Dark Knight, A Review

Welcome to a World Without Rules
So, Malach and Dr. Murk went this afternoon to go see The Dark Knight. We were supposed to be joined by The Angry Piper, but he pulled a Otis Serungis on us.

The Dark Knight is of course the latest in the series of Batman movies, this being a sequel to the very good Batman Begins, and like it's predecessor has nothing to do with the Batman movies of the late 80's through 90's. Like those movies it attempts to move Batman away from the campy 60's version my parents grew upwith, and return Batman to what he really is.

It of course was excellent overall, Christian Bale once again does an decent job portraying a tough character to portray, playboy billionaire industrialist by day, and violent costumed vigilante by night. The polarity of a hero who is doomed to be the same as his villains.

This movie of course features Heath Ledger's version of the Joker, Gary Oldman retaining his role of Jim Gordon, and Aaron Eckhardt playing an awesome Harvey "Two Face" Dent. Maggie Gyllenhaal takes up the role of Rachel Dawes, the role Katie Holmes played in Batman Begins before she was kidnapped by Xenu. Micheal Caine returns as Alfred, and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox.

The casting is excellent, Bale does a adequate job in the Bruce Wayne/Batman role (better than any previous), even though his whispering disguised voice as Batman is kind of annoying; Ledger lives up to the hype as the Joker, a very dark, psychotic, insane genius version of him, maybe too insane, a bit far from the comic book version, but I prefer the Joker this way anyway (IE The Killing Joke). Eckhardt though, steals the show as Harvey Dent, and especially his transformation into Two Face.

The movie is a shade under 3 hours, and in that time explores mainly the Joker, and how he completes messes up Gotham City, from the Crime Lords, the Police, Harvey Dent, and Batman. While not giving a true origin of the Joker beyond little tidbits from the Joker himself ("ask me how I got my scars"), the movie explores the reasons for the Joker being, how Batman and Joker are the same person in a way, and Ledger plays up his psychotic brilliance perfectly. The Joker does these excellent choice based death traps, that add a real sense of nuttiness to the character. While Batman won't bring himself to kill, the Joker refuses to kill Batman, or he would have no reason for being. As he is Batman's greatest foe, Batman is his. As the Joker states in one great scene to the Bats, "You complete me". Better than Nicholson, but Mark Hamill still did the best Joker.

The Joker is eventually captured, but this is all part of his plan, and plan that turns Harvey Dent into Two Face, and further crumbles Batman and Bruce Wayne's world around him, by the end of the film, Batman is as wanted as the villains he fights. Wayne Manor is still ruins, and the love of his life is dead.

If you are any sort of fan of Batman, this is a must see movie, just for the portrayals of the Joker and Two Face. The movie is obviously open for a sequel, Batman's greatest enemy lives (though the actor portraying him didn't).

I have few complaints about the film. The first is it does not come across whether or not Two Face dies in the movie, neither myself nor Murk could figure that out. Also, this might be too realistic as a Batman movie, Batman almost seems out of place in his own movie, which is pretty much a dark gritty homicide drama. He was almost like if you had a pro wrestler leading a homicide investigation. Finally, it is the complaint I have about EVERY Batman movie. Why can they not ever get the costume so it looks cool, and not stiff, over armored, and more fluid like the comics? They could do it for the Spiderman movies, why not Batman? Perhaps they are trying to make it too realistic, Batman is a comic book hero, and does not look like one in this movies? He looks more like a armored martial artist. Use some CGI if you need too.

Was is better the Ironman? I am still debating that. But is get 3 1/2 Rubbersuitheads out of 4.

I am Malach, and you wanna know where I got my scars?

Fuck The Dark Knight

ADAM WEST IS TEH BOMBZ.

God Bless CNN

I know, I know, I'm normally bitching up a storm about CNN, but they've really come through for me lately. They have this feature on their news stories called "From The Blogs". It's down at the bottom of the page and if you click on it, it will provide a list of sites that link to and/or discuss the news story. I've been using a large number of CNN.com stories for my ROYTERS articles and I'm getting a whole hell of a lot of traffic from CNN.com. It's nowhere near the traffic that I'm getting for "madonna naked", but it's a help.
Where would ROYTERS be without the entertainment stories that C.Rag does?

WATCHMEN TRAILER

There is now and official trailer up on Apple.com

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/watchmen/high.html

That should stay up no matter what. But you fuckers still heard it from me first.... fuckers.

(Malach here) I also found this one as i09 site seems to be crashing with traffic:

Empire's original.

(Malach Again) I found another, we will see how long this lasts

The Sleazy Adventures of Dick Biggman - Part XV

Looking for some Dick that will blow you clear off of the face of the Earth? No problem. We've got it.

DICK BIGGMAN that is.

That's right. He's louder than a Saturn V rocket heading off to the moon and more egotistical than a smart ass astronaut telling war stories in a whore laden bar room. So, if you can't start your countdown, get off my launch pad.

As for the rest of you who are ready to liftoff... you are "GO" for main engine startup:

Episode 82, Episode 83, Episode 84, Episode 85, BONUS EPISODE

My Monster is not always nice.

Sure, we fight from time to time.

Sometimes, he wins. Sometimes, I win.
But I will always love my Monster.

This is interesting

How is the Wand of Wonder Percieved?
This image was made using Wordle. It works by basically taking the most common articles here, and most popular search engines-wise, taking one word keywords out of those articles, and making a image based on the words, the more popular the keyword, the bigger the word. Check it out:

Click it to enlarge, and try it out with your own blog. Thanks to that English hottie, Kitty for the link.

Sometimes you have to ask yourself...

WHAT WOULD DICK BIGGMAN DO?

Watch for all new episodes of
The Sleazy Adventures of Dick Biggman
coming soon!

Only on The Wand of Wonder!


Do you have ideas for an episode of Dick Biggman?
Well, let's hear 'em!
Post your ideas in the comments section today
and, who knows, your vision of my Dick just might come true!

Iconic and legendary but fading

So...for crap and giggles (because I'm very irritable when I'm constipated), I was looking up info on Bettie Page tonight and came across an interview that she did in 1997. However, she did not want her face to be seen as she prefers that she be remembered for who she was and not as she is now.

Anyway....the interview, as interesting as it was, wasn't what caught my attention. Brothers and sisters, I give you this Wow exclusive.....Bettie Page is ill. Below is the interview and then HERE is the link to the youtube.com site where the interviewer asks for us to pray for her ailing health in the comments section (6 hours ago as of now).



I'm a very big fan of Ms. Bettie Page and can't tell you all what a remarkable woman she is. She's had many trials that she overcame and yet she remained such a humble person who's devout relationship with God is inspiring to me.

Let us give strength to her during her battle with her health and remember her beauty and inspiration in the art world of photography and film.

The Sleazy Adventures of Dick Biggman - Part XIV

When was the last time you got crazy with some really hot dick? Maybe now it's time you did!

DICK BIGGMAN that is.

Yeah, his shit spewing mouth is more dangerous than a volcano on the big island of Hawaii.

So, if you don't want to take a front seat to witness the great and terrible things that explode out of Mount Biggman, you should go do something safe like mow your lawn or fuck a watermelon.

As for the rest of you who are ready to blow your top... let's light it up:

Episode 77, Episode 78, Episode 79, Episode 80, BONUS EPISODE

NEWSBOYS - BREAKING NEWS!

Executive Decision Maker Toy used to make actual Executive Decision

NEWSBOYS: (New York) Senior Executive J. Daniel Goldsheim, III who currently acts as COO and a member of the Board of Directors for the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) recently decided to outsource a 3.2 million dollar customer service contract to an overseas vendor based solely on the results given to him by an executive decision maker toy he was given at a recent trade show.

"You know, I was having a hard time making the decision myself to outsource these jobs. I was getting conflicting data from the project leads and other team members so finally I figured, hey, what the hell, I'll ask my executive decision maker / paperweight that I got at the American Accounting Association Show in Anaheim. At first, it told me to "pass the buck," but I couldn't do that. On the second spin, it said "yes" and that was that. Decision made!"

Mr. Goldsheim's spin decision will mean the outsourcing of 750 jobs that could have gone to workers in the United States. However, this will result in an estimated savings of $25,000,000 over the course of the next 10 years. Board members and NYSE Senior Officers have applauded his decision and have asked that he hook them up with the same toy the next time he swings by the StockFox booth.

Mr. Goldsheim further indicated to Newsboys reporters that he is considering using his executive decision maker to make the tough calls on information technology enhancements, product roadmaps, corporate communications, advertising campaigns and improvements to the NYSE facilities.

Although when asked about submitting a picture to Newsboys to accompany this article, he replied by spinning his toy and telling reporters that he will have to "sit on it."

Batman: Gotham Knight, a review

Good Stuff
So, Malach who has a plethora of Best Buy gift certificates, went out and purchased Batman: Gotham Knight (BGK) and watched it last night. BGK is a direct to video 6 episode interrelated animated films; a Batman anthology, in the vein of the Animatrix. They are set between the events of the feature length movies, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

The shorts are written by a collection of well known American comic book writers, screenwriters, and television writers: Josh Olson, David Goyer, Brian Azzarello, Greg Rucka, Jordan Goldberg and Alan Burnett. Each of the 6 shorts is individually written by one of the writers, but relates to the whole; the first couple years of Batman's career. As each short has a different writing style, they also have a different animation style, each directed and animated by a popular anime director: Shojiro Nishimi, Futoshi Higashide, Hiroshi Morioka, Yasuhiro Aoki, Toshiyuki Kubooka, and Jong-Sik Nam (Yeah Wikipedia is racist against the Japanese, no articles on these directors). Bruce Timm of course is the executive producer, and BGX retains his influence and additionally the talents of Kevin Conroy and many of the original voices actors from The DC Animated Universe. It is rated PG-13, for stylized violence, and has some pretty gory, though cartoony, violence in parts, including a decapitation, and realistic depiction of unanesthesitized surgery.

The 6 stories trace Batman's first year or two as the caped crusader, taking off right from a few months after Batman Begins. He battles the likes of Killer Croc and The Scarecrow; Gotham's ultra violent gangs and criminal underground; explores much of his psychological makeup (why he does what he does, and the crazy edge he rides and a costumed vigilante); explores his pre-Batman training through effective flashbacks; and finally fights off Deadshot. Much of the hour plus explores Batman and Bruce Wayne, what made him and why he does it. The animation style is pretty amazing, and yes, it has some anime elements to it, but not so overpowering that the Angry Piper will hate it. It is more in the highly detailed vein of Akira, Spirited Away, or Cowboy BeBop than say something like Naruto or or the cheesy anime rip off they did for Teen Titans. The animation is impressive, breathtaking in places. The fluid movements, the stylization, and especially Gotham.

The short films do an excellent job of establishing what Batman is, if you had never known what Batman was, these films would immediately get you started. The intro film, not part of the 6, does an very interesting job of describing how Batman is perceived from the eyes of 4 kids. Each has seen Batman fighting and unnamed robber, and each perceives him in a different way, while perfectly describing Batman's image. One of the middle films, has Batman deep in the Gotham sewers, severely injured, and bleeding profusely, attempting to make it back to the surface, where of course Alfred is waiting, fighting off pain and unconsciousness, and continually flashes back to his early training with a Fakir woman.

While for some, it might miss what they are looking for . . . classic Batman vs. Villain of the Week battles, true Batman fans, especially fans of Batman: The Animated Series, and the current The Batman, will love these films as much of the influence on the character provided by these "cartoons" is felt in this and the current feature films.

Malach gives it 3 out of 4 Rubbersuitheads, and be careful with this one around children.

I am Malach, The Batman

The Secret of Life

This guy I knew took thirty hits of acid one night. I had to babysit him for a few hours. During the course of his ordeal, I had to leave because he seemed to be getting violent and no one else was around.

His friends found him a few hours later, naked, hiding in a closet waiting to ambush them. He thought they had the Secret of Life. They had to restain him for a while. After this, he kept asking them, "What do I do now? What do I do now?"

He and I were decent friends up until that night. He remembered me leaving him in the midst of a bad trip. He never quite spoke to me again.

Whatever happened between the time I left and the time his friends found him was rather profound. I can only imagine what time dialation and hallucination is like when you've been left in the dark for a couple of hours. Somewhere in that gap between me and them, he saw what we all fear. He came to know a fact that none of us wants to know, because on the surface it seems so empty and tragic we can't accept it.

Accepting a fact such as this is easy compared to accepting the Secret of Life, even though it would seem easy enough if I put the thought out there.

ROYTERS

Come on over to ROYTERS guys.

Here are some of the recent posts:

1) Republicans upset with McCain's Common Sense Positions

2) Weekend News Brief (about China Olympics) and

3) Jesse Helms Dead

GO OVER AND READ THE POSTS!

The return of the Search Phrase Gremlins

It's Back!
Now that Third Option Media has built up a number of blogs, articles, and such, we now have the return of the Search Phrases! Beyond the obvious and most popular which either have to do with slow pitch softball or cures for high blood pressure (there are hundreds of those), we got these funny ones too. Enjoy the ride of hilarity!

• how to defeat sin in the airship
• toyi naked in eden
• mr. fantastic mary jane watson hentai
• [jod] super smash kung fu panda radio helicopter
• zangief gay parade
• wife loves wand
• vigilante for hire new bedford massachusetts
• vampire bite cock
• tripping off skittles
• son and mother hump like mad
• people with high blood pressure does really get angry easily
• obama is a lieing sack of shit
• no-you-idiots it's-tony-blair!
• lara logan's feet pics
• john mcain eats babies
• dana bash and horse face
• cat cora's tits
• cannot focus very well high blood pressure
• is astroglide flammable
• i hate choas dragoon
• random junk i can get high on
• why can i only remember things that have happened a few hours ago
• vampires vs cock
• explain evil heart
• i always wonder if i should give the ass or the crotch
• naked families

And that is only from the past week

I am Malach, your New Bedford Vigilante

My thoughts on the secret of life

Ahhhh my beloved brother(s) and sister(s). How I have missed you . I know.....you haven't missed me. But believe me, I have certainly missed all of you. And there are new faces here who haven't yet met me but I say to you, I miss you too.



Even though I do not have very much strength, I wanted to respond to Murk's call. I apologize for the lengthy delay in getting to this.....but my time is valuable and I tend to use it in other ways as of late.


The Secret
So, Murk says he holds the secret to life. Well good friends, I say this: The secret to life isn't "The Secret". I've read the book and it's pretty much another person stealing the ideas of greater minds. Tacky if you ask me. Don't get me wrong. The idea behind it is actually important in many ways but the reality of the actual book....it's a scam. If you want to read a book that isn't a scam, I suggest "The Four Agreements".

What is the secret? I know what the secret is and it's for you to figure it out on your own. I'm not trying to be arrogant or rude, it's just part of the truth. You see, I can tell you the secret and then you would say, "Bullshit. That can't be the secret." Well, it wouldn't be unless you've lived it and came to that answer on your own. (Wow - I sound like Murk. YUCK!)

But here is a hint: It's bigger than the ocean. Okay - Another clue: Part of the secret is it has to do with your attitude. No, this isn't a hippy-bug-eater-notion. It's one of the truths.

The meaning of life.....well....the meaning of life is the same as the secret from one degree to another. The secret is the meaning and the meaning is the secret. You can't know one without the other. You don't have to believe that and I invite you to challenge the notion.

Why am I being so cryptic? Because my truth is not your truth and your truth may only hold half of mine. It isn't necessarily "what" we believe but how we come to the conclusion of the belief. It's the "how".......oops...I revealed another clue. But even with that said, how we reach the answers may take longer for some than for others. Some may never know while others simply meander blissfully content with their knowledge. Oh but believe me, there are many who believe the lie without allowing room for growth and those are the ones that I worry about. If you do not allow for an openness, than you are starving yourself from spiritual fruits that are meant to nourish you. Damn - another clue.

Murk also invited doubters. Murk could never get doubt from me. It isn't in my nature to doubt that which I know to be true. And as Murk also said, I do not have hard evidence of my knowledge in which to debate anyone however, I can still debate a person and lead them to their own truth. Or I could simply invade your mind and change it for you. That was a joke.

Indeed Murk, Malach and Spacefarmer have worked many years on their valuable project and I for one can attest to it. My hope is that one day their project will spring forward and gain the recognition it deserves. I also hope that it will become the beacon that they have sought to make it and that people will flow there to find guidance for their journey. Some of you may be thinking, "Seriously? Are you talking about the same people??" Yes. Without a doubt, my friends, they are more than they seem and I know them to be very generous in their hearts as well as in their souls. (Oh - did I just ruin that for you guys?) Perhaps one day, I will be able to provide more assistance on that project but until then, I can only contribute what little time I have here.

It is a long road...finding the answers. But I believe that it will come and now I invite you dwellers of the blogsphere to seek it out. What is the secret to life? What is the meaning of it all? Come tell us what you find and enjoy your journey.

I hold the secret to life and so do you.

Marvel casts its web in the most unlikely of places.

(click to view full size)

The Sleazy Adventures of Dick Biggman - Part XIII

Go ahead and light those bottle rockets and M-80's! It's time to herald the arrival of some exciting new Dick!

DICK BIGGMAN that is.

Yeah, you know it. That long lasting always offensive fat man from the comic office in my imaginationland is back for more.

So, if you don't want to kick back and see what goes on inside and outside the mind of the world's most obnoxious businessman, then you should go read something safe and sound like CNN.

Are you in? Well, then once again here we go:

Episode 72, Episode 73, Episode 74, Episode 75, BONUS EPISODE