly pop in and let you know about my new favorite blog.

My good friend was recently laid off, and his chronicling his adventures online

So, go take a look at his blog, called:

New Adventures in Unemployment

Enjoy

Be Afraid

I am Malach, I think

The Lie Is Over

Go Here

Punisher: Warzone - a review

Finally . . .
So, Malach, the Angry Piper, and Dr. Murk went to see Punisher: Warzone on Sunday, but Dr. Murk didn't show up, using one of his stupid typical excuse about not wanting to be seen in public with the likes of us, yeah whatever.

So, Malach, dressed of course in the trademarked assless chaps, and The Piper of course kilted met each other at the Cinema, and spent several minutes marveling at the Watchmen stands. Piper order some popcorn, with I am sure the standard hole in the bottom to place his erect penis, and Malach got a small Pepsi and some Milk Duds.

So we headed into the theater, we were the first ones there, so that gave us some quick make out time, but soon the theater was packed with 6 other people. The trailers started (sorry Tom Cruise, Valkyrie looks stupid), and soon we were starting the main flick, sans sound. This of course cheesed off the Piper to now end, and he went back to roundhouse kick the cinema manager, who proceeded to fix the sound.

The movie itself. Finally, the have done a proper Punisher movie. Brutal, violent, unyielding, and blood spattered; that has almost always been the Punisher in comics, and this movie delivers that. THIS IS NOT A SUPERHERO MOVIE. Don't be a idiot like the guy in front of us who brought his 8 year old. The movie is violent, and bloody. Also this is not a sequel to the 2004 movie, it is a reboot of the series which it needed.

Now, this is not a great movie in the vein of Iron Man or Dark Knight. This movie is not for everyone, but I enjoyed, and I am a long time fan of the Punisher. This movie does and excellent job of showing Frank Castle's obsessive war on crime, his violent black and white punishment of the criminal underworld, the why he does it, and even his pain of understanding the irony of his quest. Ray Stevenson is the perfect Punisher, in look and personality. Malach has commented that this style of the Punisher would make an excellent weekly TV series.

The actors they got playing the various characters all did a pretty good job, Wayne Knight (Newman of Seinfeld fame) played the perfect Microchip and Dash Mihok played the perfect Martin Soap. Dominc West did a pretty good job as Jigsaw, though I felt he was a little too over the top, too much Joker and not enough Whitey Bulger. Doug Hutchinson movie created character of Jigsaw brother Looney Bin Jim also does an excellent job, but I am not really sure he was needed for this movie.

Overall it was good movie, especially if you are fans of the Punisher, violence, vigilantism, and blood.

I am Malach, and I held hands with the Piper.

The Case of Caylee Anthony

Nancy Grace has been following this case from Day 1 and has a good blog with constant updates. As we enter week 25 of this story, I have to wonder, where is this case going?

Sounds about right to me.

I have invented a new machine

That's right . .
Malach has invented a Machine that can tap into your mind while sleeping and broadcast your dreams on a television. While playing around with it last night, I decided to peep into the Angry Piper's dreams.




All I got was a still picture, which is worth a thousand words.

Interesting no? Palmer, Choas Dragoon, please shut the door this time when you masturbate to this picture, Mom doesn't want to see that again.

I am Malach, the reincarnation of Edison

I told you so.....

Food Riots, Tax Rebellions By 2012...Trend forecaster, renowned for being accurate in the past, says

The man who predicted the 1987 stock market crash and the fall of the Soviet Union is now forecasting revolution in America, food riots and tax rebellions - all within four years, while cautioning that putting food on the table will be a more pressing concern than buying Christmas gifts by 2012.

Gerald Celente, the CEO of Trends Research Institute, is renowned for his accuracy in predicting fut More..ure world and economic events, which will send a chill down your spine considering what he told Fox News this week.

Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts.

"We're going to see the end of the retail Christmas....we're going to see a fundamental shift take place....putting food on the table is going to be more important that putting gifts under the Christmas tree," said Celente, adding that the situation would be "worse than the great depression".

"America's going to go through a transition the likes of which no one is prepared for," said Celente, noting that people's refusal to acknowledge that America was even in a recession highlights how big a problem denial is in being ready for the true scale of the crisis.

Celente, who successfully predicted the 1997 Asian Currency Crisis, the subprime mortgage collapse and the massive devaluation of the U.S. dollar, told UPI in November last year that the following year would be known as "The Panic of 2008," adding that "giants (would) tumble to their deaths," which is exactly what we have witnessed with the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns and others. He also said that the dollar would eventually be devalued by as much as 90 per cent.

The consequence of what we have seen unfold this year would lead to a lowering in living standards, Celente predicted a year ago, which is also being borne out by plummeting retail sales figures.

The prospect of revolution was a concept echoed by a British Ministry of Defence report last year, which predicted that within 30 years, the growing gap between the super rich and the middle class, along with an urban underclass threatening social order would mean, "The world's middle classes might unite, using access to knowledge, resources and skills to shape transnational processes in their own class interest," and that, "The middle classes could become a revolutionary class."

In a separate recent interview, Celente went further on the subject of revolution in America.

"There will be a revolution in this country," he said. "It’s not going to come yet, but it’s going to come down the line and we’re going to see a third party and this was the catalyst for it: the takeover of Washington, D. C., in broad daylight by Wall Street in this bloodless coup. And it will happen as conditions continue to worsen."

"The first thing to do is organize with tax revolts. That’s going to be the big one because people can’t afford to pay more school tax, property tax, any kind of tax. You’re going to start seeing those kinds of protests start to develop."

"It’s going to be very bleak. Very sad. And there is going to be a lot of homeless, the likes of which we have never seen before. Tent cities are already sprouting up around the country and we’re going to see many more."

"We’re going to start seeing huge areas of vacant real estate and squatters living in them as well. It’s going to be a picture the likes of which Americans are not going to be used to. It’s going to come as a shock and with it, there’s going to be a lot of crime. And the crime is going to be a lot worse than it was before because in the last 1929 Depression, people’s minds weren’t wrecked on all these modern drugs – over-the-counter drugs, or crystal meth or whatever it might be. So, you have a huge underclass of very desperate people with their minds chemically blown beyond anybody’s comprehension."

"When CNN wants to know about the Top Trends, we ask Gerald Celente."
— CNN Headline News

"A network of 25 experts whose range of specialties would rival many university faculties."
— The Economist

"Gerald Celente has a knack for getting the zeitgeist right."
— USA Today

"There’s not a better trend forecaster than Gerald Celente. The man knows what he’s talking about."
- CNBC

"Those who take their predictions seriously ... consider the Trends Research Institute."
— The Wall Street Journal

"Gerald Celente is always ahead of the curve on trends and uncannily on the mark ... he's one of the most accurate forecasters around."
— The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

"Mr. Celente tracks the world’s social, economic and business trends for corporate clients."
— The New York Times

"Mr. Celente is a very intelligent guy. We are able to learn about trends from an authority."
— 48 Hours, CBS News

"Gerald Celente has a solid track record. He has predicted everything from the 1987 stock market crash and the demise of the Soviet Union to green marketing and corporate downsizing."
— The Detroit News

"Gerald Celente forecast the 1987 stock market crash, ‘green marketing,’ and the boom in gourmet coffees."
— Chicago Tribune

"The Trends Research Institute is the Standard and Poors of Popular Culture."
— The Los Angeles Times

"If Nostradamus were alive today, he'd have a hard time keeping up with Gerald Celente."
— New York Post

So there you have it - hardly a nutjob conspiracy theorist blowhard now is he? The price of not heeding his warnings will be far greater than the cost of preparing for the future now. Storable food and gold are two good places to make a start.

GOT DEMOCRACY?

Not too sure if anyone cares....but.....

I'VE GOT SOMETHING YOU DON'T HAVE!! Yup...that would be the sound of me tooting my own damn horn. I can thank Brandon for it. :) I got the new Guns N' Roses CD today. HeHeHe!!

SO - Here is my official review for the new Guns n' Roses album, Chinese Democracy.

Don't think for one second that you are going to plop in the disk and magically hear that kick ass sound from 1987. You see, I've had the luxury (again - thanks to Brandon) of hearing this album evolve over the course of several years. So when the album finally hit my hands, I was not at all surprised by what I was hearing. I was pleased for the most part and mildly disappointed at others. But for you, or anyone who has not heard an ounce of this, do not assume it's the old Gn'R shit. It's not. If you get stuck with that assumption, you will be very disappointed.

The sound is eclectic, intricate and at times bombastic. Over the course of 19 years, Axl had put so much thought into tiny details that if you aren't listening - really listening - you'll miss the point. And at first glance, most everyone misses the point. So overall, the album can be interpreted as mediocre at best. But after you sit and listen to those intricacies, you hear what you're meant to hear and that's when it hits you - FUCKING GENIUS.

The break down:
- Chinese Democracy: This song is the title track (obviously) as well as first single. Over all, it's got good rockin' moments and has a solid vibe.

- Shackler's Revenge: This one has a mix of borderline Rob Zombie beats mixed with a good rock bridge and chorus.

- Better: One of my faves lyrically and musically. One of the earlier demos I heard was actually "Better" than the finished version. The vocals were cleaner and the mix of instruments was a bit more logical. On the finished version toward the end, it seems to be a bit chaotic and irrational. However I did hear other versions where the end was WAY worse. So....I guess compromise was made.

- Street of Dreams: A nice little "Use Your Illusions" ditty. The orchestration in it is nicely done.

- If the World: Great Spanish guitar part and funky rhythm that is uncharacteristic of Gn'R. The bass line reminds me of the song, "Digging in the dirty" by Peter Gabriel. It's roots are totally porn.

- There was a Time: Lyrically powerful and musically intricate. Another fave of mine. It rocks but it does slip into "Illusion" moments.

- Catcher in the Rye: Another "Illusion" type sprout however it's not as powerful as some of his other songs.

- Scraped: This is the song I do not like. Acappella stuff in the beginning (which he should never do again) and jarring music. It's like Red Hot Chili Peppers from 1991, mixed with a smidgen of Backstreet Boys and crack. Not good.

-Riad n' the Bedouins: This has fun craziness. It's Led Zepplin on Crank. Not one that I'm keen on but it's tolerable.

- Sorry: This is a very powerful song. I think that this is in my 2nd to the most favorite song. It's raw emotion, melancholy backdrop, and pointed lyrics make this song something worthy of everyone's attention.

- I.R.S.: I like this song. It's like bubble gum. It's got pop. This is one where you have to really listen to what's going on with the instruments to sort of get what's going on. Otherwise, you're lost and the pace will throw you off.

- Madagascar: This is the genius song. I fell in love with this song over 2 years ago and it still breaks my heart. I love it. It also has a melancholy backdrop mixed with a sort of hip-hop type beat until it starts to really get into the song. Vocally, it's rough but I think that his vocals were left raw intentionally.

- This I Love: It's like an early 80's love story. Good orchestra parts. Enough said.

- Prostitute: I totally dig this song. The beginning is so-so, but the bridge is so super and chorus is divine. Axl was noted as saying that he really wanted the drums to sound like the drums from "Teen Spirit". And yes, if you listen, you will hear it. The guitar solo is alright...it's the background (again) that is enjoyable.

So, that's what I think. Go to the link I have on the title, the album is streaming on their MySpace page.

I'm "just me" and I've just liberated you.

Spirit

(Permission-Step-Body) and Spirit.

Permission granted; proceed with one slow step at a time. The body keeps rhythm with the energy; movement and momentum of emotion gather at the solar plexus; negativity released through exhale, deep inhale brings refreshing energy back; spirit is fed one slow breath at a time. Breathe deep.

The nourishment of pure (uncontaminated) sustenance feeds both the body and the spirit while it detoxifies and removes poisons.

Yet more change!

Today I realize, that while I am still a Veteran, I am no longer Angry. Today, I have hope. I know that soon I will not be living under the Administration that lied us into war and sent so many of my fellow soldiers to death. So, in catharsis, I am letting go of my moniker of The Angry Veteran.

I'm not sure what handle I should use, so Im just going to combine my age (Generation X)and my occupation (Attorney, or "Esquire") with a little play on words. Generation Xsquire, or Gen Xsq. for short. There, I feel better.

Perhaps I'll even start a new blog.

2008 Election

Been awhile huh?

It's a historic moment in America right now. Barack Obama is our 44th President and he is the first African-American to be elected to that office. But, while the Presidential Election is over and done with. Here in my home state of California we are not finished yet, we still need to tally the votes for the various Propositions and Measures (as do other states).

One hot button issues in California is Proposition 8. Many of you may have heard about it, if not, it proposes to eliminate the rights of same-sex couples to get married in the state of California and will only recognize a marriage between a man and a woman as valid.

I can not begin to fathom the bigotry that this Proposition is based upon. While the issue of race has been all but eliminated in this country (yes, there are still racists out there I know) people still discriminate homosexuals. They usually hide behind the bible as a way to defend their views and stating that this is a "Judeo-Christian Nation."

They claim that schools will teach about gay marriage along with "regular marriage" and that kids are better with heterosexual couples. That's bullshit, and everyone knows it. Me and a whole slew of other people were never really taught about marriage, schools just don't touch upon that here. And the claim that kids are better with heterosexual couples is a total lie, it doesn't matter who a kids parents are. Whether they're black, white, asian, latino, gay, or straight; the only thing that matters is how the parents raise their kids.

It's sad too, a lot of people that support gay marriage are voting for Propostion 8. They believe that churches would get sued and kids will be taught about gay marriage.

At this moment I'm proud to be an American, and slightly more optimistic about the future. But I don't know how I feel about being a California. Disgusted? It's not the right word but it's close enough.

Hehheheh....

HehehehehehhHAHHHAHhhhahahah
HHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA
HHAAhhhAAAAAAAAAHHAH
HAHHAHAHHAAHHAHHHA
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Modest Proposal-

As Election Day rumbles into its final hours we are once again hearing reports of voters being mysteriously dropped from their local voting rolls, fouled-up machinery, and long lines, up to 6 or 7 hour-long lines in some places in Virginia.

I submit that this is a disgraceful state of affairs for the country that is supposed to be setting the standard for other nations to follow. I have therefor assembled a pair of Modest Proposals I hope the next President and Congress will consider-

-Automatic National Voter Registration. If you are a US citizen, you are a registered voter. Start a Federal Voter Database which is tied to your social security number. When you move your registration is automatically forwarded to your new precinct and deleted from your old one. No need to register, check local voter lists against federal lists, etc. Just a clean, everyone-is-registered system with one list.

-Apportionment of Voting Machines Based on Local Voter Registration. It's a disgrace that there are such wildly disparate waits to vote across the country. We're going to have a fairly high turnout in our town, and FB and I waited five minutes to vote this morning. Federal Law needs to require that an appropriate number of voting machines are available in every precinct based on the number of voters in that precinct.

It's high time America left the 19th century behind in terms of local and state-control of the basics of voting. The Federal government needs to step in and set some real standards, and take over registration. To ignore this problem is simply going to mean a continuing set of crises caused by antiquated machinery, poor funding and local political skullduggery and party thuggery aimed at disenfranchising certain blocks of voters.

Here's hoping everything goes well this time, but based on current news reports, I'm not betting on it. Enough is enough.

I ask you, honestly...

HOW COULD YOU NOT
WANT TO FUCK THAT?

Body

The vehicle is powerful. Enter, create space. Use rhythm to access the mind. Rhythm dictates movement. Movement unlocks emotion. Create favorable emotions. Get them moving. Move with them. Set a steady rhythm. The body moves and the heart opens.

The body is capable of anything, given the right movement.

Step

Move one step in. You have to have a sense for rhythm. Enter in and begin. Match blink for blink. Mirror. Lull. Drum into the soul. You need to understand the key to the mind is not the eye, but the ear. Images control the surface. Underneath, we are sound and rhythm.

Create access into the mind with rhythm.

More Watchmen

I am Malach once again with the good stuff.